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Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted Paperback – Bargain Price, January 7, 2010

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Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted + 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50, & Yes, 60! + The Winning Dating Formula For Women Over 50: 7 Steps To Attracting Quality Men
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. Known for her psychologically perceptive relationship books, Sills (Excess Baggage) turns her attention to dating for women of a certain age, particularly those recently out of long marriages. The author advises older women how to get back out there and how to contend with the anxiety that can ensue after a long period of celibacy. While Sills addresses the ugly truths that older women have to work harder than men to find eligible partners, she argues that courtship, companionship and sex are all available, especially if women remain open to a wide variety of partners who are not necessarily prospects for love. They are practice, stimulation, and possibly even pleasant company. Sills's clinical psychology background comes to the fore when she dissects the scenario of a suddenly single woman who has been used to socializing with a group of couples but now may be perceived as a threat by other women, or an opportunity by the men, suggesting behavioral strategies for keeping boundaries clear. Sills also addresses transitional relationships, the heartbreak of rejection or of premature attachment to a new partner and includes welcome male perspectives. (Feb.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"Known for her psychologically perceptive relationship books, Sills turns her attention to dating for women of a certain age, particularly those recently out of long marriages... [her] clinical psychology background comes to the fore." -Publisher's Weekly (starred review)

"I love the honesty, compassion and useable common sense that Sills gives out on every page. Finally, a smart dating manual for adults!" -Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of PRIME
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Grand Central Life & Style; 1 Reprint edition (January 7, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0446551805
  • ASIN: B004IK9E1Y
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (46 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #111,445 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

45 of 46 people found the following review helpful By Fuji VINE VOICE on February 28, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
So, here I am. Forty years old and fresh out of a 19 year long marriage. On one hand, I'm tempted to give up, grab my dog and retreat to singlehood forever. But, for some reason, I can't. Even though I'm shy and reclusive, I feel the need for a significant other in my life.

I tried online dating for a few months and was beset by weirdos and creeps. Is there something wrong with me that I only attract losers? I finally broke down and bought a couple of dating books. Let me first say that I loathe the concept of self-help and pop psychology. I think of myself as a unique and special snowflake and none of that drivel applies to my perfect, unique self, right?! Wrong.

This book doesn't exactly say anything you don't already know, but it presents it in a clear way. For me, it helped crystallize my intent, and offered consolation that other women have walked this path and emerged happy. She also points out certain pitfalls that might be unique to older women. For example, how does your relationship with all the other men in your life change once you become single? I hadn't exactly thought about that, but suddenly realized why some of my long standing male friends and co-workers seem a little less at ease around me. They're not quite 'buddies' anymore.

After reading it, I'm determined to go on more dates with men that I may have unfairly rejected for petty reasons. Yes, I have rejected men on the basis of poor spelling. I'm determined that the next guy doesn't have to be the one and only. He can be a pleasant evening and nothing more. I've reconsidered that it might be okay to become physically intimate with someone I don't intend to spend the rest of my life with.

Most of all, I really enjoyed the author's writing style and witty asides.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By V.L. on February 16, 2011
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WOW! Nicely done. Getting Naked Again is not just about the fear we have of "getting naked again", it's so much more. It is for the divorcee, the widow/widower, the gay man who can't seem to find the right guy, the forever single woman who can't seem to find the right guy. It reads for all of us who want love and are seemingly searching in the wrong places, or not searching at all. I don't normally order a book like this, but I was feeling desperate. I'm so glad I did! I'm sending it to my ever beautiful, high maintenance friend, who just became single, and to my gay guy friend who is so handsome, yet believes that he is destined to live life alone. I am also sending it to my beautiful friend whose husband passed away unexpectedly last fall. This book is good for our lonely souls. This book has a great amount of depth. Getting Naked Again keeps you interested with the dialog and is filled with so much more than I ever expected. It is written professionally and from the heart.
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20 of 25 people found the following review helpful By Steven Rossellini on May 25, 2010
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As a 65-year-old widower who hasn't been on a date since 1977, I know I've probably got a bit of brushing up to do, when it comes to dating. While "Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted" hasn't been a literal dating how-to, it does let you know that you're sharing the same boat of fears and apprehensions with the women you may be dating. Frankly, I think the author wrote with a greater direction to those in their 30s, 40s, and perhaps, early 50s. Those of us in our 60s and beyond have many other issues, with which we deal, when dating, romance, and sex re-enter our lives. With adult children and grandchildren, estate issues inevitably come into play when selecting a new partner. You worry more about being stripped financially naked than getting naked for senior sex(whatever that is.) And, one cannot discount issues of health that inevitably come into play when seeking out a future companion. I'd like someone to tell me what you do when you think you've met the next partner of your dreams and discover that they're taking multiple medications every day. Or, when you begin a relationship and the "prospect" can't seem to stop talking about their ex or late spouse.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By pssssssssss on October 17, 2010
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I talked to many people I knew about various chapters of this book. When I told them the title, they were a bit skeptical. It does cover physical intimacy but it is much, much more about being vulnerable and re-aquiring an attitude of hope when it comes to relationships.

Some of the ideas were familiar to me but was explained in a more in-depth complete way than other books. It is easy to read, thought-provoking and very useful. I passed it on yesterday to my mom to read since she lost her husband last year.
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11 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Trisha on October 16, 2009
Format: Hardcover
A practical guide to dating after loss for older women. I probably wouldn't recommend it to anyone under 40, as it seems aimed at women who are middle-aged or older. Many of the situations and most of the advice wouldn't apply to younger women who divorced or were widowed early on. But very practical advice and sensitive to your situation!
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By L. Davis on January 24, 2013
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Why read a book that talks about the ways we've become single for the first 100 pages? We already know how it happened, we need to know what to do about it, where to meet people, how to keep smiling - something positive. This is a waste of money, full of the obvious. The only positive is the title.
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