Start reading Getting Waisted on the free Kindle Reading App or on your Kindle in under a minute. Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here.

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

Enter a promotion code
or gift card
 
 
 

Try it free

Sample the beginning of this book for free

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

Sorry, this item is not available in
Image not available for
Color:
Image not available
 

Getting Waisted [Kindle Edition]

Monica Parker
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (58 customer reviews)

Digital List Price: $15.95 What's this?
Print List Price: $15.95
Kindle Price: $9.99
You Save: $5.96 (37%)

Free Kindle Reading App Anybody can read Kindle books—even without a Kindle device—with the FREE Kindle app for smartphones, tablets and computers.

To get the free app, enter your email address or mobile phone number.

Formats

Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition $9.99  
Paperback $2.29  
Conquering Chaos by Catelynn Lowell
Conquering Chaos by Catelynn Lowell
The epilogue of the story that began on MTV's 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom: Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra share their story. Learn more | See similar books

Book Description

Monica Parker bridges the divide between serial dieter's survival guide and memoir, taking readers on a hilariously funny yet bumpy ride from chubby baby to chunky adult.

In Getting Waisted, Monica begins every chapter with a diet she committed to and reveals how much weight, money, and self-esteem she lost, then she tells how much weight she gained when she fell off the wagon. After all, "no one tells a short person to get taller, or a tall person to get shorter, but fat people hear about their bodies all the time."  From Living Large in a size zero world to jumping into the dating pool without causing a tidal wave of angst, Monica learns that when you stop buying what the diet-devils are selling and start liking yourself, life is far more rewarding. When Mr. Right appears out of thin air, will she run back to the catalogue of Mr. Wrongs out of fear?  Readers will laugh and cry as she realizes that while she thought it was her body that was in the way, it was really what she kept in her head that needed adjusting.

Ultimately, Getting Waisted is an inspirational look at life through society's warped fun-house mirror, but Monica's reflection tells the real tale: everyone is always under construction and we are all flawed, chipped, and dented, but that doesn't mean we're not interesting, vital, and sexy.



Editorial Reviews

Review

"My dear friend Monica Parker, the hilarious humorist, Mother Hen to me, Gilda Radner, Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara, John Candy―all of us when we started out in Toronto―has written a book about truly finding yourself, being content with who you are, and developing an enduring sense of self-esteem."

Dan Aykroyd comedian, actor, and original cast member of Saturday Night Live

(Endorsement)

"Funny, frank, and refreshingly honest, Getting Waisted is Monica Parker's audacious memoir about her lifelong love/hate relationship with her body. But this book isn't really about being fat; it's about being human, and every woman who has ever used food to sate an emotional emptiness, or longed for self-acceptance, should read it."

Jillian Medoff, bestselling author of I Couldn't Love You More and Hunger Point

(Endorsement)

"I love Monica's humor, her honesty, and―better―her truth. That love letter to her unexpected boyfriend is something every woman will want to live. I love her compassionate, funny, sharp, beautiful, and romantic voice. It'll make sooo many women feel they are not alone."

Katie Ford, writer/producer of the box-office smash, Miss Congeniality, and the renowned TV series, Desperate Housewives

(Endorsement)

"Monica Parker brings a human―and funny―face to the body politic that dictates that happiness and acceptance derive only from a slim physique.  She courageously mines her life experience, in and out of the public eye, not only exposing her vulnerabilities but also  revealing her resilience and hard-won self-acceptance. Monica's story inspires and her message is truly off the scale."

―David J. Pilon, Ph.D., 2012 president, Eating Disorders Association of Canada-Association des Troubles Alimentaire du Canada

(Endorsement)

"Monica Parker's work is outstanding. What she writes about mirrors the experience of many, and her capture of it is clever, poignant, and leaves her readers feeling like we belong. I've listened to the reaction of her audiences―it's as if she's been inside their heads. She says it as others have experienced it: all the silly, hurtful, and consuming monkey-talk we put ourselves through by not accepting who we are. Monica evokes a full spectrum of emotion: 'Did she really say that?' 'Aren't we suppose to keep that to ourselves?' 'I thought I was the only one who felt different/lesser/odd…' Thank you, Monica, for exposing our nutty ways through your humor and naked honesty. It inspires me, and others, to become more and more of who we really are meant to be. "

―Christie Andrus, M.A., president, The Human Factor

(Endorsement)

"Thank God Monica Parker has turned her revelatory one-woman show into a hilarious memoir. At times both gobsmacking and inspiring, it's a story for any human who has struggled with 'fitting in' and gaining ever elusive self-acceptance and love."

