Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: A Twelve Step Guide to Divorce Recovery [Paperback]

Micki McWade (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 1, 1999

Borrowing the wisdom gained in the development of 12 step programs, Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: A Twelve Step Guide to Divorce Recovery offeres learned and proven support. For over 50 years, 12 Step Programs have helped millions of people work through difficult and painful situations. Now, these 12 Steps can help the many Americans who are left pain-filled after a divorce. Author Micki McWade adapts the best techniques, information and life-lessons of long established recovery programs, to provide a concise and compreshensive pathway toward a fulfilling life after divorce. Whether during teh painful days of the divorce itself, or in the adaptive weeks and months that follow, McWade offers valuable ideas that apply to the workplace, to relationships with children and in-laws, and to (ex) spouses as well.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On is an easy-to-read book in which the 12-steps are artfully applied to divorce recovery." -- Pamela D. Blair, Psychotherapist & Director, Divorce Resource Network - Publisher, Surviving Divorce newsletter Contributing Editor, Divorce NY/NJ Magazine

"A Godsend for all those moving through the transition of divorce." -- Mel Schwartz C.S.W. Psychotherapist and author of The Art of Intimacy, The Pleasure of Passion

"McWade creates the possibility of healing. I highly recommend you accept her invitation to recovery." -- Linda Seaver, MPS, ATR

About the Author

When Micki was separated in 1990, she had been married for twenty-three years and had four adolescent children. Many people said, "You'd better get a good lawyer and get ready to fight." By that time, she had been a member of Al-Anon and had been practicing the Twelve Steps for five years and she knew there was a better way. She used this gentle philosophy to guide her through her separation and divorce and realized how helpful the Steps could be in creating a feeling of serenity-a commodity in short supply during divorce.

Micki McWade is a graphic artist and writer, a mother of four grown children, and married to her second husband, Gary Ditlow. She lives in New York.

Product Details

• Paperback: 184 pages
• Publisher: Champion Press (WI) (April 1, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1891400134
• ISBN-13: 978-1891400131
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.3 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #925,230 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Micki is a Collaborative Divorce coach, psychotherapist, author, parent educator and clinical social worker with a practice in New York that focuses on divorce issues. She works with matrimonial attorneys to help clients divorce with dignity as part of the interdisciplinary team model of Collaborative Divorce. She has an extensive background in divorce, having founded and developed the Twelve Step Divorce Recovery Group model which has been operating since 1993 as well as participating in 125 Collaborative cases. She supervises Twelve Step Divorce Recovery groups and teaches Parents Apart classes for the Putnam County court, which help parents recognize and avoid the pitfalls of divorce for children.

Micki has been on the faculty of numerous national conferences and her books include Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: A Twelve Step Guide to Divorce Recovery, Daily Meditations for Surviving a Breakup, Separation or Divorce, Healing You, Healing Me: A Divorce Support Group Leader's Guide and Moving Towards Mastery in Collaborative Divorce.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Living Life after the Facade of Fantasy Fades, August 31, 2004

By 

Rebecca Johnson "The Rebecca Review" (Washington State) - See all my reviews
(COMMUNITY FORUM 04)    (TOP 50 REVIEWER)    (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: A Twelve Step Guide to Divorce Recovery (Paperback)

My hope for you is that you will find strength and comfort within these steps. They offer practical suggestions for getting through the tumult and minimizing long-term damage to you and your family. ~Micki McWade

Micki McWade was thrown into an extremely precarious and vulnerable position when she and her husband separated in the fall of 1990. Through overwhelming grief, she struggled through a breakup that was more trying than she had ever anticipated.

At that time she was a member of Al-Anon (a support group for families of alcoholics) and was practicing the Twelve Steps. This helped her to clarify what she was going through, reduced her inner turmoil and helped to create some semblance of peace. After experiencing divorce first-hand, she decided to create a support group for separated and divorced individuals who needed advice, friendship and hope.

In the first chapter, Micki presents a basic understanding of the divorce situation. For women, this can often mean a loss of income, immense grief and the loss of major support systems present when you marry into another family. She explains how she felt, how others feel and what you might be experiencing. This chapter also briefly delves into the are of spirituality (a higher power) and then concludes with the serenity prayer.

Chapter two explains the Twelve Step Recovery Program and lists the steps. Chapter Three takes each step and explains it in depth.

Throughout this book, you will find prayers, inspirational quotes, a deep understanding of the issues at hand and an immense helping of encouragement. Women are especially vulnerable in divorce situations and Micki's story is all too typical of what happens to many women when they have stayed home to take care of their children and been a support to their husbands. If she could survive her divorce, I think anyone could as long as they were patient with themselves. So, this book can give women hope.

In the second section there are tools for recovery that include information on how to create a support group. Chapter five gives four main slogans and explanations for how these can be used in the support group setting for discussion. Chapter seven is filled with personal stories of women who experienced divorce and Susan had an interesting idea about "the person who emotionally leaves the relationship is the initiator."

If you are looking for support during a very difficult time in your life, this book can help you free yourself from your past and encourage spiritual growth. I can also recommend "Daily Meditations: For Surviving a Breakup, Separation or Divorce."

~The Rebecca Review

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Recovery Model Can Help Divorced Adults, May 20, 2007

By 

Dr. David Frisbie (Rancho Santa Fe, CA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: A Twelve Step Guide to Divorce Recovery (Paperback)

Typical recovery programs focus on issues like alcohol or drug addiction, or perhaps sexual addiction. The twelve-step model is well-known, and despite some critics --- it works very well for many, many people -- every day.

The author shares her own experience and then blends in the concepts and ideas of twelve-step recovery programs. Sprinkled throughout the pages are thoughts, ideas, prayers, inspirations, words of encouragement. The result is a very effective read for anyone who is experiencing a divorce and its aftermath.

We were not familiar with this author before picking up this book; however on reading it carefully we can recommend it. The book is well done; the information is extremely encouraging, and the 'recovery model' applies well to the stages of moving forward after divorce.

Dr. David & Lisa Frisbie
The Center for Marriage & Family Studies
Authors of 8 books, including Moving Forward After Divorce: Practical Steps to * Healing Your Hurts * Finding Fresh Perspective * Managing Your New Life

8 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Very Helpful Book, October 22, 2003

By 

blake bonderont (Philadelphia PA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: A Twelve Step Guide to Divorce Recovery (Paperback)

Micki McWade has written a very insightful book on how to get yourself out of the fog of worry and depression and getting back to living. The 'I AM' statements and the idea of 'turning it over' to God truly help to keep you in a positive-thinking frame of mind.