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Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: A Twelve Step Guide to Divorce Recovery Paperback – August 11, 2011


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Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: A Twelve Step Guide to Divorce Recovery + Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You + Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends, 3rd Edition (Rebuilding Books; For Divorce and Beyond)
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 172 pages
  • Publisher: AuthorHouse Publishing (August 11, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 146344768X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1463447687
  • Product Dimensions: 0.4 x 5 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #130,021 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On is an easy-to-read book in which the 12-steps are artfully applied to divorce recovery." -- Pamela D. Blair, Psychotherapist & Director, Divorce Resource Network - Publisher, Surviving Divorce newsletter Contributing Editor, Divorce NY/NJ Magazine

"A Godsend for all those moving through the transition of divorce." -- Mel Schwartz C.S.W. Psychotherapist and author of The Art of Intimacy, The Pleasure of Passion

"McWade creates the possibility of healing. I highly recommend you accept her invitation to recovery." -- Linda Seaver, MPS, ATR --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

I wrote this book to share the wisdom I originally gained in Al-Anon and from facilitating a Twelve Step Divorce Recovery Group for nine years. Having practiced the Twelve Steps in daily life, I realized they can be applied to divorce as well as addiction and were immensely helpful to me and to everyone who used them. The Twelve Steps were a roadmap for me as I navigated my way through my own divorce. I wanted to divorce differently from the war stories I had heard. Four children were between us and we owed it to them to be good co-parents. There were few examples of a 'good divorce' for me to follow so I used the familiar Twelve Step tools to guide me. For example, I was powerless over others but have power in my own life; when overwhelmed, take it a day at a time; and to be grateful for what is good in my life. Friends often commented on how sensible our divorce was. It wasn't easy but we avoided doing further damage to our relationship. We had to maintain decency for the sake of the many times we would be together in the future. I am remarried, live in Garrison, New York and work as a writer, psychotherapist and Collaborative Divorce Coach. I also help people establish Twelve Step Divorce Recovery groups. My books include Daily Meditations for Surviving a Breakup, Separation or Divorce, Healing You, Healing Me: A Divorce Group Leaders Guide and Moving Towards Mastery in Collaborative Divorce.

More About the Author

Micki is a Collaborative Divorce coach, psychotherapist, author, parent educator and clinical social worker with a practice in New York that focuses on divorce issues. She works with matrimonial attorneys to help clients divorce with dignity as part of the interdisciplinary team model of Collaborative Divorce. She has an extensive background in divorce, having founded and developed the Twelve Step Divorce Recovery Group model which has been operating since 1993 as well as participating in 125 Collaborative cases. She supervises Twelve Step Divorce Recovery groups and teaches Parents Apart classes for the Putnam County court, which help parents recognize and avoid the pitfalls of divorce for children.

Micki has been on the faculty of numerous national conferences and her books include Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: A Twelve Step Guide to Divorce Recovery, Daily Meditations for Surviving a Breakup, Separation or Divorce, Healing You, Healing Me: A Divorce Support Group Leader's Guide and Moving Towards Mastery in Collaborative Divorce.

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 29 people found the following review helpful By Rebecca of Amazon HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on August 31, 2004
Format: Paperback
My hope for you is that you will find strength and comfort within these steps. They offer practical suggestions for getting through the tumult and minimizing long-term damage to you and your family. ~Micki McWade

Micki McWade was thrown into an extremely precarious and vulnerable position when she and her husband separated in the fall of 1990. Through overwhelming grief, she struggled through a breakup that was more trying than she had ever anticipated.

At that time she was a member of Al-Anon (a support group for families of alcoholics) and was practicing the Twelve Steps. This helped her to clarify what she was going through, reduced her inner turmoil and helped to create some semblance of peace. After experiencing divorce first-hand, she decided to create a support group for separated and divorced individuals who needed advice, friendship and hope.

In the first chapter, Micki presents a basic understanding of the divorce situation. For women, this can often mean a loss of income, immense grief and the loss of major support systems present when you marry into another family. She explains how she felt, how others feel and what you might be experiencing. This chapter also briefly delves into the are of spirituality (a higher power) and then concludes with the serenity prayer.

Chapter two explains the Twelve Step Recovery Program and lists the steps. Chapter Three takes each step and explains it in depth.

Throughout this book, you will find prayers, inspirational quotes, a deep understanding of the issues at hand and an immense helping of encouragement.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Dr. David Frisbie on May 20, 2007
Format: Paperback
Typical recovery programs focus on issues like alcohol or drug addiction, or perhaps sexual addiction. The twelve-step model is well-known, and despite some critics --- it works very well for many, many people -- every day.

The author shares her own experience and then blends in the concepts and ideas of twelve-step recovery programs. Sprinkled throughout the pages are thoughts, ideas, prayers, inspirations, words of encouragement. The result is a very effective read for anyone who is experiencing a divorce and its aftermath.

We were not familiar with this author before picking up this book; however on reading it carefully we can recommend it. The book is well done; the information is extremely encouraging, and the 'recovery model' applies well to the stages of moving forward after divorce.

Dr. David & Lisa Frisbie
The Center for Marriage & Family Studies
Authors of 8 books, including Moving Forward After Divorce: Practical Steps to * Healing Your Hurts * Finding Fresh Perspective * Managing Your New Life
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Lawrence R. Wilson on April 1, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The 12 step method is a tried and true way of recovering from a life tragedy. It certainly helped me
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Jacqueline L. Mayo on July 23, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I LOVED this book!!, form the 1st pg I felt like she reading my mind, currently going through divorce & as a secular read in conjunction w/ spiritual I recommend this book!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By D. Spencer on September 23, 2008
Format: Paperback
Never would have related divorce to a 12 step program but I guess love is an addiction. I found the information helpful in coping with my lifestyle adjustment.
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8 of 12 people found the following review helpful By blake bonderont on October 22, 2003
Format: Paperback
Micki McWade has written a very insightful book on how to get yourself out of the fog of worry and depression and getting back to living. The 'I AM' statements and the idea of 'turning it over' to God truly help to keep you in a positive-thinking frame of mind.
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By CuzzinOak on May 5, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Really good simplified steps to recover from a lost relationship and get you back on track to living your life.
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Format: Paperback
When I first heard of Micki McWade's book Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: A Twelve Step Guide to Divorce Recovery, my first thought was, "Of course the Twelve Steps would help people cope with divorce. Why didn't anyone think of this before?" That thought comes not because I've ever dealt with divorce--I admit to never having been married--but because I know from personal experience how powerful the Twelve Steps are, having worked through them myself for workaholism, and knowing many people who have benefitted from them in programs like AA and Al-Anon. So even though I have never gone through divorce, I know the stress, anxiety, and loss that people undergo that the Twelve Steps help people with, and I can affirm that this book will be a great help to countless people in learning how to deal with the losses experienced by divorce.

Micki McWade herself first decided to apply the Twelve Steps (originating in Alcoholics Anonymous and used with slight modification by many other Twelve Step groups today including Gamblers Anonymous, Codependents Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous, and countless others) because she was familiar with the Steps from Al-Anon, and her knowledge of them helped her to get through her own divorce. She explains the Steps' relevance to divorce by stating that they help people to cope with loss--alcoholics undergo the loss of alcohol in their lives; for me, I had to let go of the adrenaline rush of overworking in my life--and for divorced people, it is the loss of a spouse and everything else associated with that situation, which might include a loss of friends, one's in-laws, financial losses, the loss of one's home, etc.
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