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Getting Real: Ten Truth Skills You Need to Live an Authentic Life

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Dr. Susan Campbell explains how we can get honest communications in a world of superficial chatter & white lies. In the Aftermath of September 11th, Getting Real has a lot to say about effective awareness practices.

This book provides a set of simple & effective awareness practices that give you ideas on how to discover the freedom that comes from relating more & controlling less.

Having said that, Getting Real will make you work - packed into 231 pages is a trunkful of baggage we carry about, shielding us, distracting us. From "How to Stop Being Right and Start Being Real" to "Experiencing What Is: To get Where You Need to Go, Be Where You Are"; from "Being Transparent: Freedom's Just Another Word for Nothing Left to Hide" to "Noticing Your Intent: Is It to Relate or to Control?"; from "Welcoming Feedback: It's How We Learn" to "Taking Back Projections: Discovering Your Other Side." & so on, Dr. Campbell works us through each process with sidebars, quizzes, examples, explanations, a good Resource Guide & Index.

There's so much to work on - so much to learn, some you might already know - most you won't have given a second thought to until you turn the page & find yourself murmuring: "Ahha!" I felt decades & pounds lighter after I'd worked the exercises & read the book! While Getting Real is hard work - it is good medicine!

I just wish Getting Real had been bigger in size - along the lines of a cookbook with wide margins - so I could lay it flat & make notations!

After reading Radical Honesty I quite accidentally came across this book in the library! And while I found Radical Honesty compelling and challenging, I also felt uncertain of my ability to truly practice the skills Brad Blantoon proposed.
Susan Campbell presents many of the same challenges to her readers, but gives such powerful concrete examples that I found it easier to understand and begin to apply in my own life.
The Truth Skills are clear, very comprehendable, and while simple in that way, for me living them will be a challenge.
I scored high on all of her self-assessment quizzes - and yet I did not read the book and come away feeling like I am some sort of failure as a person, just that I am indeed like most of the people roaming this earth. What makes me different is my desire to change and grow. Where I see myself failing most significantly in my life is in the area of communicating and relating in healthy ways. Learning to live in "what IS" and not what I imagine, learning to relate and not control, and to listen closely to my self-talk, to feel free to communicate and to be ABLE to communicate and to be real, for example, for me will be life changing.
I cannot recommend this book highly enough!

Getting Real is an honest and straightforward book about freedom. Many of us, perhaps most of us, learn from early childhood experiences that it's not safe to be ourselves. We take on false beliefs that become part of our adult lives. This book shows us, step by step, how to free ourselves from the need to control how others view us and find the
freedom that comes from "relating" as opposed to "controlling."

The book is organized around 10 truth skills that help us learn to communicate authentically and discover that "we are most loveable when we are most transparent." When we speak from our own experience instead of from our judments and interpretations, we enter the realm of the here-and-now. We learn to communicate our honesty with presence and compassion, instead of trying to prove ourselves right.

Dr. Campbell, a corporate consultant and seminar leader, has found that when people practice these skills, their fear of speaking honestly dissolves. They develop an unshakeable sense of inner safety and security, so they no longer need to control other peoples' opinions or reactions.

Indeed, Getting Real teaches us everything from how to experience reality and how to be transparent (feeling good about revealing your true self) to how to assert your wants and how to embrace silence in a relationship. Dr. Campbell writes, "Profound things happen when two people sit face-to-face and openly explore their feelings toward each other in the present." Susan Campbell, Ph.D. has, in this reviewer's opinion, given us the ability to see and appreciate our true selves!

Don't be deceived. Susan Campbell's latest book is easy to understand, but practicing her wisdom will be one of your most difficult undertakings. Simple, but not easy. How can we reach out and reach within simultaneously? Staying connected with yourself and with whomever you happen to be interacting with in the moment requires awareness and intention, two aspects of the human experience that are clouded by our conditioned selves. Ms. Cambell helps us know how to do this by getting real, and practice makes perfect. This is the ultimate spiritual practice that requires a commitment to stay with yourself without giving "you" up as you engage with others. Filled with wonderful insights, this jewel takes you beyond the commercial self-help books into a space of knowing how to do what you always wanted to do: be connected and stay there by accepting what is. By using Susan's guidance perhaps we can stop intellectualizing and let our hearts tell us how to proceed. Feeling good is our way of knowing that our last thought was Truth, that our last word was Wisdom, and that our last action was Love. Proceed with Love in your heart and read this book.

