Customer Reviews

Getting out of Your Kids' Faces and into Their Hearts

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I loved how Valerie so clearly identified the common (and serious) mistakes that many parents make, and then wonder what went wrong in their relationship with their children. If the parent will take the responsibility of resolving their own behavior problems, then child-management often takes care of itself. I especially appreciated the chapter entitled "The Adult Parent" because so many parents are "big bad baby bosses"-- totally self-focused and dominance oriented. What a dangerous thing! I also loved Valerie's sprinkling of Christian values and scriptural references. As a MOPS coordinator, I look forward to using this information to help other moms.

This is a great book. Valerie Bell is right on target when she says that as a parent it is time for you to focus on your child and not your own childhood. So many thirty & forty year olds get caught up in their own issues that they do the same thing to their children, as they are complaining their parents did to them. Bell instructs the reader to move beyond themselves and focus on their children. AMEN! I got this book cause I have been fighting with my adolescent daughter and I realize some of that has been because of my life circumstances. I think that Bell gives practical, EASY tips for changing our parenting approach to build a healthy and loving relationship with our children. It gave me some new ideas for reconnecting with all my children.

I greatly appreciated Terry Bell's clear-cut, organized approach to offering common-sense guidelines for parents. Her practical advice to responsibly develop your own (the parent's) emotional and spiritual maturity as a means of providing what your child "needs" is sound, simple, and authoritative. I particularly enjoyed her honest examples of parental "short-comings" and her encouragement that it is never too late to pursue the kinds of changes that will improve your parent-child relationships. What a great resource for parents!

Ms. Bell's main thrust is that parents are the "need-meeters" of their children. As such, it is our responsibility as parents to make ourselves emotionally healthy so that we can provide a stable and nurturing environment for our kids. Great idea, but for me, the weakness of the book is a failure to provide practical ideas for how best to execute. I think this attachment-style of parenting too often results in selfish and self-centered children who have little respect for adults or others. On the other hand, Jim Fay's "Parenting With Love and Logic : Teaching Children Responsibility" is easy to read and provides instruction on meaningful ways to interact with children so that they grow up feeling loved and being responsible for their own behavior.