Customer Reviews

Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You

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Every once in a long while, a person comes along who touches your life in such a profound way that you almost can't believe it.

For me, that person is Susan Elliott.

I stumbled upon her blog when I was at an all-time low in my life, having just undergone a heart-wrenching breakup that turned my world upside down and inside out. How could I allow someone to treat me so horribly in the name of love? Why didn't I recognize that I was being exploited? What was so damaged in me that I chose such a narcissistic mental case?

Susan's blog shed light on all of these questions and set me on a long journey toward becoming the person I was meant to be. My life is far better now than I ever could have imagined, spanning all areas, and she is in large part to thank.

This is not just a book about how to overcome your breakup -- it provides the resources to heal from your damaged past, recognize that you deserve better in life, learn to listen to and trust your instincts, and find real happiness. There's no hocus pocus here -- it's a smart book that executes key elements of cognitive psychology.

Simply put, this book is a life saver. Read it, apply it and be forever changed.

Like some of the others, I found Susan Elliott's Getting Past Your Past blog when I was struggling after a major heartbreak. Without any doubt, the website, and subsequently this book have done more for my healing than any other resources I have come across.

It is practical help, written with the compassion of someone who has gone through it, to guide you through those darkest hours and beyond. Like the best kind of friend, who is there for you even when you are not there for yourself, one who tells you the truth even when you don't want to hear it, her no-nonsense approach to both understanding where you are and guiding you with how to deal with it, is invaluable. There is no fluff here. Heart break and betrayal are soul destroying and the grieving and the healing processes need to be honoured.

Ms. Elliott provides the tools you need when you are in no place to think for yourself, the tools you need to get your life and yourself back, and the tools you need to navigate a better, more beautiful future for yourself when the time is right. And in the end she leaves you to spread your own wings and fly again - the best kind of teacher. She is an awesome woman, and this is an awesome book.

I will never let go of this one. I want it on my bookshelf, just in case. Not that I'm expecting ever to be in that space again. I can honestly say since coming across Susan Elliott's work I have become stronger, clearer, got back into my own life, and taken complete responsibility for my healing. And although I may suffer heartbreak again, I will not lose myself in the process.

I've not written a review before, but I can honestly say this helped me get through this like nothing else. Actually... not just get through it, I'm learning to thrive and really live my life. So, if you're going through a heartbreak, or know someone who is, get this. And go visit her blog. All the best to you.

What I really liked about this book is it really is a guidebook to getting better. It's a very easy read with clearly written steps to take. So many self-help books are just a mish-mash of analysis, but this one is so much more practical than that. Also, I found that I could (unfortunately) relate to some of the personal stories, which helps me to want to apply the "tools" in this book.

About a year ago, I went through a horrible breakup with my partner of nearly five years, and best friend for ten. I turned to books about breakups to help me through a time I didn't know how I was going to survive. I purchased about 8 books, and this one was far and beyond the best-- absolutely no comparison. This is the only one of the 8 that I have underlined, highlighted, and still read, even after the grief has passed. In fact, this book is sitting right in the front spot on my shelf right now.

The reason why this book is still so valuable to me is that it is more than a breakup book, it is a book about how to live your life as a happy and complete person. The book offers not only ways to get past your breakup, but ways to build your confidence, be happy single, and be happy in a relationship. The chapter on setting boundaries has been invaluable to me.

Another reason why I strongly, strongly recommend this book is that there is a companion website, created and maintained by the author, Susan Elliott. The website, gettingpastyourpast.com, is a great community of people and Susan writes amazing posts that expand on the concepts in the book. I can truly not express how much the website and book have helped me in the past year.

As a final note, another reason I appreciate this book is that it is appropriate for any gender, any age, and any sexuality. Susan is careful not to use heteronormative or gender specific language, and I really appreciate that. The book also takes into account that the readers may be at very different points in their lives-- from in college, to having kids, to beyond.

In conclusion, I can't recommend this book enough!

Among dozens of the break-up books I have read, this one is by far the best. The thing I like about the book is its combination of various scientific techniques under the covers to help you heal properly. There are a lot of books out there which focus only on the future, they try to make you forget and move on as soon as possible, without much introspection for yourself and for your past. This book is different. It places an emphasis on introspection and self-awareness, yet it isn't a solely theoretical psych workbook. It emphasizes balance in your life. It attempts to teach you that you will be fine no matter what as long as you have a great relationship with yourself. This book focuses on fixing the foundation (the concept of core-self) instead of trying to alleviate the symptoms, yet gives practical advice when it is time to go out and meet people. It has proved to be a great value in my recovery and I highly recommend it.

The author never diminishes how truly devastating a break up can be while also gently reminding the reader that moving on is essential in order to grow, become a better person, and choose better partners. The book is very practical and offers advice on stopping the obsessive thoughts about your ex by putting the focus back on your life. The author encourages you to become the person that you always wanted to be and pursue the personal goals that will make your life full, even if you are single. I believe that this book offers advice that is very healing.

After a 4 year breakup, I was completely lost...shocked by the overwhelming feeling of "what now"..."how do I get through this"..."I'm not strong enough to get through this". I read the book, did all of the excercises in it & I felt better & better each day. I'm re-reading it now, to help anything that hadn't fully sunk in the first time register. This book was my "bible" for a while, & I'm so thankful that I read it. It's been only 2.5 months since the breakup & I feel like a new person. I had to let go of something & that was very painful, but all of the inventory lists that you create make such a difference. You're able to view the relationship in a different light. In reality I let go of a relationship that was painful (from the beginning) & now I have a different outlook. I know what I want & I believe it's attainable. I will never forget this book or the lessons I've learned because of it. I will buy it as a gift for anyone of my friends/family who will encounter future breakups, because it works. It's an amazing book, it's worth the read. If you do read it, do the homework - it makes the process so much easier to let go of the bad & look forward to your future. I know everything will be ok & that's thanks to this book.

This is an *amazing* breakup book. It's probably the best on the market. It's also more than a break-up book. It's a very practical, easy to read, self-help handbook. The information is easy to digest, and the examples and personal stories (including and especially the author's) are truly helpful and very interesting. They make you feel understood, less alone, and very empowered! I love Elliot's writing style. I love her advice, wisdom, sense of humor, common sense, warmth and sincerity. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone going through a breakup now and anyone who ever has gone through a breakup. It's also useful for people experiencing other kinds of loss. Check out her awesome GPYP (Getting Past Your Past) blog, too!

Susan Elliott's work has been extremely helpful to me in overcoming the breakup of my 20 year marriage. I was devastated and broken after my husband left me for another woman. The lessons in this book gave me hope again and helped pull me out of my depression. It gave me the courage to use this situation as an opportunity to grow as a person and build healthier relationships in my life.
The biggest lesson in this book is to go no contact with your ex after a breakup. This makes such a tremendous difference. It helps you overcome denial and move through the different stages of grieving. This book offers practical advice on specific steps you can take to build up your self-esteem again, set boundaries, and build the life you deserve. Since using Susan's Getting Past Your Past program, my life has become so much healthier and richer. Her advice helped me directly after the breakup in dealing with my divorce and continues to help me now in setting boundaries with my ex as we interact concerning our children.
Thank you to Susan Elliott for helping so many out there with your blog and this book!

I credit this book and the accompanying blog as being the things which took me from a person in tremendous pain and heartache, one of the darkest periods of my life, out into the light, where I could not only function normally, but actually be happy again, and excited for the future. This program takes work and courage and dedication, but it really really works. Susan's writing is easy to understand and she makes it gender and sexual preference neutral, so I would recommend it for anyone! Be good to you, and buy this book!