Customer Reviews

Getting Through the Day: Strategies for Adults Hurt as Children

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This book is a must-have for anyone who used dissociative strategies to survive physical, emotional, or sexual abuse as a child; their therapists, and support people. Napier does an outstanding job of explaining what it means to be dissociative, and how to cope with it. She also offers advice for multiple personalities.

A particularly useful chapter covers how to find a therapist and what the therapist-client relationship should be.

I have purchased copies for members of my support family as the book does an excellent job of demystifying dissociation and multiplicity.

Sometimes daily life feels like climbing a hill through molasses. Even those who don't have MPD may have inner children (teenagers, pseudo-adults) who seem to be at war with each other, or extreme emotional reactions left over from childhood. This book has a wealth of strategies for soothing those inner selves in the context of the demands of daily living. If that was all, that would be enough for me to recommend this book, because I don't know of another book on the market that deals with practical strategies for daily life in terms of these inner selves (with suggestions for those who do have MPD). But I also appreciate the empathetic tone of the book. Sometimes that kind of tone, however well-meant, can come off as sappy or condescending, but I felt that here it was warm and sincere. I'd also like to recommend two other books: "How to Love Yourself When You Don't Know How" and "Internal Family Systems Therapy." Both are wonderful books about these inner selves and how they function in us. And while they don't deal with the day-to-day struggles and strategies that this book does, they are also resources for exploring the subpersonality issues that affect so many of us.

Time and time again, I have come back to this book for grounding. For validation. For understanding. For direction...and it never lets me down. It is true that the author of a book can only... really.... take you as far as he/she has gone themselves! This books leads the way to what all other self-help books should aspire too! Absence of ego and a genuine sense and practical advice on how to move from point A to point B! I can not reccomend this book highly enough! Out of all the other books that I have on the subject...... this one... hands down... is the one that sits upon my night-stand! It is invaluable!!!!!

This book is excellent, especially for those struggling with MPD/DID (dissociative disorders). Unlike many other books on the subject, it is full of practical, workable coping strategies for managing everyday living and the emotional issues that come up during the recovery process. A must-read for anyone recovering from childhood abuse, whether multiple or not.

The title is an eyecatcher, but the book is so much more than just techniques for getting survivors "through the day." I have found more validation, encouragement, answers and empowering solutions in this book than in most self help books combined. And I've read A LOT of self help books!

The book's target readers are dissociators and multiples (MPD / DID). The focus is on dealing with emotions and events from childhood that have been dissociated, or set aside from consciousness. Often times, life for a dissociator goes just fine, for decades, but then you hit a brick wall, and all of your life "tricks" stop working. Bad stuff starts to come up from the past, in the forms of triggers, flashbacks, memories, etc. Your life can be turned upside down, especially if you realize that you employed personalities in order to get you through life. But Napier encourages the survivor of childhood abuse to take it at our own pace. Life isn't all good, or all bad, and while you're finally handling all of your dark, depressing issues, you can still lead a decent, middle-ground life, which accepts good times when they come.

There are exercies, which you can do or not; the author encourages readers to choose for themselves, especially since it can be frightening for dissociators to use meditative techniques to further explore feelings.

There are end-of-chapter/paragraph discussions for multiples ("Special Issues for Multiples"), but in my opinion, this is a book which all dissociators should read cover to cover. If something does not apply to you at all, or you want to skip the exercises, then do so, HOWEVER...the book is heavy with gems, and if you skip too much of it, you risk the chance of missing out on some lightbulb moments. I had MANY while reading the book.

Just so you can get a better idea of what's in here, the following topics are discussed, some at length, some in brief : shadow side, mind-body, projection, barriers, despair, shame, guilt, suicidal thoughts and feelings, splitting, and creating bridges for feelings to come through.

I found this book at a library, and knew it would be very useful for me, so I bought a used copy online. I cannot recommend it enough. No book has ever before supported me in such a way! I feel stronger for having read it, and more prepared to handle what comes my way.

A personal aside: Sometimes healing comes backwards. You may be currently dealing with traumas that may not have happened in childhood, such as rape or domestic abuse as an adult. This book can still help you IF YOU DISSOCIATED.

This book has so many ways of helping you understand what is going on in your life, how to get through the tough times, to discover what is the true cause of adverse reactions and how to heal.

Some of this information can come across as so completely foreign that it may take time for you to believe it. I remember reading some of the excercises and thinking "How hokey can you get!" After becoming desperate enough, I thought "Well nothing else has helped, why not give it a try." and it WORKED!!

I found this book so informative and helpful. Nancy Napier's work on this subject is excellent. It is especially great for those days where you wake up remembering the trauma. It feels like you have a friend giving you suggestions of what to do to get grounded and focused on today again and that is not something your mind easily goes to when you are in it. It is a gift to have the knowledge of what you can do when you arenin it instead of just being triggered or going into autopilot.

Getting Through The Day is the first book that gave me guidance on all the advice I got from the other books I read on healing from incest...Even after a stay in a therapy program I was still confused on how to soothe my inner children or how to know what triggers were..Now I have gained the understanding I need to continue on my journey toward healing and wholeness.

I've read a lot of trauma books and have found this to be one of the best. Offers information in a consise, easy to understand and easy to apply format. Have continually referenced this book as I have moved through the healing process. If I could only own one book to assist me, this would be it.

I highly recommend this book. But suggest that you go slowly and have the help of a therapist to go through all the memories and feelings that this book will bring forth. I found this extremely useful. The exercises are excellent, but again, go slowly and seek help from a therapist to go through all that will come forth.