―Sarah Rafferty, actress, 'Donna Paulson' on USA Network's hit drama Suits

(Endorsement)

"Ever known a female worried about losing her virginity, bathing suits, and finding Prince Charming while battling body issues? Ever known a female who hasn't?

"Meet Monica Parker, the brilliant, witty, and perceptive woman who has gifted us with a hysterically funny, painfully honest, and outrageous true-life memoir of her life lived well and large. Getting Waisted leads us on Monica's raucously hilarious journey, from Scotland, to Toronto, and then to Beverly Hills―a fat girl growing into a fat woman, hungry for love and life while struggling with scores of diets tried and failed.

"But because Monica is a gifted writer, right up there in the Pantheon with Nora Ephron and Carrie Fisher, there's more than laughter here. This is ultimately a story, populated by a parade of incredible characters, about breaking free from societal stereotypes to embracing who you are, and living life on your own terms. Parker has done that with enormous charm, wit and humor, emerging as a happy and successful actress, writer, producer, and inspirational speaker living an extraordinary life―and with her Prince Charming at her side.

"She beat the odds, and after reading this wonderful book, I think I can too!"

―Arlene Sarner, award-winning screenwriter/playwright/producer

(Endorsement)

"Getting Waisted is funny as hell, and the good news is, it's not just for big girls. It's a welcome tonic for anyone who has ever looked in the mirror and felt insecure . . . hello skinny, flat-chested girls with cat-eye glasses! Her adventures through self-doubt and into the sunshine of self-love are full of sass and panache. She's a cheerleader of the 'don't let 'em get you down' school of survival, and the BFF we all want on the other end of the line. So let's have a piece of chocolate, reapply that red lipstick, and get out there and give 'em hell, girls! Life's a cake and Monica wants more. I'll have what she's having!"

―Wendy Crewson, award-winning actress (Endorsement)

"Play the hand you've been dealt. Heard it before? It's never rung so true as from this very funny, brutally honest voice. In Getting Waisted, Monica Parker shares 'the 101 humiliations it cost her to create the evolved woman' she's become. She finds a comedic take on most of those mortifying events, and chalks up the rest to the fire needed for the forge. Few of us escape the curse of comparison, especially with the media bombarding us with impossible standards of beauty and lifestyle, but Ms. Parker, in true Rabelaisian spirit, inspires us to get on with it, to accept and forgive. What an amusing kick in the ass!"

―Kerrie Keane, artistic director, White Buffalo Theatre Company (Endorsement)

About the Author

Monica Parker  is an actor, writer, and producer in theatre, television, and film, most notably All Dogs Go to Heaven. She was born and raised in Glasgow, Scotland, until the age of thirteen when she immigrated with her parents to Toronto, Canada. Monica is currently starring in her insightful and funny one woman show, Sex, Pies & A Few White Lies, which premiered in 2010. Monica has just completed two features already under option, and has a recurring role on ScyFy's Defiance. Monica lives with her long-time husband and saint, Gilles.


Product Details

  • File Size: 1087 KB
  • Print Length: 290 pages
  • Publisher: HCI; 1 edition (April 1, 2014)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00ITTU3E2
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #679,887 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  •  Would you like to give feedback on images?


Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
(58)
4.5 out of 5 stars
Share your thoughts with other customers
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
13 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Monica Parker's book April 15, 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
So a week ago I was well into a Big Book, you know the kind: New York Times/PBS/NPR reviews and praise; best seller lists and all that. I was totally engrossed by it and was intent on happily plowing through it to the end.

But then the gods of Amazon delivered Getting Waisted only a couple of days after I'd ordered it. So I opened it, intending to
merely sample the first chapter, set it aside for later and go back to finishing the BB. Which I did. But something interesting
happened: I went to sample just one more chapter of your book. And then another. And then…

An hour ago I finished my non-stop reading of Getting Waisted, having set aside that Big Book days ago. Yours was far more magnetic. You have written a deeply moving, compelling book. A book that few people could have written simply because of the searing demands of insight, honesty, and the rare ability to convey them with talent and humour.

