Getting Unstuck: How Dead Ends Become New Paths [Hardcover]

Timothy Butler (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 14, 2007

You will experience psychological impasse many times in your life. During these times, you have the sensation that you're stuck or paralyzed. You're convinced that something must change, whether in your work or personal life. Though this feeling is normal, you need to move beyond it. Failure to "get unstuck" can put your career and personal life - as well as the healthy functioning of your team or organisation - at risk. In "Getting Unstuck", business psychologist and researcher Timothy Butler offers strategies for moving beyond a career or personal-life impasse - by recognising the state of impasse, awakening your imagination, recognising patterns of meaning in your life, and taking action for change. Drawing on a wealth of stories about individuals who have successfully transitioned out of impasses, "Getting Unstuck" provides a practical, authoritative road map for moving past your immediate impasse - and defining a meaningful path forward.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Butler, a psychotherapist and director of Career Development at Harvard Business School, says it's the ruts and dead ends in life that can provide motivation for the greatest change-provided you're willing to dig deep and confront unresolved issues from the past. Though it isn't an easy process, this self-help proves uncommonly fresh and thought-provoking. Butler's approach is built around a practical six-step process that he's used with thousands of corporate executives and students, who provide anecdotes and experiences. The book is divided into three sections: in the first, readers learn how to identify a psychological impasse and open themselves to the possibilities it hides; part two focuses on unearthing passions and interests that have been forgotten or buried; and part three is about "Moving from Impasse to Action," achieving the ultimate goal of change through a heightened awareness of "the energies and possibilities that are emerging, regardless of their threat to habit, comfort and stereotyped expectations." In the end, the real challenge may be in winnowing a single path from the wealth of options Butler uncovers.
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Review

...what Butler offers are really some very practical approaches to breaking the career impasse. --Washington Post, April 1, 2007

Getting Unstuck draw[s] you through the currents and undercurrents of impasse, offering hope, inspiration and a few memorable tools as a bonus. --Globe & Mail, July 13, 2007

…a culture that values relentless work and connectivity squeezes out the time we need for soul-searching… --The Boston Globe, September 23, 2007

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 204 pages
• Publisher: Harvard Business School Press; 1 edition (March 14, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1422102254
• ISBN-13: 978-1422102251
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.5 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #391,745 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

59 of 61 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Probably best explored with guidance..., April 3, 2007

By 

Thomas Duff "Duffbert" (Portland, OR United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Getting Unstuck: How Dead Ends Become New Paths (Hardcover)

There comes a time (or many times, actually) in everyone's life when things appear to be at a dead end. You know you don't want to be where you're at, but you're in a quandary about how to move on. That's the subject of the book Getting Unstuck: How Dead Ends Become New Paths by Timothy Butler. If you're willing to work his process and exercises, you may well find that "new path" to take you to the next level.

Contents:
Part 1 - Impasse: Facing Crisis; Feeling Stuck and Doubting Ourselves; Opening Up and Letting Go; Shifting to a New Understanding
Part 2 - Vision: Our Deepest Interests (The First Pattern in the Carpet); Learning to Let Our Passions Guide Us; Power, People, and Achievement (Three Interwoven Patterns); Mapping Our Insights (Patterns in the Sand)
Part 3 - Getting Unstuck: Moving from Impasse to Action; Living at the Border
Appendixes: Continuing the Journey (An Annotated Bibliography); A Note on Impasse and Depression; Scoring the One Hundred Jobs Exercise
Notes; Index; About the Author

Butler is a researcher and business psychologist who works with people who have hit a "dead end" in their life. Many of the stories in the book involve students who have gone to business school, have a number of options in front of them, but nothing seems quite right. His approach to getting unstuck is to allow the inner thoughts and passions to direct us towards what we probably already know the answer to be, but we just haven't tuned into it. Many of these exercises are covered in sidebar entries called "deep dives". These sidebars go into detail about how an exercise works and how to do it. For instance, "free attention" is the technique of allowing your focus to reside on a particular part of the body, letting the sensations and feelings wash over you without judgement. When your mind wanders, you've lost your free attention and need to refocus on the body part. This then shifts to focus on breathing, and the goal is to let emotions run their course and learn from them. Another technique is paying attention to images that form in your mind. These images can often be formed from deeper core feelings and emotions, and taking the time to reflect and analyze them can cast light on your situation and point to a new path. Probably one of the most in-depth exercises is the 100 Jobs list. You choose 12 jobs from a list of 100 that appeal to you on an emotional basis. Scoring the exercise involves categorizing the types of attributes that make up those jobs. By grouping and classifying the different underlying traits, you'll see trends such as leadership, persuasion, coaching, etc. These trends can then be used to examine your direction and make corrections...

On the whole, the ideas are solid. I can see where working through the process could lead to dramatic changes that might not be explored by a more cursory examination of your life. But while the book is designed to be used on your own, I think it'd work best if you had someone skilled in these techniques working with you. It's hard to be objective about your own mind, and an external viewpoint would help keep things focused. I also think that the material would appeal most to business professionals who are at a career crisis. Most of the material is slanted towards job-related issues, and the stories are largely about college and grad school students. While anyone could use these ideas in various areas of their lives, I think the "average" person might find it all a bit daunting...

