Customer Reviews

Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook : How to Really Get to Know the Person You're Going to Marry

5 star:		(24)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

This book is a nice start for Christian couples (not recommended for people looking for a general, nonreligious/spiritual view) in that it raises important issues and encourages you to keep the discussion open afterward. The book is organized into topics such as Finance, Family Planning etc...and your future spouse answers the questions separately from you, guessing how you might answer, as well as answering for him/herself. Then the book asks you to grade how many questions you answered wrong/right, and sign a covenent on each subject based on things discussed. As thorough as this might be, there are some issues to keep in mind while reading this: 1) The language assumes certain roles and biases, which you may or may not agree with whether or not you are a Christian. E.g. "My father usually left a good tip for the waitress/waiter in restaurants," or irrelevant questions such as questions assuming your parents are still together or their relationship was consistent throughout their marriage. Some of the questions don't seem to have been updated for several decades. 2) You have to answer true or false, though many of the statements are not that easily answered. My fiancee and I ended up disregarding the scoring process, and discussing statements we thought were partly true or partly false rather than simplifying things to a T or F. The point is not to get a certain score after all, the point is to grow and learn about each other. 3) The chapter on finances is somewhat unspecific, so my fiancee and I are going to read a guide to finance next. There are other topics that are broad as well, but this book is designed that way. It's up to you to follow through to the next steps. If you think finishing this book prepares you for marriage, you possibly are walking into marriage short-sighted. It is a good vehicle, however, for starting the conversation that you and your future spouse will continue to have for the rest of your lives. Good luck!

Any pre-marital preparation and counseling is a good idea in my book, but this is something special. While we were engaged and living in different cities, my wife and I went through this workbook individually chapter by chapter and discussed our responses over the phone. So many topics came up that we would never have thought to be major issues for us to deal with! The particular strength of this book over some others is the authors' emphasis on families of origin. We each bring so much baggage and so many expectations into the marriage that comes from our families where we grew up! Many books ignore this, but Sloan and Hardin wisely forced us to look hard beyond puppy love and into real-life commitment. I get the feeling the authors have seen their share of wrecked marriages, have traced the problems, and have used that knowledge in the creation this book. Highly recommended.

The book itself I'm sure is an excellent guide for devout Christians, or Christians period. The fact that every single page had at least one religious reference made it very difficult for a nonreligious person to read.

My wife and I did this book before we got married. The chapters are very short, only a couple of pages, and getting through the book is relatively easy. We set a goal of one chapter per week, but if we missed a week, it was easy to make up.

Besides the short chapters there were a few "list exercises" to complete. We would complete them separately, then compare afterwards. The great thing about this book is that it helps to start conversation about various topics. In a way, that is the best part of a pre-marital book, getting couples to talk about themselves, especially about topics that they may not regularly discuss. With discussion, expections can be set, and points of view can be expressed before there are conflicts. It doesn't mean that there will be no conflicts, but at least you talked about it beforehand...

Regardless of whether you're Christian or not, this book has a good breadth of discussion points that could be very useful to anyone.

My wife and I teach a premarital class at our local church and use this book as our workbook. So far, each of the couples in the class has really enjoyed finding what makes each other "tick". This book, with its short chapters and questionaires, has helped stimulate in depth disscusions between the future mates about what "baggage" each is bringing to their marriage. The book covers topics from personalities and attitudes,to finances and sex. Each subject is presented from a Chistian perspective, and yet is general enough to be able to cross denominational lines. If you want to really get to know your future mate, read this book. It will open lines of communication that will last a lifetime.

This book asks some good questions. There are important points that each couple should be talking about, however, the scoring for the test is very confusing. Also, my boyfriends parents are both deceased. Many of the questions are about your parents and family. The questions do not take into account the different circumstances in many people's lives. The questions are geared toward a young couple in an ideal situation. What about adoption or foster care families? We ended up being very frustrated after doing 2 chapters of the book. We decided to read the questions to each other and not score it. This way we use it to get to know each other.

My fiance purchased a copy of this book for both of us since we have a long-distance relationship. During our conversations over the phone we would discuss the chapters we designated to read. When he would visit me for the weekend, we would spend time answering the hundreds of questions we never thought to ask. After going through this book, I'm left with a desire to know more about my husband to be. I definitely would recommend this book to any couple considering marraige. But I would also recommend the couple to develop a habit of reading relationship books together. After this book, we read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Even though, I didnt agree with everything written in that book, it is still an important part of our relationship, since he agreed with some issues I never thought he would. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that even reading books that are terribly bad, can help you and your fiance to know what you agree on which can be encouraging. At least you still agree on some of the basic stuff. Overall, this book was an excellent read which sparked much needed conversation.

My wife and I found this book very valuable. However, the book is mainly directed towards non cross cultural marriages. So If you are a mixed couple like us, Sweden & Portugal, do please remeber to check out som books about cross-cultural communication.

God Bless you with your marriage.

My fiancee and I have found this to be an excellent tool for deepening our understanding of each other as we prepare for marriage. We highly recommend it.

Written from a Christian perspective of marriage, it is applicable to anyone who wants their marriage to be a lifetime and life-long commitment. The goal of the book is to help couples learn the "who" and "why" of each other. It does this by promoting communication about each individual's family background as well as what each individual is looking forward to in a marriage.

This is an excellent tool. It doesn't "preach" but helps you learn for yourself.

My husband and I read many books together before our marriage last year. This book helped us the most. We were able to discuss potential differences and expectations. This book helped us understand each other, our families, and our ideas about marriage better. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to improve their relationship and prepare for the more difficult parts of marriage.