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Getting Good Loving: Seven Ways to Find Love and Make it Last Paperback – February 15, 2005
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Offers healing prescriptions to help us work through our complex problems and move toward healthier relationships.Nathan McCall, author of Makes Me Wanna Holler
With sensitivity and wit, [Chapman] suggests ways black men and women can shed their defenses and learn to trust each other again.Publishers Weekly
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Top Customer Reviews
GETTING GOOD LOVING is a wonderful new-age book that outlines, with great expertise, the many issues black men and women eventually face during their courtships and marriages. The author examines several issues such as controlling, feeling insecure, demanding attention, using sex as a way to get what you want, giving and receiving the wrong signals, playing with each other's emotions and refusing to compromise which in some cases are rooted from childhood and negative social protocol. For example, a man who grows up in a fatherless household has only his mother as a role model. Therefore, he may have opted to be more attracted to a woman who reminds him of his mother with expectations of the latter. With similar situations, some women may opt to be more attracted to older men using them as the father they never had.
Ms. Chapman's book goes into depth explaining the argumentative areas that couples face and introduces techniques on how to help couples and individuals work collectively together to arbitrate their issues. She is thorough and leaves nothing to ponder. What gives additional credence to this well written book is Ms.Read more ›
Honestly, I am not into "self help" books and placed this book on the back burner for months simply because I had preconceived notions on what it was about and the advice it contained. Nonetheless, I picked it up with an open mind and was really surprised that this book was much better than I thought - I learned a lot! The author, a noted lecturer and therapist, discusses harmful socialized behavior, traits, habits, and environmental circumstances that I instantly recognized within my family, friends, and myself. However, the most important and helpful aspects of the book are the jewels of knowledge and positive approaches to overcome those behaviors and thoughts that were sprinkled through the book.
Chapman unabashedly peels back the proverbial onion to expose superficial issues that cover the underlying sources of tension in relationships - particularly African American relationships. The multifaceted aspects of high (and sometimes unrealistic) expectations, economics, education, chauvinistic attitudes, black male shortage, etc. combine to make the dating and mating situations even more tremulous and complex. The author examines and points out historical and current circumstances in African American culture that yields adults with voids and needs for emotional closeness. She proposes how popular societal messages often reinforce negative images and thoughts about marriage and commitment and goes a step further to cite how families, churches, academic institutions have failed black women and men in their efforts to make relationships work better.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This is for anyone who wants to better understand themselves and their potential partners But you have to be willing to take a honest look at yourself .Published 6 months ago by CHARLES ANTHONY GUNTER
This book provides a clear and concise design of how and why black relationships fail and succeed. I have been giving it to sister friends as a gift for all seasons for many years! Read morePublished 7 months ago by Rochelle Soeatan
We were supposed to read this book for a seminar and I couldn't get past the first few pages. I wish I could of sent it back, but it wouldn't have been worth the costs.Published 23 months ago by AMarie