I usually totally despise self-help books of the 'how to get a man and keep him' type, but this one, although like most self-help books pretty silly, does contain some quite sensible advice.
Dr. Allen's theory is that everyone is either a 'feminine energy' person or a 'masculine energy' person. The masculine eneergy personis the leader who cherishes his mate, the feminine energy person is the follower who respects her leader. Dr. Allen doesn't think it matters whether the man or the woman is the leader or the follower (this makes her more flexible than the authors of most such books), but she maintains that you must have one of each, she doesn't think 'equal' relationships can work.
If you decided to be the 'feminine energy' woman (as she thinks most women will probably want to be) you let the man make the running, make the decisions (so long as they are not unethical, immoral, or something that can harm you or your children), and accept what he gives you graciously (that includes accepting things you might not particularly care for, like unwanted advice). You always give back less than you take, because a feminine energy woman must love herself more than her man.
One of her theories is that men want to marry virtupous women, so you must not sleep with a man until he has 'committed' to you, if you want to marry him. I don't know how true this is generally, but it certainly wasn't true in my own case, I slept with all the men I went out with before they'd 'committed' to me, but nevertheless some of them did want to marry me.
The part of this book I enjoyed the most is the chapter called 'Finding the Toad in every Prince' in which she describes how you cope when you discover the things about your prospective mate that you don't like. she says "There is a prince in every toad and a toad in every prince. But does someone fall in love with the prince part of a person? No way. They fall in love with the toad part. It's the idiosyncracies and weirdness that really endears someone to you, the part that makes you say "Oh, that's just him" and you love him anyway.
I tell women if they are still waiting for the perfect man - mentally, physically and emotionally he's not coming.
I feel that if you get someone who is 51 percent or better, keep him. That is to say, if you like more about the person than you don't, then go for it. Because odds are that if you don't, and you go out looking for a better deal elsewhere, you could end up with someone who is only 49% or worse."
I thought this was very sensible advice. One of the things I like about this book, is that Pat allen does not recommend a woman making herself into a doormat, or behaving as if only what the man wants matters, she believes that a naturally 'masculine energy' man will want to keep his wife happy and give her what she wants.
Not everything in this book made sense to me, but I did think some of the advice was quite sensible, and you might find it helpfull. It certainly didn't induce in me the feelings of nausea that other books of this kind have done.
