Customer Reviews

Getting Them Sober: You Can Help!

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For simplicity in presentation the book is written in the form of the sober wife being married to an alcoholic. Substitute he, she, partner, lover, best friend or whatever and you have a practical guide with sound advice on any topic typically encountered in the living with an alcoholic household. The book is written in short chapters that quickly identify situations and offer practical advice for how to deal with them. Unlike books that offer textbook discussion of what alcoholism is, this book deals with how alcoholism affects you and how you can change to improve your life. It neither advises you to continue living with or to leave your loved one. It does present options and suggestions to deal with your situation. In the process of self improvement, you'll find more happiness despite your surroundings. And ultimately, your actions may even drive your loved one to get sober. This book is a must for anyone living with an alcoholic.

This book helped me in countless ways. It let me learn how to deal with my alcoholic and taught me to stop trying to save him. It has given me a tremendous amount of insight into my own "helpful" behavior and how damaging this can be. Not to be dramatic, but this little book changed my life for the better.

Finally, some PRACTICAL information on how to deal with the addict in your life. It explains how and why the addict tries to control and manipulate you and how you can avoid/deal with it. It also explains why you should work on getting better yourself first, the addict will follow. Highly recommended.

How unique every situation is. Yet how amazingly SIMILAR.

For years you lavish time, love, effort and money on your alcoholic. Around the time you realize they are truly killing themselves, you may also notice the situation is killing you.

Alanon was a waste of time except for hearing the horror stories of people who had spent whole lives living daily tragedies. This book was the wake-up call I needed. It paints no pretty pictures. It looks at the situation realistically. In fact, it is comforting in it's honesty.

You may stay. You may learn to detach with love. Or you may leave -- hoping they will change before it's too late for your relationship. That's what I did. I left, hopoing he'd seek help. (He didn't.) But I saved myself. And I am so much happier now.

Read this book. At least you will have an honest assessment of your situation as others have lived it. If nothing, it will give you a clearer picture of the issues and help you deal with it -- if continuing to deal with it is what you choose to do.

ANYONE living with an alcoholic needs to read this book! Before I read this book, I thought I was the insane one. After reading it I now completely understand the disease of alcoholism. After reading it I could understand why the alcoholic I was living with did the crazy things he did. Every scenario the author wrote about was happening in my household. If you live with an alcoholic, please, please read this book. If you apply the practices the author mentions you will finally have the peace of mind that you deserve!

If you've ever been in a relationship or marriage where you live with an alcoholic, you know that denial, saying it isn't that bad, making excuses for bad behavior and anything else you can think of that will not have to make you face reality all becomes a part of your behavior. After living with my alcoholic husband for ten years, this book gave me the courage to love myself and care about myself enough to start thinking of ME. I left my husband and his problem and it was the best thing that ever happened to both of us. It has been very painful, but it has brought a lot of honesty and relief. He joined AA and is in recovery. I don't know if I would have ever had the nerve to take a step for myself without the honest and forthright information this book has to offer. I keep it by my bedside and reread it whenever I need a lift or reassurance. Thank you, Toby, for every chapter, especialy Chapter 33, "Don't Say You're Changing - Just Do It". I recommend this book to anyone in an alcoholic relationship. Like the book says, the decision to stay or not is yours and there are no guarantees either way, but loving yourself FIRST is the best thing you can do for yourself and the ones you love.

I read this book wanting to get my husband to stop drinking, but I quit instead, over 5-1/2 years ago. No one told me I had a drinking problem (but then, my friends are all alcoholics themselves), but until I quit, I couldn't see that I did have a serious drinking problem. And my husband has cut back dramatically. You can't get them to quit drinking if you drink yourself. My thanks to the author for working a miracle in my life. I highly recommend this book. It succeeded where many other efforts did not. Buy this book, but if you don't buy it, just stop drinking. There is no down side to quitting drinking. And you'll be amazed at what awaits you when you get sober.

Wow. Reading this book was like discovering the world isn't flat, after all. If you love an alcoholic and have been afraid to change because you're afraid you'll lose the one you love, PLEASE read this book. Your life is waiting for you!!

This book is a Godsend for people living with an alcoholic. Truly it's amazing. While it may not fix your alcoholic, it will at least give you piece of mind. I started applying the principles in this book to my life, and to my immense joy and happiness, my alcoholic decided to go into rehab all on his own. You could have knocked me down with a feather. He has been sober now for almost 3 years. It's like a miracle. I even wrote Toby a letter and thanked her! I'm even teary-eyed just writing this review. Read this book, it will change your life!!!

When I first picked up "Getting Them Sober", I was utterly astounded and amazed. I called my sister excitedly to share. I read her excerpts. She said, "Oh my gosh, the author really knows him(meaning my alcoholic)." my sister said. Toby Rice Drews knew. This God given author knew my life. The insight was incredible it was an "aha" book. Somebody put into words and explained what I was going through, in lving with active alcoholism.

Toby answered THE QUESTION. The question that I was too afraid, too hurt, too ashamed to ask...... There it was in black and white!....."If he runs off with another woman, does that mean he doesn't love me?" Whew, I felt so much better knowing that I wasn't the only one who had ever felt that way or asked that question. I was enlightened and relieved.
I had also wondered, "Why am I so afraid he will leave?" "Why have I given him a million second chances?" "Why do I take him back?" Those questions and answers were there. I was able to start putting the pieces of the puzzle together. I grew. My life was transformed from that knowledge. I am very grateful for "Getting Them Sober."

I own all five of the books in Toby's series. The "Getting Them Sober, vol 4" book (which is all about the hidden issues in seperation/divorce in alcoholic families) was very helpful to me when I was going through my divorce. I carried it with me constantly. Here is the product link:Getting Them Sober: Vol 4 : Separations and Healings (Getting Them Sober)

Fifty percent of American families have active alcoholism in them according to the NIH. This book is a must read for everybody. Families of alcoholics, counselors, teachers, and judges will gain great insight, hope and strength in their understanding of those who suffer on a daily, yearly, lifetime basis from the HORRIBLE family disease of alcoholism. It is a good read and must read for all.