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Getting Past Your Breakup [Kindle Edition]

Susan J. Elliott
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (265 customer reviews)

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Kindle Price: $8.52
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Book Description

It’s over—and it really hurts. But as unbelievable as it may seem when you are in the throes of heartache, you can move past your breakup. Forget about trying to win your ex back. Forget about losing yourself and trying to make this person love you. Forget it! Starting today, this breakup is the best time to change your life for the better, inside and out. Getting Past Your Breakup is a proven roadmap for overcoming the painful end of any romantic relationship, even divorce. Through her workshops and popular blog, Susan Elliott has helped thousands of clients and readers transform their love lives. Now, she’ll help you put your energy back where it belongs—on you.


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

An estimated 43 percent of marriages in the U.S. end in separation or divorce, a grim reminder that most all of us experiences at least one painful breakup in our lifetimes; speaker and certified grief therapist Elliot has come to understand that many aren't successful in overcoming that pain, which can stall anyone's personal and professional life indefinitely. Using her personal experience and stories from her practice, Elliott provides sound advice for those still driving by the ex's house or obsessed with self-blame. She advises a cold-turkey, "No Contact" blanket rule, but doesn't ignore the reality of situations involving mutual friends or a shared workplace, and provides seven rules for making things easier on the kids. As the end of a relationship can be much like the death of a loved one, Elliott also reviews the grief process and its importance in processing loss. While working through grief and putting time into serious self-examination won't necessarily "transform your life into everything you've always wanted it to be," the payoff should be steady progress toward a mended heart, a clear conscience and a stronger sense of self.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

Curled Up with a Good Book
“Elliott delivers the goods with a book that can help anyone get past a broken heart, and be stronger for it…The book provides solid, usable information told with compassionate understanding that really jumpstarts a heart that is on standby…The tools are priceless, and the inspiration to come out on top is what really makes this book stand out in the ocean of other self-help titles out there.”

ForeWord This Week, 4/22/09
“Each of the book's steps has been thoughtfully developed from the author's personal experience and her training and experience as a grief counselor.”

Bookviews, 6/09
“This book identifies the frequent mistakes people make during the early days of a breakup and explains how to avoid them. [Elliott] shows how to use the pain to grow, reassess your goals, and create a healthier life.”

Publisher’s Weekly, 6/8/09
“Provides sound advice for those still driving by the ex’s house or obsessed with self-blame.”

InfoDad.com
“Tell[s] people who have suffered relationship devastation how to get through the stages of grief associated with romantic implosion-and how to pick themselves up afterwards and come out of their distress better than they ever were before…Elliott’s comments on the stages of grief, although scarcely new, can be helpful to just about anyone who feels devastated by the end of an intimate relationship.”

Midwest Book Review, June 2009
“An effective book any general lending library will find popular.”

Midwest Book Review, June 2009
“A recommended read for those looking for more reasons to embrace better health.”

About.com, “Top Breakup Books,” 1/1/10
“An excellent breakup book that assists not only in dealing with the shock of a relationship ending, but also how to move past the breakup to become a stronger, better person in spite/because of it. Topics such as dealing with breakup myths (“I need closure!”) and boundaries (how do I not get into this situation ever again) are refreshing and well-suited to the tone and style. Highly recommended.”

About.com, 1/1/10
“A well thought out and surprisingly thorough book about dealing with a breakup…With chapters on learning new boundaries and how to tell the kids, Elliot has covered topics that most books of this genre ignore outright. Chapter 2, The Rules of Disengagement, are a must-read for anyone who has ever suffered a bad breakup, particularly the list of items that keep folks stuck in their grief—most notably the concept of needing closure after a failed relationship…Well written and thorough. Practical how-to’s in every chapter. Warm and friendly tone that never comes across as condescending or judgmental.”

YourTango.com, “Top 5 Breakup Books of 2009,” 1/1/10
“This practical book offers useful tips about how to get through the depressing post-breakup stages of loneliness and desolation. If you can't afford a therapist, this useful tome will help you take charge of your life instead of giving way to grief.”

Midwest Book Review, August 2010
“What sets this book apart from other self help titles is the fact that the author has suffered the same type of heartache…If you are getting over a failed marriage, or a breakup of a relationship, then this is the must have book that will get you past your pain and suffering…[It] offers hope to those who are suffering. It will show you how to change a life altering experience into something that will change your life for the better.”
 
Kansas City Star, 9/29/10
“If you’re in recovery from a relationship that ended… read this book.”

“Bookworm Sez”
“From the devastation that comes at the end of a relationship, through the reeling, dealing and healing, Elliott worms her way around all aspects of a broken heart…Getting Past Your Breakup will help you see a crystal-bright future.”


Product Details

  • File Size: 359 KB
  • Print Length: 266 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: B008GAZ36W
  • Publisher: Da Capo Press (May 4, 2009)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0026A6C4U
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #51,670 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
183 of 188 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Life Saver May 2, 2009
Format:Paperback
Every once in a long while, a person comes along who touches your life in such a profound way that you almost can't believe it.

For me, that person is Susan Elliott.

I stumbled upon her blog when I was at an all-time low in my life, having just undergone a heart-wrenching breakup that turned my world upside down and inside out. How could I allow someone to treat me so horribly in the name of love? Why didn't I recognize that I was being exploited? What was so damaged in me that I chose such a narcissistic mental case?

Susan's blog shed light on all of these questions and set me on a long journey toward becoming the person I was meant to be. My life is far better now than I ever could have imagined, spanning all areas, and she is in large part to thank.

This is not just a book about how to overcome your breakup -- it provides the resources to heal from your damaged past, recognize that you deserve better in life, learn to listen to and trust your instincts, and find real happiness. There's no hocus pocus here -- it's a smart book that executes key elements of cognitive psychology.

