Getting the Sex You Want: Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together [Hardcover]

Tammy Nelson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 1, 2008

A proven couples counseling method applied to sex for the very first time.

Communication problems can erode a relationship in and out of the bedroom. This guide takes a proven communication method, which has been used to counsel millions of couples, and applies it to sex for the very first time. The Imago Relationship Therapy, which was pioneered by Harville Hendrix in the national bestseller and self-help classic Getting the Love You Want, shows readers how to understand and build trust with their partners through a unique form of dialogue.

Getting the Sex You Want teaches readers how to build sexual communication skills quickly and connect with their partner in a new way. Readers learn exercises that enable them to communicate their sexual needs and desires, get past old issues, and revive passion in their relationship.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"This is the best guide for helping couples enhance their sexual pleasure that I have seen. I recommend it without reservation to every couple."
-Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of the national best-seller, Getting the Love You Want

"Utilizing the principles of Imago Therapy as outlined by Harville Hendrix, Tammy Nelson invites long-time couples to reinvent their intimacy and cultivate an erotic atmosphere that will sustain them for years to come. Couples who have given up on having a vivid, exciting sex life together will reawaken or newly discover an intensity they may have never known before."
-Eve Marx, best-selling author of The Goddess Orgasm andRead My Hips: The Sexy Language of Flirtation

"This book is easy to read and full of wonderful exercises to help couples become more passionate and connected in their sexual relationship. I really appreciated the author's teaching couples how to speak and listen to each other about what turns each of them on. I fully intend to recommend it to all my couples as a way of rekindling their love life!"
-Linda Schnapp, C.S.W., Certified Imago Therapist

"Tammy Nelson takes you safely by the hand and leads you into the erotic world of passionate sex. The pace is just right, the facts are friendly, and the process powerful. This book is thorough, timely, and long-awaited. Get it, read it, enjoy it!"
-Patricia Love, Ed.D., co-author, How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It

"This book presents life-changing information in a straightforward, step-by-step manner that is easily accessible to couples interested in deepening their physical and emotional connection. Whether in the early stages of a relationship or well into a long-term one, this book provides a variety of ways to increase passion, encourage sexual curiosity and experimentation, and give you both the sex you want."
-Helen Brown, Spa Director, Mayflower Inn and Spa

About the Author

Tammy Nelson, MS, ATR, LADC, LPC, CIT, is a licensed psychotherapist with almost 20 years of experience working with individuals and couples. In her practice she works with couples to increase the passion in their relationships and re-sexualize relationships through communication and fantasy. Tammy is the founder and executive director of the Center for Healing & Recovery in Ridgefield and Norwalk, Connecticut.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 224 pages
• Publisher: Quiver (April 1, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 159233301X
• ISBN-13: 978-1592333011
• Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 6.5 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #104,074 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #96 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Psychology & Counseling > Psychoanalysis

More About the Author

Dr Tammy Nelson, is an internationally known speaker, a licensed psychotherapist and author with over 20 years experience working with individuals and couples. She is a Certified Sexologist, she holds a PhD in Sexology from the American Academy of Clinical Sexology, is a Board Diplomate in Sexology, is a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Registered Art Therapist, and a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor as well as a Certified Imago therapist, a Certified Imago workshop presenter and an Advanced Clinician.

Tammy is the author of several books including "Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together" and is also the author of "What's Eating You" a workbook for young people with food issues.

Nelson leads workshops for couples in "Sex and Intimacy" and "Getting the Love You Want" workshops based on Harville Hendrix's best selling book and his theory of Imago therapy.

Tammy teaches workshops and seminars around the world, and has worked with Eve Ensler (of the Vagina Monologues) in her Broadway production of "The Good Body", where Tammy provided workshops in the "Red Tent" Installation in New York City along with the likes of Christiana Northrup and Isabella Rosellini.

She is the mother of four children; all in the teen years. She lives in CT and has a private practice where she sees couples and individuals.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

77 of 85 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars An open-hearted, generous book for couples April 25, 2008

By Gina Ogden

Format:Hardcover

Here is a book I'll recommend to any couple who feels ready to experience a more loving and passionate sexual relationship. Tammy Nelson is an Imago therapist and teacher with two decades of clinical practice. Her skills shine forth not only in the information she offers here, but also in the helpful way the book is organized, with step by step techniques for helping couples recharge their relationships in a variety of situations.

Topics include help for stale-mated partners who "keep score" and for those who "fake it." She offers exercises to deal with the fear, anxiety, control, anger, and resentment that too many couples take to bed with them, and shows ways to express love, trust, appreciation, sensuality, and lusty desire. Other topics include explicit guidance for sexual intimacy that range from massage and genital stimulation to creating sexual rituals. The book concludes with a section on tolerating ecstasy and joy--a problem many people have in our fast-track culture.

If you are a therapist who works with couples--you'll find this book a wonderful resource for you as well as your clients. It spans the divide between couple therapy and sex therapy in a way that guides and educates in a straightforward, collegial manner.

29 of 31 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A different and more loving approach to talking about sex! May 17, 2009

By Cindy Ricardo

Format:Hardcover

I am a Certified Imago Therapist and work with both couples and individuals in my private practice. This is a great book and one that I highly recommend to couples when it comes to talking about the often challenging, difficult, exciting and titillating subject of sex! Most of all I love Tammy's approach because it builds on the Imago Therapy approach to couples counseling which is all about creating safety in your relationship so that you can be vulnerable and talk about sensitive issues. I recommend it for all couples who want to learn more about themselves, each other and also want to build a more intimate, loving connection.

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic book January 5, 2012

By C. Wilke

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

Let me preface my review by saying that I am skeptical about the philosophy behind imago therapy. I think it's simplistic and outdated to try to locate the source of all psychological problems in one's childhood. This is particularly true for couples. They may have problems because they have different personalities (e.g., one is an introvert and one is an extrovert) or because one partner has undergone a traumatic event, such as disease or loss of a close family member.

Having said this, I found the book absolutely fantastic, and would give it 6 stars if I could. The book doesn't really talk about the philosophic underpinnings of imago therapy. It just uses one key concept from this therapy approach (a specific form of dialog where one mirrors, then validates and empathizes with, the statements of the partner) as the key ingredient in a long list of exercises that help partners to develop an intimate connection. All the exercises are great; I believe that most couples are going to find something useful in these exercises, even if their relationship is quite good already.

Further, many relationships are in a stalemate where one partner needs emotional support as a precondition for physical intimacy while the other needs physical intimacy to feel emotionally connected. Several exercises in this book provide a great way to break out of this vicious cycle.