83 of 91 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars How to avoid a dead end or to find a better path to follow, March 10, 2007

By 

Robert Morris (Dallas, Texas) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Getting Unstuck: How Dead Ends Become New Paths (Hardcover)

Well before reading the final chapter of this book, I concluded that Timothy Butler is both a relentless empiricist (i.e. being keenly observant of human experience, especially his own) and a relentless pragmatist (i.e. leveraging this experience to apply lessons learned in terms of what works...and what doesn't). In the Introduction he focuses on the six phases of what he characterizes as "The Cycle of Impasse." They are (1) the arrival of the [given] crisis and impasse, (2) its deepening and the attendant re-emergence of unresolved issues, (3) the dropping of old assumptions and the opening up to new information, (4) the shift to a new way of understanding our situation, (5) the greater recognition of deep patterns of our personality, and eventuaolly (6) the decision to take concrete action." Once having carefully presented the "what," Butler then focuses almost all of his attention on the "how" of "getting unstuck."

It is important to keep in mind that as Butler duly acknowledges, crises vary (sometimes significantly) in terms of their relative importance; also, impasses also vary in terms of their nature and extent; moreover, "getting unstuck" from one crisis does not mean that it will never recur; in addition, most people find themselves struggling to cope with more than one crisis at a time; finally, and obviously, its is highly advisable to prevent a crisis, if at all possible, and thus eliminate the need to get "unstuck" from one.

The subtitle suggests another interesting aspect of this book's appeal: "How Dead Ends Become New Paths." I am among those who believe that every problem and, especially, every failure offers an invaluable learning opportunity. Long ago, Jack Dempsey suggested that "champions get up when they can't." More recently Warren Bennis and Robert Thomas, in Geeks and Geezers and then in Leading for a Lifetime, assert that most (if not all) great leaders - at one time - experienced a "crucible" which forged qualities of character they would not otherwise develop. In Authentic Leadership and then in True North, Bill George makes essentially the same point. With all due respect to Yogi Berra (reputed to have suggested that "When you get to a fork in the road, take it"), what seem to be "dead ends" can become "new paths" if - huge if -- we can summon the courage and sustain the determination to take "concrete action."

To this last point, Butler insists - and I agree - that "our lives do not change without action. The impasse crisis has its resolution in a decision to make specific choices that change our day-to-day reality...Know what the action needs to be, and actually performing it, is what seals the cycle of learning and change and allows us to move forward."

I commend Butler for providing three valuable appendices: "Continuing the Journey" (an annotated bibliography), "A Note on Impasse and Depression" (differences between symptoms of clinical depression and symptoms at impasse), and "Scoring the One Hundred Jobs Exercise" (a self-diagnostic to accompany an exercise in Chapter 4). All of those who read this book find themselves "stuck" from time to time. On occasion, the "impasse" is minor and only temporary (e.g. missing several days at work because of having the flu). On other occasions, the situation is much more serious and seems hopeless, or at least daunting (e.g. an extended period of unemployment as bills pile up). Butler seems genuinely determined to help his readers cope effectively with all manner of crises, especially those which may seem hopeless. Obviously, it remains for each reader to determine the value of this book to her or his own circumstances.

When thinking about the many benefits that Butler's book offers, I am reminded of a prayer generally thought to have been composed by Reinhold Niebuhr: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

37 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Unstuck but not yet moving forward, February 29, 2008

By 

Dr Cathy Goodwin (Seattle, WA USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Getting Unstuck: How Dead Ends Become New Paths (Hardcover)

Butler's book has one of the best cover images I've see i awhile. A fish leaps into the air, leaving behind other fish swimming peacefully in their glass bowl. At first he seems bent on self-destruction, till we realize another bowl is waiting to receive him. It's mostly hidden at the edge of the page and it's emptier.

The image is appropriate bcause Butler's book ultimately is about finding vision and image. He keeps referring to the Hundred Careers exercise: choose your top 12 from a list of 100. Then (and this is the important part) uncover common themes.

Usually I get nervous when career counselors urge clients to work with specific choices, because most people carry inaccurate stereotypes of careers with them. Accountants can be extraverted and sales people can be shy. But I sense that Butler works with each person's unique perceptions of the careers, although he doesn't say so directly.

Another reviewer suggests that a reader might need a guide to work through the process. I'm more concerned about translating insight into action. If you're an artist trapped in a banking career, how do you carry out the exploration you need? How do you find your new life? OK, a creative decides to become a freelance artist, but things get a little more complicated in real life. Every freelancer I know (including me) has to deal with creating systems to get the work done, marketing, staying motivated, and dealing with dumb things like more ink for the printer and why hasn't the bank transferred over your account forms.

Of course, vision can be compelling. A strong vision can motivate career changers to find solutions, sometimes almost effortlessly.

I can't help comparing this book to Herminia Ibarra's book, Working Identity, also published by Harvard Universiety Press. Ibarra emphasizes the zig zag pattern of actions most people take to find their next careers. Most people I know operate that way. They just take one step at a time till they realize that somehow they've landed where they're supposed to be.

Ibarra also targets midlife career changers -- people who have achieved some success and accomplishment. This book seems directed to younger people who have less at stake. For example, a 35-year-old woman who leaves a high-powered financial career to become a high school teacher, reducing her income from $106K to $34K. Some people make those kinds of moves and never look back. Others realize they miss the lifestyle of the larger salary. Still others get bogged down by conditions of working, like paperwork.

I can't help wondering how this woman will feel when she's in her fifties and sixties. And I hope she likes teaching, because it's going to be hard to make a shift back to the corporate world from just about anything else.

Definitely Getting Unstuck holds value for people at the early stages of their career searches. I would recommend it to anyone who's looking for a new way to think about career change. But I've seen people who need to get unstuck not just from their jobs but from their analysis. Exploring possibilities is fun. Translating them to realities - and living with the aftermath - gets a whole lot more complicated.