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179 of 183 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Life Saver
Every once in a long while, a person comes along who touches your life in such a profound way that you almost can't believe it.

For me, that person is Susan Elliott.

I stumbled upon her blog when I was at an all-time low in my life, having just undergone a heart-wrenching breakup that turned my world upside down and inside out. How could I allow...
Published on May 2, 2009 by Moving On

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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars not for those leaving...
This is written for someone who was blindsided - if you are the one leaving - not much help here!
Published 5 months ago by Bernie Bryant


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179 of 183 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Life Saver, May 2, 2009
This review is from: Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You (Paperback)
Every once in a long while, a person comes along who touches your life in such a profound way that you almost can't believe it.

For me, that person is Susan Elliott.

I stumbled upon her blog when I was at an all-time low in my life, having just undergone a heart-wrenching breakup that turned my world upside down and inside out. How could I allow someone to treat me so horribly in the name of love? Why didn't I recognize that I was being exploited? What was so damaged in me that I chose such a narcissistic mental case?

Susan's blog shed light on all of these questions and set me on a long journey toward becoming the person I was meant to be. My life is far better now than I ever could have imagined, spanning all areas, and she is in large part to thank.

This is not just a book about how to overcome your breakup -- it provides the resources to heal from your damaged past, recognize that you deserve better in life, learn to listen to and trust your instincts, and find real happiness. There's no hocus pocus here -- it's a smart book that executes key elements of cognitive psychology.

Simply put, this book is a life saver. Read it, apply it and be forever changed.
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90 of 95 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The first step to your healing, June 8, 2009
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This review is from: Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You (Paperback)
Like some of the others, I found Susan Elliott's Getting Past Your Past blog when I was struggling after a major heartbreak. Without any doubt, the website, and subsequently this book have done more for my healing than any other resources I have come across.

It is practical help, written with the compassion of someone who has gone through it, to guide you through those darkest hours and beyond. Like the best kind of friend, who is there for you even when you are not there for yourself, one who tells you the truth even when you don't want to hear it, her no-nonsense approach to both understanding where you are and guiding you with how to deal with it, is invaluable. There is no fluff here. Heart break and betrayal are soul destroying and the grieving and the healing processes need to be honoured.

Ms. Elliott provides the tools you need when you are in no place to think for yourself, the tools you need to get your life and yourself back, and the tools you need to navigate a better, more beautiful future for yourself when the time is right. And in the end she leaves you to spread your own wings and fly again - the best kind of teacher. She is an awesome woman, and this is an awesome book.

I will never let go of this one. I want it on my bookshelf, just in case. Not that I'm expecting ever to be in that space again. I can honestly say since coming across Susan Elliott's work I have become stronger, clearer, got back into my own life, and taken complete responsibility for my healing. And although I may suffer heartbreak again, I will not lose myself in the process.

I've not written a review before, but I can honestly say this helped me get through this like nothing else. Actually... not just get through it, I'm learning to thrive and really live my life. So, if you're going through a heartbreak, or know someone who is, get this. And go visit her blog. All the best to you.
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48 of 54 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing, October 20, 2010
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This review is from: Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You (Paperback)
About a year ago, I went through a horrible breakup with my partner of nearly five years, and best friend for ten. I turned to books about breakups to help me through a time I didn't know how I was going to survive. I purchased about 8 books, and this one was far and beyond the best-- absolutely no comparison. This is the only one of the 8 that I have underlined, highlighted, and still read, even after the grief has passed. In fact, this book is sitting right in the front spot on my shelf right now.

The reason why this book is still so valuable to me is that it is more than a breakup book, it is a book about how to live your life as a happy and complete person. The book offers not only ways to get past your breakup, but ways to build your confidence, be happy single, and be happy in a relationship. The chapter on setting boundaries has been invaluable to me.

Another reason why I strongly, strongly recommend this book is that there is a companion website, created and maintained by the author, Susan Elliott. The website, gettingpastyourpast.com, is a great community of people and Susan writes amazing posts that expand on the concepts in the book. I can truly not express how much the website and book have helped me in the past year.

