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Getting the Sex You Want: A Woman's Guide to Becoming Proud, Passionate and Pleased in Bed
 
 
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Getting the Sex You Want: A Woman's Guide to Becoming Proud, Passionate and Pleased in Bed [Hardcover]

Sandra Leiblum (Author), Judith Sachs (Author)
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)


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Book Description

February 5, 2002
“Sex comes with a big shiny bow wrapped around it: a present that promises the ultimate physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual fulfillment, but once the box is open, everything’s in pieces and there are no instructions.”
—From the Introduction

Why are so many women so unhappy with their sex lives? How can they kindle—or rekindle—their interest in sex and get the satisfaction they deserve? After a quarter of a century of research, writing, teaching, and counseling men, women, and couples, psychologist and sex therapist Sandra Leiblum, Ph.D., and sex educator Judith Sachs know that sex is a conundrum for most women.

At various stages in their lives, women find themselves in a gulf between fantasy and reality. They may want pleasure but have no idea how to go about getting it. They may be uncomfortable with their bodies, too tired at the end of the second shift, bored with the same-old same-old, but ambivalent about sexual risk-taking. Still others have simply (or not so simply) lost interest. All the technique in the world won’t help if you don’t want sex in the first place. With this book, patience, and practice, you can look forward to a sexual revival—and the comfort of knowing you’re unique but not alone.

Whatever stage you’re at, Getting the Sex You Want will help you understand the cycles of interest and apathy over your lifetime and discover—or rediscover—the joys of your sexuality. Leiblum and Sachs have synthesized the latest research into women’s sexuality and desire with encouraging results. As warmly intimate as it is savvy, this clear, accessible, inviting guide includes the voices of dozens of women representing a vast array of experiences and opinions about sex. There’s a wealth of information and inspiration to help you reach your sexual potential, and good reasons why the effort is worth it.

Part I examines women’s life cycles to map their journeys from one erotic destination to the next, from the blossoming of sexual interest in childhood and adolescence, through the reproductive years, to the fire-and-ice changes that go on throughout midlife and on into “highlife,” or older age. Part II is a tasting menu of new and different possibilities: cybersex, hormone treatment and medication, cosmetic and reproductive surgery, mind-body practices, therapy, and more that will help you take control to want the sex you get—and get the sex you want.


Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Sex therapists and educators at the University of Michigan Medical School, Foley and her coauthors present an overview of women's sexual development and dilemmas throughout the life course, followed by chapters about self-care. They discuss sexual response, body image, sexual relationships, and overcoming difficulties ranging from sexual dysfunctions to disabilities, STDs, and trauma, including sexual abuse. Coverage is comprehensive and accurate, with information about issues that are rarely addressed, e.g., the effects of incontinence on women's sexuality. More illustrations and sidebars would have helped lighten the text and dissipate the occasional sense that sex is so complex and ridden with minefields that why should one bother? Leiblum, a counselor/therapist/educator based at the Center for Sexual and Marital Health at the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School, and Sachs (The Healing Power of Sex) also begin with a description of women's sexual experiences and issues. But somehow their book is more focused, interesting, and detailed than Sex Matters for Women. For example, readers will find more material about lesbians and even mentions of Muslim and Indian customs. After the overview, the book turns into a sex enhancement manual, discussing the net, biological/pharmaceutical remedies, restorative and cosmetic surgery, sex toys and equipment, masturbation, meditative practices, and sex therapy all approaches often given lesser coverage in other manuals. Unfortunately, there is no general background about sexual response, no illustrations, and nothing on handling STDs or abuse; and the resource section is less substantial. Both books are accurate and useful the first more comprehensive, the second a better "read" paying more attention to diverse backgrounds. Recommended as needed for public libraries, but don't forget some of the classics in this field: Our Bodies, Ourselves, The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex (Cleis, 1997. 2d ed.), The Whole Lesbian Sex Book (LJ 1/00), and The Mother's Guide to Sex (LJ 3/15/01). Martha Cornog, Philadelphia
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

