Customer Reviews

Getting It Through My Thick Skull: Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know

5 star:		(26)
4 star:		(9)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked his book. It's not a schlocky National Enquireristic piece of junk, it's a thoughtful and inspiring book that I had a hard time putting down.

Here's what was compelling to me... We all look at sensational media coverage of events by looking over the shoulders of reporters and papparazzi. In this book I really got a feel for what's it's like to be the person who's got the camera lens focused on their every move and breath. Mary Jo helped me to feel the violation of that in a very real way. I cannot imagine what it would be like to suffer the trauma of a senseless attack, only to be attacked over and over again by a senseless media circus.

Here's somebody who survived SO many things and it's inspiring to know that she's found a way to be a happy, healthy, and whole person. She's still walking around with a bullet in her head, but seems to have an attitude of optimism and dignity that I don't think I would be able to muster under similar life circumstances. It puts my seemingly "big" problems into perspective.

The most valuable part of this book to the world, I think, is the reference to sociopathic behavior. There is probably a HUGE number of women (and men!) living with sociopaths, completely unaware that the insanity of it isn't NORMAL. It's easy to get lost in that dysfunction, because of the ability of sociopaths to charm their way out of anything. I think it is the same kind of abuse as a spouse beater, without the physical wounds, but much more damaging because it messes with your head so bad.

Bravo to Mary Jo for all that she's lived through and all that she's shared - willingly or unwillingly - on the public stage.

While I was not a big Fisher/Buttafuoco fan (missed the made-for-TV movies and most of their interviews), of course I was aware of the story--who wasn't? This memoir could have been just another version of that whole debacle, but it was so much more. Not only is it finally a version from the victim herself, but this book is more about Mary Jo figuring out how and where her life fell apart and then reinventing herself. What happened to her could have happened to anyone.

Mary Jo was just an average housewife trying to live an average life, and she ended up as a national joke because of her husband and his teenage lover. Few of us whose lives take a sharp detour have to do so under the microscope of public scrutiny, yet what choice did Mary Jo have? I wonder how many of us would have handled thing any better if we had walked in those same steps? This book dispels so many of the misconceptions I had about her life, and I found myself cheering her as she came to grips with her depression, her substance abuse, and her struggle to reinvent herself. Mary Jo's story is a testament to the power of positive thinking, the ability to be what you dream, and the capacity we all have to mold a better new life once we let go of the toxic ideas that get us nowhere. Mary Jo Buttafuoco may be a famous name, but her story could be anyone's story.

I remember the headlines and media attention brought about by the Amy Fisher case. It's refreshing to read a non-sensationalized, genuine personal account from Mary Jo Buttafuoco's perspective. We see how Mary Jo grows emotionally from a naive victim into a strong woman who accepts responsibility for her own mistakes and finds peace and forgiveness in her new life. I was pleasantly surprised by Mary Jo's insightfulness and no-nonsense approach to healing after years of being trapped in a dysfunctional relationship with a sociopath. She is an inspiration to women who suffer in any type of unhealthy relationship.

When the shooting occurred there was more publicity about Amy Fisher and Joey than Mary Jo. This book tells her story and is written with honesty. It really brought home how a person's life can change in just a second. Clearly, Mary Jo's life was never the same after the shooting, but she picked herself up and made a new life for herself. I couldn't put the book down. I highly recommend it.

Back in the day, before Jon & Kate, there was Amy Fisher (THE LONG ISLAND LOLITA) and her bluberring paramour Joey Buttafuoco. It was hard to not pick up a paper or turn on the tv without hearing about them or Joey's seemingly dopey wife Mary Jo Buttafuoco who managed to get shot by Amy. Of all the characters in this tabloid melodrama, the least flamboyant one Mary Jo seemed oddly forgotten as she almost mindlessly 'stood' by her sleezy philandering big mouthed hubby. Her facial muscles had been affected in the brutal shooting, but a lot of the tv viewing nation was wondering if there wasn't some brain damage as well.
Fast forward several years and multiple publicity stunts featuring bufooning Joey. I saw this book and my initial thought was 'more buttafuco trash'. Amazingly, as the title implies, this book was a revelation of sorts as Mary Jo told her side of the story and described how Joey managed to con her over the years and how she managed to wiggle out of the stranglehold he held her in. Obviously, this was no overnight process and even when Mary Jo had reached the end of the road with Joey, she still hadn't had Joey pegged as a sociopath. Ironically, her son called it like it was and gave Mary Jo the foundation she needed to complete her break from Joey.
What made this memoir work for me was it was easy to relate to. I've known lots of women who have come out of abusive relationships. Often they go on to repeat the pattern. I found myself cheering her on. I realized very smart people can get into lousy relationships. Mary Jo is an inspiration to a lot of women out there because she had the courage and emotional strength to revisit a painful experience and share it with others.
This is an excellent book. It fleshes out the real story and is a good read for the merely curious or anyone who is in a bad relationship. Thumbs up on this one!

"Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man."

Stand By Your Man by Tammy Wynette

Mary Jo Buttafuoco stood by her man through sex, drugs, and an assailant's bullet. And all she got in return was more of the same from her charming, but soulless husband, Joey, and scorn from the world. Before there were the O.J.-Nicole-Ron and the Scott-Laci-Amber sagas, there was the Amy Fisher-Joey and Mary Jo Buttafuoco triangle. While the who- done- it part of the shooting (Amy Fisher) was solved in a few days, the why part, as in why did Mary Jo stay with Joey remained a mystery until now.

Getting it Through My Thick Skull by Mary Jo Buttafuoco with Julie McCarron is Mary Jo's rebuttal to the naysayers. An older, wiser, and now- divorced Buttafuoco explains that for nearly thirty years she was emotionally tethered to a sociopath: her former husband Joey. Poignantly, the memoir also sheds light on the devastating toll Joey Buttafuoco's antics took on their two children.

According to Getting it Through My Thick Skull, "living with a sociopath disrupts every normal part of life --- sex, money, parenting, employment. . . ." The Buttafuocos' marriage was certainly no exception to this pattern. The book details Joey Buttafuoco's addictions to cocaine, sex, free spending, and reckless thrill-seeking. Sociopaths thrive on manipulating others through pathological lying to advance their own selfish desires or simply for kicks. As Buttafuoco relates, "if you haven't ever been under a sociopath's spell be grateful. They can charm the birds out of the trees and tell you black is white, and have you believing it."

Buttafuoco also reveals her own personal demons - an addiction to prescription pain pills and clinical depression. Later after kicking the pill addiction and forgiving Amy Fisher, Buttafuoco finally musters the courage to leave Joey. And in true fairytale fashion she finds true love.

Getting it Through My Thick Skull is both a sad tale of one family's descent into chaos at the hands of the male head-of-household and inspirational in the sense of watching Mary Jo bloom.

Good story, written well as far as her story goes. She tells many details, but it's really just her story. I admire how she works through some of her anger and hatred and takes control of her life. However there is really no information as the title suggests about how to deal with people with antisocial behavior. In fact she doesn't seem to blame Joe as much as one would think, she blames Amy Fisher, but appears to cut Joe a great deal of slack. Maybe for the sake of her children, maybe because she's worked through the issues with Joe. But she appears to enjoy and like Joe, when during the reading i was always thinking RUN! I enjoyed the story through her eyes. She was very candid. And I'm glad for her that she has come so far, and seems truly happy and healthy. It makes me see her differently than when the scandal was happening. She seems much kinder and stronger, when at the time she seemed so dilusional as to the extent of her husband's involvement with Amy, which looked like denial at it's finest. And that's not to suggest he had anything to do with her being shot, just that she seemed to believe he wasn't even having an affair. Although her anger is still primarily directed at Amy. I believe one would think, wasn't he the one ultimately responsible for bringing her into their lives?

I really wasn't prepared to care as much about this book, or the author, as I ultimately did. Actually, I was suprised at how much I really did care, and how much garbage I had heard and believed over the years since first hearing the name "Buttafuoco". It's really unfortunate that so much pain had to be endured-- both physically and emotionally-- in order for Mary Jo to get to where she is today, but I guess that's how most truly good people garner their strength. Whether or not you know about, or care about the story, and regardless of your opinions about the Buttafuoco family, this story will touch you, and you will realize that any "love of your life" that causes you repeated pain is at least a little like Joey Buttafuoco. What a scary thought. (Personally, I think I would have changed my last name as soon as possible...)

A well-written, thorough review of the sociopathic nature by someone who lived with it for 25 years. In plain language, Buttafuoco describes various manipulation and control techniques she endured without
really realizing what was happening to her. This book sheds a clear light on the characteristics of a sociopath, and really makes you realize that you have seen many more instances of this type behavior without realizing what you were seeing. Knowledge is power in protecting yourself, and this book gives the reader great insight. This book should be a starting point for any one wanting to learn about sociopathic abuse.

I originally bought this book because I am a tabloid hound. I'm all about the Enquire or Star Magazine. But this book was so much different than that. Mary Jo Buttafuoco lived a nightmare that lasted for years and the man she was married too didn't see it that way; he saw it as a rise to the top. She couldn't understand that he admitted to nothing...nothing was his fault or someone set him up. Even when he was busted by the police he insisted it still wasn't his fault. But that's what a Sociopath is; they deny everything but everything they do is exciting. Little do they know, they are hurting the people who love them the most. I highly recommend this book and you will see Mary Jo in a whole different light though your preception of Joey is probably right on target.