Customer Reviews

Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted

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So, here I am. Forty years old and fresh out of a 19 year long marriage. On one hand, I'm tempted to give up, grab my dog and retreat to singlehood forever. But, for some reason, I can't. Even though I'm shy and reclusive, I feel the need for a significant other in my life.

I tried online dating for a few months and was beset by weirdos and creeps. Is there something wrong with me that I only attract losers? I finally broke down and bought a couple of dating books. Let me first say that I loathe the concept of self-help and pop psychology. I think of myself as a unique and special snowflake and none of that drivel applies to my perfect, unique self, right?! Wrong.

This book doesn't exactly say anything you don't already know, but it presents it in a clear way. For me, it helped crystallize my intent, and offered consolation that other women have walked this path and emerged happy. She also points out certain pitfalls that might be unique to older women. For example, how does your relationship with all the other men in your life change once you become single? I hadn't exactly thought about that, but suddenly realized why some of my long standing male friends and co-workers seem a little less at ease around me. They're not quite 'buddies' anymore.

After reading it, I'm determined to go on more dates with men that I may have unfairly rejected for petty reasons. Yes, I have rejected men on the basis of poor spelling. I'm determined that the next guy doesn't have to be the one and only. He can be a pleasant evening and nothing more. I've reconsidered that it might be okay to become physically intimate with someone I don't intend to spend the rest of my life with.

Most of all, I really enjoyed the author's writing style and witty asides. I will definitely read more of her books. Lastly, can I point out that she has coined one of the most delightful phrases I've ever come across? "Fretful salsa of age". I just love it. I'm so glad this was the first dating advice book I read. Check out my other reviews for the flip side of the coin.

A practical guide to dating after loss for older women. I probably wouldn't recommend it to anyone under 40, as it seems aimed at women who are middle-aged or older. Many of the situations and most of the advice wouldn't apply to younger women who divorced or were widowed early on. But very practical advice and sensitive to your situation!

As a 65-year-old widower who hasn't been on a date since 1977, I know I've probably got a bit of brushing up to do, when it comes to dating. While "Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted" hasn't been a literal dating how-to, it does let you know that you're sharing the same boat of fears and apprehensions with the women you may be dating. Frankly, I think the author wrote with a greater direction to those in their 30s, 40s, and perhaps, early 50s. Those of us in our 60s and beyond have many other issues, with which we deal, when dating, romance, and sex re-enter our lives. With adult children and grandchildren, estate issues inevitably come into play when selecting a new partner. You worry more about being stripped financially naked than getting naked for senior sex(whatever that is.) And, one cannot discount issues of health that inevitably come into play when seeking out a future companion. I'd like someone to tell me what you do when you think you've met the next partner of your dreams and discover that they're taking multiple medications every day. Or, when you begin a relationship and the "prospect" can't seem to stop talking about their ex or late spouse.

I am a widow who still has many (good) years ahead of her. I also have several friends in the same position - suddenly single again after a long term relationship/marriage. I gave this book as a Valentine gift to myself and my friends. It is time to re-learn what used to come naturally! It has been quite successful so far!

If you're getting into the dating/ romance/ sex/ love world again after being out of it for a long time, this is absolutely the book you need to read.

Author Judith Sills, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and author of several psychology books, writes for women in a warm, pull-no-punches style and zooms in on those issues that concern - or should I say, obsess? - us when we're considering reentering the dating game and becoming naked physically and emotionally again. It's a a modern, how-to book about dating again, and it's also a guide to preparing yourself to make that transition.

Joan Price, author Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty

WOW! Nicely done. Getting Naked Again is not just about the fear we have of "getting naked again", it's so much more. It is for the divorcee, the widow/widower, the gay man who can't seem to find the right guy, the forever single woman who can't seem to find the right guy. It reads for all of us who want love and are seemingly searching in the wrong places, or not searching at all. I don't normally order a book like this, but I was feeling desperate. I'm so glad I did! I'm sending it to my ever beautiful, high maintenance friend, who just became single, and to my gay guy friend who is so handsome, yet believes that he is destined to live life alone. I am also sending it to my beautiful friend whose husband passed away unexpectedly last fall. This book is good for our lonely souls. This book has a great amount of depth. Getting Naked Again keeps you interested with the dialog and is filled with so much more than I ever expected. It is written professionally and from the heart.

I talked to many people I knew about various chapters of this book. When I told them the title, they were a bit skeptical. It does cover physical intimacy but it is much, much more about being vulnerable and re-aquiring an attitude of hope when it comes to relationships.

Some of the ideas were familiar to me but was explained in a more in-depth complete way than other books. It is easy to read, thought-provoking and very useful. I passed it on yesterday to my mom to read since she lost her husband last year.

Unbelievably great book. Love it. recommend it to anyone [single women in their late 40s and 50s.

I am only midway through Getting Naked Again and can see that I have a wealth of new information coming my way in the smart, chatty and friendly style that is signature Judith Sills. Connecting in a romantic way with the opposite sex takes a set of skills that we all need to polish over and over no matter what our situation, and Dr. Sills dishes up all the ingredients using the example of real life experiences. You can find yourself in this book... where you are, where you have been, or where you are headed.---jrg

If you ever wonder about the growing numbers of Baby Boomer Singles and how you happened to become one of them, read this book and you won't feel so stymied, nor alone. Lots of helpful insights and suggestions to consider when thinking about being BACK in the world as a single person after so many years as part of a "couple". Some helpful suggestions and plenty of humor. Even if you have no desire to bother with the opposite sex in any manner other than buddies, it is still helpful for understanding the ABCs of today's relationship minefields.