Getting Past No: Negotiating with Difficult People [Paperback]

Roger Fisher (Author), William Ury (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1991

This book provides a step-by-step method for negotiation that aims to ensure that satisfactory agreement is reached with even the most intransigent people. The author also co-wrote "Getting Past Yes".

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Cofounder of a Harvard Law School program on negotiation, Ury presents a five-step agenda to deal successfully with opponents, be they unruly teenagers, labor leaders, terrorists or international politicians. Strategies focus on self-discipline, or tactics for defusing the adversary's attacks, and suggestions for developing options designed to lead to a mutually satisfactory agreement. Defining negotiations as "the art of letting the other person have your way," Ury, coauthor of Getting to Yes , stresses the need to understand the other's character and motivation. With examples--including Iacocca and the Chrysler Corporation vs. Congress--he shows the advantages of curbing reactions and stepping back to restore perspective. The author's imaginative and persuasive reasoning, communicated to the "opponent" reader, serves in itself to validate his theories.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Inside Flap

Dr. William L. Ury shows listeners how to overcome serious obstacles to negotiation. Whether dealing with an unruly teenager or an office bully, Dr. Ury's method will help listeners gain control in even the most difficult situations. Most importantly, GETTING PAST NO gets results. --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 161 pages
• Publisher: Business Books; 1st edition (September 1991)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0712653279
• ISBN-13: 978-0712653275
• Product Dimensions: 7.7 x 5 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,114,033 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

William Ury is the co--founder of Harvard's Program on Negotiation, where he directs the Project on Preventing War. One of the world's leading negotiation specialists, his past clients include dozens of Fortune 500 companies as well as the White House and Pentagon. Ury received his B.A. from Yale and a Ph.D. in Anthropology from Harvard. His books Getting to YES and Getting Past No have sold more than five million copies worldwide.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Its not tips.. its a technique that has to be worked out, June 13, 2006

By 

Humberto Mejia "Still alive and kicking" (Perth, Australia) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Getting Past No: Negotiating with Difficult People (Audio CD)

My profile: 42 yo, sales engineer.

I find this audiobook a constant refernce in my travel pack. As a sales engineer on the road I keep resorting to the techniques of this book to find the break-through awakening in the negotiation process.

This approach is not ivory-towered inspirired, its based on very concrete situations and it calls for leaderhip qualities that are assumed by default since you are your own worst enemy.

I find this audiobook more complete than getting to yes and a complement to it. negotiation is not a subject just to be left to one tool or aproach, I encourage anyone inetrested in the theme to spice-it-up with other tip observing book such as Herb Cohen's.

Be prepared to study and use a powerful technique.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars geeting past no, June 22, 2009

By 

Arthur B. Aten - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Getting Past No: Negotiating with Difficult People (Audio CD)

Shorter than i thought it would be but has great information. to get the most you need to also read getting to yes first.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Negotiating with difficult people.....5 straightforward steps, May 17, 2011

By 

Caufrier Frederic (Belgium) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Getting Past No: Negotiating with Difficult People (Paperback)

William Ury wrote here an excellent sequel on the bestseller "Getting to Yes" and expands hereby the negotiation tools set to be more equipped towards dealing with the difficult person in a negotiaton (or situation).

The book follows 5 steps. It covers basic communication styles to diffuse the situation and elements to boost your BATNA (your best alternative) overall. The content list of his book gives already some ideas of this approach. The book covers these 5 steps in a schematic way, by being brief and very much to the point. Compact written and easy to assimilate.

William Ury does also give the course "Dealing with Difficult People and Difficult Situations" at the Program on Negotiation (PON) at Harvard Law School. This course follows also these 5 steps as illustrated here in this book. He is certainly a highly experienced and empathic speaker. He is a great person to come across and therefore I am not surprised he wrote a excellent book like this.

I certainly highly recommend his book, his negotiation course, as well as William Ury as public speaker/trainer.

Content:

Overview: Negotiating with difficult people

Step 1: Go to the balcony (Don't react)

- Keep your eyes on the prize

o Identify your interests

o Identify your BATNA

o Decide if your should negotiate

o Stay focused on your goal

- Name the game

- Buy time to think

o Pause and say nothing

o Rewind the tape

o Take a time-out

o Don't make important decisions on the spot

Step 2: Step to their side (Disarm them)

- Listen actively

o Give your opponent a hearing

o Paraphrase and ask for corrections

- Acknowledge the point & the person

o Acknowledge your opponent's feelings

o Offer an apology

- Agree wherever you can

o Agree without conceding

o Accumulate Yeses

o Tune in to your opponent's wavelength

- Acknowledge the person

o Acknowledge his authority and competence

- Express your views without provoking

o Don't say BUT, say YES...AND

o Make I statements, not you-statements

o Step up for yourself

o Acknowledge your differences with optimism

Step 3: Don't reject....reframe (Change the game)

Step 4: Build them a golden bridge (Make it easy to say YES)

Step 5: Educate, don't escalate (Make it easy to say NO)

Conclusion: Turning adversaries into partners

Analytical table of contents