“Reading this book is like having your own personal coach and cheerleader. You will find the wisdom and support to help you enjoy more vibrant relationships and make more informed choices in today’s complex world—whether you are a grandmother or just starting out on your sexual journey. Here are the latest medical updates along with smart how-to’s to help you move beyond ‘Just Say No’ messages to discover the power of saying ‘Yes’ to the pleasure you deserve.” —Gina Ogden, Ph.D., author of Women Who Love Sex

“Finally, women have fresh opportunities to rekindle their desire, and this book gives them some unique guidance. It canvasses the best of the current research on female sexuality, interviews dozens of adult women of all ages about their sexual lives, and offers women marvelous ways to enhance their lives in the bedroom. If you seek a rewarding journey in this fundamental aspect of human living—sexual pleasure—read this entertaining and authoritative book.” —Dr. Helen Fisher, author of The First Sex: The Natural Talents of Women and How They are Changing the World

“Laced with real-world stories and the honest and touching words of women at different stages of life, this book traces the journey of sexual discovery from girlhood to old age. Filled with loads of accessible and useful information, the authors provide readers with a wonderful means of creatively enhancing their sexual lives. With a rare mixture of sound information and gentle guidance, this book invites women to take on a new set of the three Rs—Relax, Respond, and Relish your sexuality!” —Dr. June M. Reinisch, director emerita, the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction

“Leiblum and Sachs provide readers with an array of information on women thinking about, experiencing, and particularly expressing sexuality. The tone is conversational, direct, and energetic; the language spicy. The message is one of determined optimism that women can embrace their own sexual lives.” —Julia R. Heiman, Ph.D., professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences, University of Washington School of Medicine

“As a woman who has dedicated the past thirty-five years to seeking and teaching sexual pleasure, Getting the Sex You Want is on my ‘must read’ list.” -- Betty Dodson, Ph.D., author of Sex for One

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Crown; 1st edition (February 5, 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0812932846
  • ISBN-13: 978-0812932843
  • Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 6.1 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,191,215 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

9 Reviews
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4 star:
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Average Customer Review
4.0 out of 5 stars (9 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Saved my marriage, February 7, 2002
By 
Maureen (NJ United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Getting the Sex You Want: A Woman's Guide to Becoming Proud, Passionate and Pleased in Bed (Hardcover)
I have read several books by Judith Sachs and find this one the best so far!! "Healing Power of Sex" changed my life and saved my marriage. This book opened my eyes to further enhancements to our love and sex life. "Getting the Sex you Want" has helped me to cope with past issues, heal sexually and enable me to be free to express my needs/desires and explore the pleasure of my body and spirit! A must read!!!
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Revitalizes an old relationship, July 27, 2002
By A Customer
This review is from: Getting the Sex You Want: A Woman's Guide to Becoming Proud, Passionate and Pleased in Bed (Hardcover)
"Getting the Sex" is a great book that you can pick, find what you're looking for, and put down. The author's give a comprehensive understanding of the woman's psyche, but its also a great resource for men to get a better understanding of their partner. Put it on your bedside table - it can lead to a richer dialogue between partners and ultimately a closer relationship.
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12 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful. Clear. Classy., April 10, 2002
By A Customer
This review is from: Getting the Sex You Want: A Woman's Guide to Becoming Proud, Passionate and Pleased in Bed (Hardcover)
I must have reached some wild Auntie Mame stage: I have now read a book about sex that I thought was so good I bought a copy for my nineteen-year-old daughter. This book was a wonderful read: for me at fifty-two (and suffering from two misconceptions: 1. I already knew everything; and 2. It's time to prepare to enjoy sexuality less, not more), and for young women. I wish I could have read it thirty years ago. I'm glad I've read it now.
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New York, United States, The Rules, San Francisco, Lonnie Barbach, Rosemary Basson, Planned Parenthood, New Jersey, One of Sandra
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