I cannot speak to how this book will impact others but for myself I found that with each passing chapter I found MYSELF in those pages. I kept thinking over past relationships and how I had done almost every single thing WRONG. This book does not come off as some "new agey" kind of "I'm OK, you're OK" cra*. It just asks you to look at yourself; Look at how you are relating to the world and then suggests a different way of relating.

Ask yourself, "Am I happy with my life, my relationships?" If the answer is no I think this book is worth a read. It gets especially useful if you can get family and friends to participate. That can really help you get through barriers you thought were sealed for life.

"The important thing is to look honestly at what your need to control is designed to protect you from and whether it actually supports your well being." pg. 88 This is only one of the very valuable quotes I have typed and placed on my refrigerator door... I refer to it every day and thank Susan every day for writing Getting Real.

Another of my favorites is, "If you let fear get in the way of honest communication, you lose your power to create magic".

Magic is what Susan has created in this book. I give it the highest possible recommendation.

Averill Bowers... former reference librarian

This is an excellent and very practical book on authentic and effective communication. It is written in a very readable style and presented in a way that is logical, coherent and easy to assimilate. Many of the ideas put forth in this book are not the standard fare ones sees within this genre. When the ideas are what you may have encountered in other readings, they are presented in a fresh light. The one minor criticism I have is that I found the book a bit heavy on case histories or stories. For me, this is somewhat of a weakness, but I know for others this can be a strength. If they had a 4.5 star category, I might lower my rating a bit because of this. Two books that I have found complimentary to this one are Crucial Conversations and Difficult Conversations. I would consider both of these to be excellent books for dealing with family or relationship conflict and they build on the philosophy and concepts presented in this book. This book is more heart centered than the other two and go more deeply into specific conflict resolution concepts. All of them, however, assume a principled, authentic and heart-centered approach to dealing with others.

If you want to have better relationships, to fit better in the world and to understand what goes on and wrong with relationships, then Getting Real is a must read.

At the outset, Susan Campbell tells us, "that about 80 percent of the average person's communications are geared toward controlling things that are actually beyond the person's control: a huge waste of human energy."

Trying to control things beyond your control has to lead to frustration, anger, anxiety and increased levels of stress. It is not healthy for relationships.

"The people in my study who experienced the greatest number of painful unexpected surprises (such as job loss, divorce, and alienation from their grown children) were those who demonstrated the highest need for control."

There is an extremely valuable lesson here. Give up trying to control and learn to accept what is. She says we need to give up our need to be right and start being real.

The ten truth skills are: 1) Experience what is 2) Be transparent 3) Notice your intent 4) Welcome feedback 5) Assert what you want and what you don't want 6) Quit projecting 7) Be open to revising previous statements 8) Be okay with holding different viewpoints 9) Learn to share mixed emotions and 10) Learn to live in the moment

This book is very well written and based on years of research and actual practice. There are plenty of examples to support the 10 Truth Skills.

You will need to approach this book with an open mind. If you are not trained in these skills, you will need to change your way of thinking as they often run contrary to convention.

This book can be of great help in improving the way you think and act. Removing the need to control things beyond your control will immediately reduce the stress in your life - and stress is directly responsible for well over 80% of all health issues.

I highly recommend this book. Read it and use these 10 Truth Skills to change the way you live. You will live a better life by adopting them.

This book is one of the most important books I own. Susan gives us truly inspiring ways to communicate that keep us walking through our days with joy and the ability to honor ourselves, others and the changing world around us. Getting Real is a guide to everyday living that changes both our inner and outer worlds. I have learned so much about myself and find I am more willing to share myself with those around me and live a vastly more authentic life. Thank you Susan.

I found this book packed with relevant, immediately useful information. It has inspired me be more present and contactful in my relating with others. I am more self-aware and more willing to risk being real and honest after reading this. It actually showed me things I can do to make honesty safer and more compassionate.