Well done.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny, Smart & Real April 8, 2014
Format:Paperback
Monica Parker's new book is funny, smart and real. Although I don't share a lot of the experiences Parker writes about in her book, it didn't keep me from loving it. She has a wicked, wonderful sense of humor, that shines through even during the toughest times. As does her intelligence. What I liked best about "Getting Waisted" though, was how real it was. Parker is a straight shooter, never playing the victim card, never hiding behind the events of her past. Instead, she lays them out in a way that anyone can appreciate, whether you've struggled with your weight your whole life, like Parker, or not. Reading Monica Parker's memoir makes you feel like you're spending time with her, laughing & crying over blintzes and smuggled ham, which is good, because after you read this memoir you DO want to spend time with her. Highly recommend.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Reading the funny blurbs, I figured this was a talented youngster bursting onto the literary scene. When I realized that she was born in the post-WWII years, I wondered where she's been hiding. Then I read the bio and the bulb went on. She's a television writer - one of the unsung heroes who come up with the witty lines delivered by actors and actresses and enjoyed (and sometimes quoted) by the rest of us. And nobody knows who they are except for entertainment industry insiders!

Her story of her bizarre family and her struggle to find her place in the sun is funny and heart-felt. I'll admit that once or twice I thought she should just go to a therapist and get her head on straight and I don't think she ever really addresses that satisfactorily. However, she has a long-term, happy marriage, a grown son, and a great career, so maybe she knew what she was doing after all.

Sometimes she comes across as whiny and entitled and unreasonable, but that's her hyper-emotional, Middle-European heritage coming to the forefront. (Her Scots genes clearly never had a chance!) I think she would be a difficult person to live with, but she found a man who appreciates her and more power to both of them.

Some of the diets she references are familiar and some new to me, but it really doesn't matter. It's not a book about being fat or skinny, but a book about a woman learning to be comfortable in her own skin. Our society sends wildly mixed messages to young women and it's a rare woman under forty who isn't still trying to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up.

It's a fast, funny, and sometimes shocking read. You may or may not agree with her or sympathize with her, but I'm betting you won't put this one down until you finish it!
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Memoir May 20, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition
Monica Parker's life has been punctuated by a series of diets and a constant war with her body. From her childhood with an overbearing, status-conscious mother, to an adulthood in Hollywood, Parker has spent her life believing that she deserves nothing because of her size.

Parker is charming and witty. She brings the reader through her life, defined by self-hatred. Parker can't quite believe that her husband could possibly love her.

This book made my heart ache and made me laugh, often at the same time. I felt for Parker. She is entertaining and perceptive. her story is so common, and yet Parker is able to tell it with an unusual degree of flair. I hope Parker writes more books, I will certainly read them.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A great read! May 27, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition
I started this book and could not put it down. It had me laughing and crying, sometimes at the same time! It's entertaining, poignant, beautiful and well written. Each character is painted so clearly, sometimes with just a brushstroke. She's honest and insightful. This book is one not to be missed.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
Getting Waisted, A Survival Guide to Being Fat in a Society That Loves Thin by Monica Parker I received a free copy from Net Galley for fair review.

I gave it a five star rating. It has the ring of truth throughout. It's a comedic & sometimes tragic memoir of surviving in a society that is obsessed with thinness. The author's account should be read by everyone thin or fat that confronts prejudice & deals with insecurities.

In a weight obsessed society, there are countless people who can relate to her words. While she used humor as a line of defense, sometimes the words were 'hard to stomach'.

Here is an example of her frank sharing. "Unconsciously, I developed a personality resistant to failure; like a child's Bop Bag I stood up each time I was knocked down, and each time I grew stronger, funnier, and more powerful in my conviction that I was going to dazzle the world on my own terms. But this didn't happen without a few scratches, dents, and dings along the way."

If you want warm & fuzzy, this is not the book for you. It is often razor sharp & edged with barbs. This is not to say I did not like it. It is five star reading all the way through.

After a relentlessly harsh rejection from an agent in Hollywood she wrote: "Whatever confidence I had built up from having the best, most amazing husband & some success as a writer & actress, was now shattered."