Simply put, this book is a life saver. Read it, apply it and be forever changed.
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91 of 97 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The first step to your healing June 8, 2009
By Annae
Format:Paperback
Like some of the others, I found Susan Elliott's Getting Past Your Past blog when I was struggling after a major heartbreak. Without any doubt, the website, and subsequently this book have done more for my healing than any other resources I have come across.

It is practical help, written with the compassion of someone who has gone through it, to guide you through those darkest hours and beyond. Like the best kind of friend, who is there for you even when you are not there for yourself, one who tells you the truth even when you don't want to hear it, her no-nonsense approach to both understanding where you are and guiding you with how to deal with it, is invaluable. There is no fluff here. Heart break and betrayal are soul destroying and the grieving and the healing processes need to be honoured.

Ms. Elliott provides the tools you need when you are in no place to think for yourself, the tools you need to get your life and yourself back, and the tools you need to navigate a better, more beautiful future for yourself when the time is right. And in the end she leaves you to spread your own wings and fly again - the best kind of teacher. She is an awesome woman, and this is an awesome book.

I will never let go of this one. I want it on my bookshelf, just in case. Not that I'm expecting ever to be in that space again. I can honestly say since coming across Susan Elliott's work I have become stronger, clearer, got back into my own life, and taken complete responsibility for my healing. And although I may suffer heartbreak again, I will not lose myself in the process.

I've not written a review before, but I can honestly say this helped me get through this like nothing else. Actually... not just get through it, I'm learning to thrive and really live my life. So, if you're going through a heartbreak, or know someone who is, get this. And go visit her blog. All the best to you.
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43 of 48 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Getting Past Your Breakup April 28, 2009
Format:Paperback
What I really liked about this book is it really is a guidebook to getting better. It's a very easy read with clearly written steps to take. So many self-help books are just a mish-mash of analysis, but this one is so much more practical than that. Also, I found that I could (unfortunately) relate to some of the personal stories, which helps me to want to apply the "tools" in this book.
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48 of 55 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing October 20, 2010
By hsw
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
About a year ago, I went through a horrible breakup with my partner of nearly five years, and best friend for ten. I turned to books about breakups to help me through a time I didn't know how I was going to survive. I purchased about 8 books, and this one was far and beyond the best-- absolutely no comparison. This is the only one of the 8 that I have underlined, highlighted, and still read, even after the grief has passed. In fact, this book is sitting right in the front spot on my shelf right now.

The reason why this book is still so valuable to me is that it is more than a breakup book, it is a book about how to live your life as a happy and complete person. The book offers not only ways to get past your breakup, but ways to build your confidence, be happy single, and be happy in a relationship. The chapter on setting boundaries has been invaluable to me.

Another reason why I strongly, strongly recommend this book is that there is a companion website, created and maintained by the author, Susan Elliott. The website, gettingpastyourpast.com, is a great community of people and Susan writes amazing posts that expand on the concepts in the book. I can truly not express how much the website and book have helped me in the past year.

As a final note, another reason I appreciate this book is that it is appropriate for any gender, any age, and any sexuality. Susan is careful not to use heteronormative or gender specific language, and I really appreciate that. The book also takes into account that the readers may be at very different points in their lives-- from in college, to having kids, to beyond.

In conclusion, I can't recommend this book enough!
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35 of 40 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Best break-up book available. Period. February 25, 2010
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Among dozens of the break-up books I have read, this one is by far the best. The thing I like about the book is its combination of various scientific techniques under the covers to help you heal properly. There are a lot of books out there which focus only on the future, they try to make you forget and move on as soon as possible, without much introspection for yourself and for your past. This book is different. It places an emphasis on introspection and self-awareness, yet it isn't a solely theoretical psych workbook. It emphasizes balance in your life. It attempts to teach you that you will be fine no matter what as long as you have a great relationship with yourself. This book focuses on fixing the foundation (the concept of core-self) instead of trying to alleviate the symptoms, yet gives practical advice when it is time to go out and meet people. It has proved to be a great value in my recovery and I highly recommend it.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars This is really the best book for healing and moving on after what was...
This is really the best book for healing and moving on after what was a horrific breakup! The work that needs to be done isn't easy but well worth every step...!! Read more
Published 1 day ago by Jonna O
5.0 out of 5 stars A Good Read
Reading this book helped as I was going through a rough time. Getting divorced after 27 years together was heart-breaking but this book seemed to help quite a bit. Read more
Published 3 days ago by Kim
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
This book was absolutely life changing.
Published 4 days ago by Misha
4.0 out of 5 stars dealing with divorce
Very helpful in dealing with grief and letting go. Good exercises to work through. Makes you do some self reflection.
Published 5 days ago by Chantel A Thom
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Good resource
Published 6 days ago by Debbie
5.0 out of 5 stars If you are hurting from a breakup, this book can help
I went through a breakup of a relationship of over 15 years recently. This book has been extremely helpful in helping me see what I have been doing right in the breakup and... Read more
Published 13 days ago by IntrepidAdventurer
5.0 out of 5 stars I love it and very fast delivery
Thanks so much!!! I love it and very fast delivery!!!!
Published 18 days ago by Renee S. Taylor
5.0 out of 5 stars I felt better as soon as I stated reading this book. it helps me...
The book to help you recover from breakup for yourself not to get back to your ex. It helps you understand and move on. I feel better after reading the first few pages. Read more
Published 28 days ago by Tiffany
4.0 out of 5 stars very insightful and it defiantly helped
very insightful and it defiantly helped
Published 1 month ago by spider
5.0 out of 5 stars This is a great book and has been very helpful to me
This is a great book and has been very helpful to me. I ordered mine on Kindle and just recently purchased a book for a friend.
Published 1 month ago by isisharley
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