Customer Reviews

Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start: A Guide for Engaged and Newlywed Couples

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I read this book two months before I got married, and found it helpful for me. I prefer it over Tim LaHaye's book "The Act of Marriage" and Ed Wheat's "Intended For Pleasure". It was Biblical and covered the physical, psychological, and spiritual matters of sex. This book will help remove misconceptions about sex. My advice to any man getting married and purchasing this book is to make sure your future spouse reads it also, BEFORE you get married, regardless of her sexual past. The reason I say this is I could not get my wife to read this book, and she still holds on to her misconceptions.

I just bought this book recently, and I think it's just great. I'm engaged, and although I'm not completely inexperienced, I was wondering what to do on my wedding night. This book is the best that I've read so far. They lay it all out, as naked as you'll be on your honeymoon! The authors don't skirt around their complete discussion of different sexual topics.

Although this is definitely a Christian book, you never get the feeling that the authors are moralizing or condemning you for things you have done in your past, or choose to do in your marriage. The drawings are very dry and clinical, and the text needs some editing. However, this still doesn't detract from the overall quality of the book. Especially if you're a virgin and are a little apprehensive of the first time, I would highly recommend this book.

I liked this book a lot because it gives information
about sex from a Christian perspective. Unlike other
books on sex, it gives detailed information about
the first time, how to prepare for your honeymoon,
the first night together, etc. It even gives advice
about how to prepare physically for that night. Very
informative.

I am a young woman preparing for a Godly marriage. In my early teen years, I was rather promiscuous and engaged in activites that resulted in a 3-year long battle with masturbation and perverted thoughts and desires and the guilt and shame that came with it.
I bought this book hoping to move past all of that and into a holy marriage that continued to encourage purity of thought and action until the wedding night. I was greatly disappointed.
Although "Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start" has a lot of great material on love and commitment and some very practical advice on "the first time" and creating a romantic atmosphere and inviting God to share the experience, I disagree strongly with many of their suggestions. I am writing this review to warn those like me who are looking for a book that lines up with conservative Christian convictions.
The book not only condones but encourages masturbation "in preparation for" and in marriage. The authors encourage men the masturbate before the wedding night to reduce the risk of premature ejaculation. I found this very offensive as I love my fiance and am not going to be disappointed if he doesn't last very long. Please hear me when I say that as a sexually-experienced woman, the performance isn't what's important; it's trust and commitment and being in it together, and when he "pleasures" himself without my involvement, that is offensive to me. I don't care how inexperienced my sweet, loving, gorgeous man is, I want to teach him and I want to enjoy how he touches me, not how I touch myself.
Additionally, the Penners encourage engaged couples to participate in activites that "arouse" one another in order to "prepare" for the wedding behaviors. Additionally, they seem to ignore the Jesus' commandment that any man who looks at a woman who is not his wife lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. I am not married to my fiance yet. I am not his wife. By masturbation, self-stimulation, and engaging in "arousing" activites, I am encouraging him and myself to lust after each other, and this is adultery.
As a final note, I am incredibly attracted to my fiance and he to me, and I disagree with the authors and would like to say that by choosing to stay pure in mind and thought and deed, we will be enhancing our anxiety for our upcoming wedding night. It may not be the best time and I may not perform perfectly, but we are learning together. We are connecting. And I don't need to teach myself how to be stimulated. I am waiting for my husband.

We've been preparing for our wedding and marriage (well, mostly the marriage, but wedding prep has to happen some time) and we've read a few books on sex. This was the best book so far. It's very informative and frank without being offensive. Some readers may find the Penners a tad too liberal (if they can't find a Scriptural command for or against something, they generally leave it up to the reader), but I found them dead-on. The book starts with the necessary relational foundation for sex and leads into the technical how-tos.

The beginning of the book starts out like a pre-marital counseling session. My fiance and I have done our share, so we tried to do some of the exercises, but found them a bit repetitive (we did similar things in counseling) and fluffy (I wanted a book that just spelled everything out). Don't read through this book and put it down after the first few chapters, however. Especially if you don't like fluff. They are necessary building blocks to a fantastic sexual relationship and the Penners emphasize again and again that a good relationship that is open and honest and free is necessary for a healthy sex life. The rest of the book is pretty straight forward.

The next few chapters explain the body parts involved in sex, and then explains the technical how-tos. