Customer Reviews

Getting Off the Niceness Treadmill

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Carol Noren Johnson has learned that being nice is not always the equivalent of being godly. She says, "Now I dare to care not whether my giving is recognized or even outstanding. Why have I needed that glory! Off the treadmill! I surrender to the Lord and His glory" (p.64).

This book helped me to take a careful look at my motivation for the "good works" I perform on behalf of others.

Where is the voice of nice people? Too seldom are they able to speak up for themselves or articulate what they are really feeling. Getting off the Niceness Treadmill is a thoughtful collection of memoirs that both exposes and illuminates the inner voice of the nice person. I enjoyed reading the reflections of the lessons learned in Carol's relationships with others and the humor she brought to these stories! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your heart in both how your motives were impure and how you have matured to offer others a gift out of your pain.

This book was recommended to me since I often found myself in situations where I was being taken advantage of. I had this notion that to be a christian I just had to suffer the wrongs that others caused me and that I shouldn't stand up for myself. As a result, I found myself becoming a pushover and was often hurt by both unbelievers as well as christians within the church. The author does a good job of showing that biblical kindness does not mean that as Christians we should be trampled upon. She uses both Scripture and her past experiences to demonstrate what true kindness looks like and that we can and should stand up for ourselves at certain times. She includes many touching stories and situations that anyone can relate to. If you are someone that finds yourself being taken advantage of, and often feel the need to be "nice", I would highly recommend this insightful book for more wisdom!

The author reveals how her past approach of niceness has gotten her into trouble. Throughout,she shares her story and experiences, making an interesting read. She looks to Scripture to find the true meaning and purpose of being nice, and how to discern when is the right time to exercise being nice. I enjoyed reading it over my Thanksgiving vacation.

AVAILABLE IN DECEMBER 2009



Whether you are a people pleaser or just know someone who is, Carol's book will strike a chord with every reader. Women especially identify with the need to be affirmed and feel needed. What we find in these pages is the real life story of a "nice" person who discovered that being nice does not fulfill your needs nor satisfy the soul. Often all it does is bring greater longing and a feeling of being used. Carol, like many of us, thought she could please God and other people but she learned that the affirmation she craved and contentment came only with her surrender to Christ and laying down all before Him.

I live in Queensland, Australia and Carol in Florida. We "met" on a Christian Forum. On the Internet I am known as Ruby and Carol as NewKidontheBlogg. We are part of this new phenomena of Internet relationships through social media. Though our life paths have been very different, we share a love for the Lord and a desire to grow in grace. Some months ago Carol read a post where I wrote, "Sometimes I look too much to the affirmation of those around me instead of looking to the Lord. I need to never become bitter and twisted, nor loose the desire to be a quiet witness for our Lord. But I need to toughen up, be inwardly strong, while maintaining that tenderness." It was those words on my blog that started a dialogue with Carol while she worked on this book. We had many similar thoughts. We have very different experiences, but she opened up her life to me in ways that I could relate to. We both want to grow closer to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ and to live lives pleasing to him. As iron sharpens iron, so does a friend--even a friend whom I have never met in person.

As you read Getting Off the Niceness Treadmill, Carol's story will encourage you to look at the motivations in your life and to do all to the glory of God. "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10

Julie Giovannini
Queensland, Australia

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FROM THE PREFACE

"I don't want to be nice anymore," I announced to my husband September 2, 2007. I was hurting.

My husband was stunned."I like you nice!" he said. "Why would you stop being nice?"

This book is not a women's liberation divorce book. It is however, a life reflection and a journey of what I have discovered about the perils of being nice. Giving is not always wise, but there is a place for giving and an attitude that needs to accompany it.

Niceness is not the same as biblical kindness. Niceness can be an ego need, or in my case, a habit from early training. Nice is a word that can mean "fine" as in "what a nice job you did." Used in this way it is not especially descriptive. But nice also has the connotation of agreeable, a doormat, easy to manipulate; this meaning is the meaning used in this book.

Niceness can be addicting like alcohol can be. We nice people need to be so loved and admired, we think, that we rack up brownie points by being nice. But it is ourselves who are the needy ones, not others we think we are helping.

When we decide to get off the niceness treadmill, people who once used us or depended upon us don't understand us. Our niceness was predictable and we have become unpredictable. We practice new ways of speaking and thinking. We are honest. It is with conscious effort that we take ourselves off of that treadmill.

The treadmill of my niceness came to a halt. The temptation to be nice is still there. However, I desire to be godly and grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord above all. Join me in my journey.

Carol Noren Johnson,author
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