As a final note, another reason I appreciate this book is that it is appropriate for any gender, any age, and any sexuality. Susan is careful not to use heteronormative or gender specific language, and I really appreciate that. The book also takes into account that the readers may be at very different points in their lives-- from in college, to having kids, to beyond.

In conclusion, I can't recommend this book enough!
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43 of 48 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Getting Past Your Breakup, April 28, 2009
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This review is from: Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You (Paperback)
What I really liked about this book is it really is a guidebook to getting better. It's a very easy read with clearly written steps to take. So many self-help books are just a mish-mash of analysis, but this one is so much more practical than that. Also, I found that I could (unfortunately) relate to some of the personal stories, which helps me to want to apply the "tools" in this book.
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33 of 38 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Best break-up book available. Period., February 25, 2010
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This review is from: Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You (Paperback)
Among dozens of the break-up books I have read, this one is by far the best. The thing I like about the book is its combination of various scientific techniques under the covers to help you heal properly. There are a lot of books out there which focus only on the future, they try to make you forget and move on as soon as possible, without much introspection for yourself and for your past. This book is different. It places an emphasis on introspection and self-awareness, yet it isn't a solely theoretical psych workbook. It emphasizes balance in your life. It attempts to teach you that you will be fine no matter what as long as you have a great relationship with yourself. This book focuses on fixing the foundation (the concept of core-self) instead of trying to alleviate the symptoms, yet gives practical advice when it is time to go out and meet people. It has proved to be a great value in my recovery and I highly recommend it.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Can't recommend it enough! Get it!!, January 16, 2011
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This review is from: Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You (Paperback)
I started reading Susan's blog [...] around early 2008 before this book was published. I was just starting the painful trek through a divorce that caught me off guard (don't they all?!). To say I was suffering is an understatement. Her blog got me through a lot of long days at work, her wisdom taken straight to heart (sometimes the only thing that kept me going). As soon as her book came out I bought it and it's systematic approach to what I had been reading on the blog was much needed. The blog is great, but I loved that I now had a bound book of what I had been reading electronically. I have read it a few times now, going back to it for different bits of wisdom. I have bought it for friends and family that have faced the inevitable break up - I see them questioning their self worth, going back for more bad treatment in the relationship, and most of all....not becoming the amazing human that I know they are because they are so caught up in the drama of being with "that person". I did all these things too. And now...even though it is painful to type because it sounds so cliche and predictable...BUT I am amazed at the human I have become, the exciting life I have built for myself, and I owe so much of it to the wisdom that Susan has gathered in her life and placed on the pages of her book (and her wonderful blog!). So please, if you are reading this, take my advice and buy the book - read it, sit with it, write in it. This is a quality book written by a very authentic and sincere person. No bs in this book that you can often find in fluff self-help literature. And Susan, if you are reading, thank you. I have followed your story in the last couple of years and I just feel so inspired by you. I am so very sorry for the loss you have faced in your life - recent and long ago - but what you have shared with the rest of us regarding the wisdom you collected along the way has certainly eased so much unnecessary suffering.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is a KEEPER. You WILL breathe again, January 15, 2011
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This review is from: Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You (Paperback)
I am so grateful to have found this book, and the author Susan Elliott's website.

Susan Elliott is a wonderfully compassionate soul. She shares her own life experiences and successes, which I found particularly helpful.

This book helped me get over a breakup of a long term relationship that I never saw coming. I struggled with tears and anguish and carried around that painful knot in my gut for over a year before I found this book. I thought I would never get over it. Like many, I found the website first, and then the book. No other book has ever made such a difference in my life.

If you want to STOP hurting over a breakup, either recently or in the past, Susan Elliott's book WILL change your life.

If you are willing to take a good look at yourself, do some tough but refreshing, soul clearing work, buy this book NOW. By reading this book, and working through the steps, you WILL get over the anguish of that heartbreak,learn how to put it all in perspective, and move forward with your life.

