14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
on April 11, 2000
This survey of 100 women marrying after 40 highlights the perspectives of this particular age group on common marriage and relationship issues. Among the best features was the assurance given by the author and women surveyed that 40-plus women interested in marriage have the opportunity and can certainly afford to be choosy. Most interesting to me was that almost all of the women who married for the first time or after being single for a long time experienced some anxiety about sharing space and diminished independence. It was heartening to know that this concern, which I share in the abstract, is common and can be dealt with.
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
on April 13, 1999
Ever since a 1986 Newsweek article claimed that 40-year-old women have a better chance of being kidnapped by terrorists than finding a husband, many women in their 40s figures that they were fated for singlehood. If you're one of them, this book is here to tell you that's not so.
Rather than writing another "how to get your man" book, author Carmen Anthony put a different twist on that much maligned objec tive by offering some solid advice on the challenges one can fac e4 when marrying later in life.
She starts off with pep talks, telling single women to "get a live and then invite a man into it." And, because it's a vital step in the mating process, there's a chapter on where to find the buys, and quick reviews of the pros and cons of dating services, personals, the bar scene and other st6rategies for meeting men. But she also discusses the importance of being ready to marry, and offers ways to overcome the fears that prevent some women from taking the plunge.
Anthony, who married after the age of 40, doesn t do all the talking. She interv iewed 100 women who ranged in age fro m 40 to 73 when they married. They come from all walks of live and use their own personal stories to aqddress everything from coping with well-intentioned relatives to the b est ways to deal with finances and pre-nuptial agreements and how to successfully fold his and y our children into the picture.
And rather than leaving her readers at the altar, Anthony offers encouragement on the most important aspect of all: the first year of marriage. The women she interviewed struggled with admustment too, and their stories tell those who have been on their own what they can expect when they join their lives with another. Since they've been there, they know that carv ing out personal space, learning to live with, for example, different perceptions of c leanliness, and the age-old problem of communication between the sexes are just some of the road blocks newlyweds of all ages will encopunter.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
on April 18, 1999
Anyone getting married should read this book. Male or female, first, second, Young or old it doesn't matter, this book should be required reading. This book gives good inside into what to expect from marriage. The 1st person stories are great. There are so many things one never thinks of until its too late. This book points them out. For anyone getting married who is marrying someone with children this book is a must. I am giving copies to 3 different brides to be and 1 groom to be.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
on April 29, 1999
It's so good to read a book that makes me feel good about myself and my chances for finding a good man. There are lots of role models in this book, with lots of good advice on how to meet men and how to handle the special problems of mature relationships. If these women can find good men, so can I!!! The book is very uplifting.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
on April 9, 1999
This an insightful, feel-good book with lots of good advice. What I especially liked about it was that it is woman-to-woman, there's no psycho babble, no moralizing. It's the stories and opinions of 100 women and what they say has a strong ring of truth to it. Not only did I get a lot of good advice from these women on "how to get your man," but also what to do when you find Mr. Right. They talk about dealing with stepchildren, dating again, whether to sign a pre-nuptial, how to handle finances -- things that I wish I'd thought about the first time around. With this book, I'm learning from the mistakes of others and I'm getting the kind of advice I might get from an older sister. I love this book and am giving several as gifts. This is definitely a book every woman who's ever married or anticipates marriage should read -- it's good advice for any age (it wouldn't hurt men to read it either).
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
on April 16, 1999
I purchased this book because one of my friends is depicted in the "Marriage 100" then found myself really drawn to the other women's stories as well. This book is a rare find because of its first-hand, honest portrayal of truly mature relationships! These are women like myself who have "been there, done that" and learned a lot along the way. I found myself wishing that I could sit arouund in a big circle with some of these women, just talking and sharing our ideas about men, relationships, and what makes our lives fulfilling. The next best thing to doing that is reading this book and identifying with so many of the stories therein. I like Carmen Anthony's style, because she truly lets these women's voices be heard. It's a great blend of good reporting and upbeat, worthwhile advice on finding the right kind of man to marry. I have already given this book as gifts to two of my friends and plan to gift it to a few others when their birthdays roll around.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
on April 9, 1999
Anthony, a UPI reporter, was herself married for the second time after 40. She bases this quick-reading, feel-good collection of vignettes on questionnaires she sent to 100 women, all of whom married after 40 and sometimes much later, most ofter for the second or third time. She then followed up the questionnaire with personal interviews. We've read much of this advice before; what takes this book beyond the women's magazine columns is Anthony's questions. The answers reveal hard-earned wisdom on what to avoid and how to cope. The ten chapters cover getting back into circulation, first dates, children (his, yours and maybe ours), the first year, finances, trying not to get cold feet, and making it last. The advice is grouped by subject and the interviewed women speak in the first person; there is no psychological commentary and no analysis of what a woman did or should have done differently. Women will buy this book for their single friends and relatives.