It's so easy to allow the opinions of others to affect self-image & confidence. Her peace with herself was hard won. There are valuable insights throughout this book.

Bravo for offering tools for survival & thanks for making them available. This book can be utilized by anyone struggling with self acceptance.

Here is a potential creed to get through it all."Say grace & have grace. Bring back food. Bring back joy. Simple food & simple pleasures."

Reviews on Amazon, goodreads, google & facebook.
[...]
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Honest
Very honest book about the reality of weight, yo yo dieting, and fad versus fashion. It has inspired me to look at myself.
Published 28 days ago by Lisa M. Peto
5.0 out of 5 stars Buy This Book Now!!!!
For every weight loss plan out there - there is a seduction. Some work (for a time) and some don’t, but we pay, pay, pay and Monica Parker’s incredibly real and hilarious novel... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Deborah S. Sussex
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Loved this book. Entertaining and had some serious notes to it as well. Overall very good read.
Published 4 months ago by Leanne
1.0 out of 5 stars ... far into the book before I decided to not waste any more time with...
Wasn't about to get very far into the book before I decided to not waste any more time with it.
Published 5 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
very good I only weigh 118 but really like this book
Published 5 months ago by stormy Daze
5.0 out of 5 stars very intriguing read!
Great perspective, good insight and entertaining. Body image and diet tend to rule our world whether we want it to or not.
Published 6 months ago by Kimberly Sherrell
1.0 out of 5 stars I really wanted to like this book
I really wanted to like this book. The premise is great, I love a true story, but I just couldn't get there. As a matter of fact, I didn't even finish it. Read more
Published 6 months ago by CarliAlice
4.0 out of 5 stars Eyeopener
I have been dieting off and on for the last forty years. I enjoyed this story due to how close it followed my journey.

Joloufa
Published 6 months ago by Joann L Faber
4.0 out of 5 stars YOYO NO MORE
If you’re looking for a brilliant Christmas gift for either yourself, a friend or a family member who has been yoyo dieting forever, look no further. Read more
Published 6 months ago by linda thorson
5.0 out of 5 stars Heart-breaking, hilarious, inspiring!
Monica Parker's true-life story is written in a voice that is so distinctive you feel she's your new best friend and she's talking directly to you. Read more
Published 7 months ago by jill a. finsten
Search Customer Reviews

More About the Author

Monica Parker was born and raised in Glasgow, Scotland until the age of thirteen when she immigrated with her parents to Toronto, Canada. Her television career began when she created, wrote and starred in an outrageous exercise show for an independent TV station. She went on to write for numerous television series and appear on stage and in film and television both in Canada and the United States, working with such notable talents as Anthony Hopkins, Michael Douglas and Kirstie Alley. As a producer, Monica has focused on socially relevant television movies such as Hunger Point about anorexia, starring Barbara Hershey and Mad Men's Christina Hendricks; and The Party Never Stops, a story about the deadly results of binge drinking which garnered a Prism award nomination for its star, Nancy Travis.

Monica is currently starring in her insightful and funny one-woman show; Sex, Pies & A Few White Lies which spawned her soon-to-be published funny but true non-fiction anti-diet book, Getting Waisted - A Survival Guide to Being Fat in a Society That Loves Thin. It's a book that speaks to everyone who can identify with having struggled over and over to lose weight only to gain it back time after time. Her story is funny and painful but it's also inspirational She believes that some people are just not meant to be sylph-like and she is only too happy to be their "Pie" Piper.

Amongst Monica's many accolades, she has recently been asked to serve as an Advisory Board Member at Humber College's prestigious Television Writing and Producing Program. She is a much in demand speaker and thought leader in a topic near and near to her heart; "Self-love instead of Self-loathe. Monica currently has a recurring role on SciFy's hit show; Defiance.

Monica has been married since dinosaurs roamed the earth to her wonderful, patient and sainted husband Gilles and is mother to their less patient but none-the-less wonderful 28-year-old son Remy. They currently split their time between Toronto and Los Angeles but are determined to find the perfect cottage on a magical Muskoka lake and spend as much time there, as possible.



What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?


Forums

There are no discussions about this product yet.
Be the first to discuss this product with the community.
Start a new discussion
Topic:
First post:
Prompts for sign-in
 


Look for Similar Items by Category