Customer Reviews

Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On -- Together or Apart

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I highly recommend this book for anyone trying to live through infidelity. I have read several books and this one had so much helpful information. It was written in a way that didn't attack the participating party or the injured party but gave good information for all parties involved. Unfortunately my spouse chose not to read the book with me but reading it really helped me to understand and validate what I was going through. If you are faced with the heartbreak of infidelty this is a must read book. If you don't read anything else, read this.

I am a marriage and family therapist who only works with couples. Many of these couples come with either a current or past affair as a problem. Until this book came out, I recommended Not Just Friends, by Shirley Glass. While that is an excellent book, this book is even better. The chapters are crystal clear and specific. Each person is assigned a task in the healing. General principles are stated as frameworks so that each person has a mindset to go by. I will be recommending this book to all couples who come with this problem.
Michael T. Clifford LMFT Everett WA Certified Gottman therapist, Certified Emotion Focused Therapist

This is a great book for both partners in the damaged marriage. It uses non-offensive terms to refer to each of the involved parties. It provides very good strategies and examples for coping with the initial stages after the affair is discovered, as well as for working on repairing the marital relationship. It is particularly helpful with suggesting ways for each individual as well as the couple to reflect on why the affair occurred, to deal with emotional reactions, and to communicate with each other going forward. I have read several books, and this is one of the top two or three.

This book is very 'real'! Not so clinical like many others and helps with both parties to heal together. I bought three books and I find this one the best so far.

Save your marriage and your money! Our counselor gave us this book to read after disclosure of my husband's 3 year affair with a married girl with a baby who is 20 years younger than us. This book set our recovery back....WAY back. It gave my husband excuses to not look at his own behavior but rather pick apart our 19 year marriage and how our "marriage" became vunerable, instead of how HE became vunerable, or screwed up in the head.(Can we say typical mid-life crisis?) I quote from a section titled "A Special Message to the Participating Partner" (ie. the cheater), page 236. "Was the Affair My Fault?" If we haven't made this clear yet, the answer is an unqualified no." Uh, hello??? HE is the one who dropped his pants!!! This book increased my anger and made it harder to get started on the road to healing. If you are trying to save your marriage after adulery, DO NOT BUY, READ, or REFERENCE this book!!!

A MUCH better book is "Not Just Friends: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity" by Shirley Glass. I wish we had read this one first, an NEVER read "Getting Past the Affair".

A good book for moving forward in your life. Has exercises to do together. Others who have reviewed this book have said it almost seems like it lets the person who had the affair "off the hook". I have to disagree. It has you calmly and rationally look at your relationship and evaluate it. If you find that what your spouse did is unforgiveable, then fine, but you still will eventually have to move forward from there. This book will help you do that in a healthy way you can live with. And if you ARE able to forgive and move on, it'll help you do that in a healthy way as well. In no way does this book ever tell you what to do. It gives you information and tools that you choose to implement in your life, or choose not to.

I did find this book helpful. However if you are ever a victim of an affair. No book is going to cure it. It is full of information that can help you when you need to feel understand about your own feelings. As far as coping and healing goes. I will never forget it. It is your partners responsibility to earn back the trust. Unless your partner is giving all they can to fix what THEY destroyed. This book is only for you and you alone. Use it for yourself and move on!!!

As I read through this book, I felt like I wasn't alone. The examples and exercises really helped my partner and I deal with what happened and what I was experiencing as a result.

a must read for anyone who is dealing with the hurt and pain associated with an affair.

It was a good book for people who are going though betrayal. It did give a lot of good information.