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Getting Through to the Man You Love: The No-Nonsense, No-Nagging Guide for Women Paperback – November 30, 1999
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About the Author
Michele Weiner-Davis is an internationally renowned relationship expert and therapist in private practice. She specializes in a revolutionary therapy approach-Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy-aimed at helping people change their lives quickly and painlessly. She is the best-selling author of Divorce and Change Your Life and Everyone in It and the co-author of In Search of Solutions. She is the creator of the relationship program Keeping Love Alive. She lives outside of Chicago with her husband and two children.
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Top Customer Reviews
It's very pragmatic, action-oriented, and goal oriented. I actually took notes on it. Here's a summary of my notes(although you'll definately want the get the book, if just for the examples and short stories alone):
Instead of thinking of things he shouldn't do, think of what he should do.
Your goals should be specific and action oriented, like "hold hands in movies".
Break your goals into mini-goals
If a particular stragety doesn't work, don't do it! Keep your eyes on the cheese.
Do something different strategies:
- do something unexpected
- do a 180
- act as if...
- "easier done than said", i.e. take action
I call it my "man bible". I literally carry it with me all the time. I don't keep it at home because heaven forbid he would find it. I have now read the book twice and am now going through it again a third time underlining everything that I want to emphasize in my head. That way I figured I could look at these lined phrases in those emergency circumstances.
This wonderful book has really given me new eyes to look through. I will probably memorize it from cover to cover and then read some more. I have already seen some changes! This book is the best thing I have found in a long time.
Not only did it help with that, it explained a whole lot I have never understood about my husband. This was illuminating- and hilarious. I am now thinking differently about how I react to my husband in an argument, and how my actions affect his actions. I am more strategic- not only about what I say, but how and when I say it- it makes a huge difference. I underlined all sorts of things in this book and sometimes re-read to remind myself.
This book is particularly useful because my husband (like many other husbands I'm sure) would never in a million years read a relationship help book. You don't have to make your husband read this book in order for it to work. I read my husband a few passages and he laughed out loud. He said it was all true and endorses the author's approach. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this book- its like an owner's manual for your marriage. I have recommended this to several friends- all of whom have thanked me- one said she was buying copies for her daughter and daughter-in-law! I will be re-reading this.
Ms. Weiner-Davis presents herself as someone I would love to have for my own family therapist- she's very personable and funny. The book may not save my marriage, but I have learned some valuable actions that can be taken to change the unhealthy patterns a relationship can fall into.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
The author was spot on on so many areas of our marriage! She gives great advise and wakes up at the same time. It's not just your husband that is the pain in your marriage. Read morePublished 3 months ago by Dana Hansen
This is a phenomenal book, and highly recommended. My husband can be incredibly difficult, and we would often fight. Read morePublished 12 months ago by Gennetta
This was a great book!! It really helps you stop and see what you may be doing to destroy your own relationship. Sometimes you need to stop and look in the mirror. Read morePublished on September 9, 2013 by Sulleybug
One of the book that every woman should have. A book that should be kept secret from our man. This a great book that will guide you in getting through to the man you love.Published on May 6, 2013 by Anna Karimo
This book is like my marriage bible. I refer to it again and again. I bought it for a bridal shower gift for my daughter and told her to tuck it away in a handy place so that when... Read morePublished on April 17, 2013 by Lisa Short
I have been a fan of Michele Weiner-Davis since my early days as a Marriage & Family Therapist. Divorce Busting and Change Your Life and Everyone In It are standard assignments in... Read morePublished on August 23, 2011 by VT Steph
I was given this book by a therapist who said,"Read it. Its different". I did read it and was disappointed to find it was not that different from other "save your marriage" books. Read morePublished on August 6, 2011 by Dee
Women are more in control of their relationships than they think they are. Michele Weiner-Davis focuses on practical ways you can change yourself in order to change your... Read morePublished on October 10, 2010 by Rebecca of Amazon
I love this book. It is readable, it is accessible, and it is common sense. Now if only I could put it into practice...Published on April 6, 2010 by A. Maxon