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Getting Good Loving: Seven Ways to Find Love and Make it Last Paperback – February 15, 2005

4.2 out of 5 stars 8 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

With sensitivity and wit ... suggests ways black men and women can shed their defenses and learn to trust each other. -- Publisher's Weekly

From the Inside Flap

Audrey Chapman leads the discussion on how black men and women can move from destructive relationships to healthy loving.—Bebe Moore Campbell, author of Brothers and Sisters

Offers healing prescriptions to help us work through our complex problems and move toward healthier relationships.—Nathan McCall, author of Makes Me Wanna Holler

With sensitivity and wit, [Chapman] suggests ways black men and women can shed their defenses and learn to trust each other again.—Publishers Weekly

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 188 pages
  • Publisher: Agate Bolden; 3rd edition (February 15, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1932841032
  • ISBN-13: 978-1932841039
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,740,353 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Take a moment and sort through all of your self-help books on relationships that include, but are not limited to ways to please your mate, how to get him or her to listen, how to know what your mate wants, how to bring sparks back into your marriage and how to keep or find your soul mate. Remove them from your bookshelves and add GETTING GOOD LOVING by Audrey B. Chapman, an all-in-one self-help book providing all the answers and methods to the questions and concerns you have with your relationship and marriage.

GETTING GOOD LOVING is a wonderful new-age book that outlines, with great expertise, the many issues black men and women eventually face during their courtships and marriages. The author examines several issues such as controlling, feeling insecure, demanding attention, using sex as a way to get what you want, giving and receiving the wrong signals, playing with each other's emotions and refusing to compromise which in some cases are rooted from childhood and negative social protocol. For example, a man who grows up in a fatherless household has only his mother as a role model. Therefore, he may have opted to be more attracted to a woman who reminds him of his mother with expectations of the latter. With similar situations, some women may opt to be more attracted to older men using them as the father they never had.

Ms. Chapman's book goes into depth explaining the argumentative areas that couples face and introduces techniques on how to help couples and individuals work collectively together to arbitrate their issues. She is thorough and leaves nothing to ponder. What gives additional credence to this well written book is Ms.
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Format: Paperback
"The first step toward achieving a better relationship is attaining a greater understanding of yourself."

Honestly, I am not into "self help" books and placed this book on the back burner for months simply because I had preconceived notions on what it was about and the advice it contained. Nonetheless, I picked it up with an open mind and was really surprised that this book was much better than I thought - I learned a lot! The author, a noted lecturer and therapist, discusses harmful socialized behavior, traits, habits, and environmental circumstances that I instantly recognized within my family, friends, and myself. However, the most important and helpful aspects of the book are the jewels of knowledge and positive approaches to overcome those behaviors and thoughts that were sprinkled through the book.

Chapman unabashedly peels back the proverbial onion to expose superficial issues that cover the underlying sources of tension in relationships - particularly African American relationships. The multifaceted aspects of high (and sometimes unrealistic) expectations, economics, education, chauvinistic attitudes, black male shortage, etc. combine to make the dating and mating situations even more tremulous and complex. The author examines and points out historical and current circumstances in African American culture that yields adults with voids and needs for emotional closeness. She proposes how popular societal messages often reinforce negative images and thoughts about marriage and commitment and goes a step further to cite how families, churches, academic institutions have failed black women and men in their efforts to make relationships work better.
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This book provides a wonderful historic perspective to the explanation of why black men and women have struggles in their relationships with each other. I saw myself throughout this book! It has provided answers to life-long questions I've had about repeated failed relationships. I now find myself quoting Audrey when I face relationship dilemmas. Thanks Audrey!!!
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Format: Paperback
Audrey describes what great communication is and how to achieve it in your relationship. I found this book to be very useful. It's a source that you may find yourself referring back to quite often. Good resource.
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