Susan Elliott helps you put the pieces of yourself back together. She helps you learn how to make choices and take the appropriate actions necessary to get over your breakup, work through the grief, to nurture yourself, to re-focus, find your footing, and STOP crying. The knot in your stomach, the tears that are always ready to leak out... WILL start going away. As you heal inside, you WILL get more and more of those ah-ha moments where you realize... WOW! That really doesn't hurt so much anymore.

Additionally, this book is not directly focused on victims of domestic violence, but if that is where you are or where you have been, it will also be especially helpful for you.

Getting Past Your Breakup is absolutely the best breakup book available. Unfortunately, I tried several prior to finding this one. This is really the only book that I found that offered real results and helped me move forward. It has also helped me be a better friend when someone is hurting.

Susan, if you read this, THANK YOU. I am still a work in progress, but I am forever changed by finding your book and your website. THANK YOU for your work, and for helping me work through my gut-wrenching heartbreak and move forward with my life.
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15 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Practical Advice, June 5, 2009
This review is from: Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You (Paperback)
The author never diminishes how truly devastating a break up can be while also gently reminding the reader that moving on is essential in order to grow, become a better person, and choose better partners. The book is very practical and offers advice on stopping the obsessive thoughts about your ex by putting the focus back on your life. The author encourages you to become the person that you always wanted to be and pursue the personal goals that will make your life full, even if you are single. I believe that this book offers advice that is very healing.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars No Hope? Read This., July 25, 2010
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This review is from: Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You (Paperback)
I wish I had found this book sooner. Less than one year ago, I was in a very dark place after the demise of my 4+ year relationship with the man I believed was "The One." We had discussed marriage, homes, children, even children's names. Instead of coping with the loss, I rebounded with a man that was not right for me. I hurt this new man, and myself, in the process once I realized my mistake. Had I gotten Susan's book earlier, I would have "gotten past my breakup" in a much healthier fashion by working through the grief instead of avoiding it.

This book is for anyone, but especially those who believe there is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is a light, and it's bright, trust me. It only took me approximately 6 months, even with the rebound setback, to completely move on from my 4+ year relationship. At the time, I didn't believe it would ever be possible. I would sit and cry in my bedroom for hours on end wondering how I could have changed to make things better. This book, although I wish I had read it sooner, helped me to analyze my past relationships and understand why they were flawed. It wasn't that I was flawed, it was the relationship itself. We simply were not compatible. This book helped me realize that "I would rather be alone than accept the unacceptable from anyone."

With the help of this book, I have been able to end a 6 month relationship with another man that I loved who was not right for me. He has called/texted me over and over but this book has given me the strength to know that he cannot convince me to come back. I continue to go back to this book time after time to remember that noone should have to change for another person.

This book can be your light at the end of the tunnel -- read it and bask in your newfound happiness.
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13 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Beyond Helpful, November 2, 2009
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April Green "<3 Me" (Brea, Cali Cali (It's all about the OC Baby!) United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You (Paperback)
After a 4 year breakup, I was completely lost...shocked by the overwhelming feeling of "what now"..."how do I get through this"..."I'm not strong enough to get through this". I read the book, did all of the excercises in it & I felt better & better each day. I'm re-reading it now, to help anything that hadn't fully sunk in the first time register. This book was my "bible" for a while, & I'm so thankful that I read it. It's been only 2.5 months since the breakup & I feel like a new person. I had to let go of something & that was very painful, but all of the inventory lists that you create make such a difference. You're able to view the relationship in a different light. In reality I let go of a relationship that was painful (from the beginning) & now I have a different outlook. I know what I want & I believe it's attainable. I will never forget this book or the lessons I've learned because of it. I will buy it as a gift for anyone of my friends/family who will encounter future breakups, because it works. It's an amazing book, it's worth the read. If you do read it, do the homework - it makes the process so much easier to let go of the bad & look forward to your future. I know everything will be ok & that's thanks to this book.
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Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You
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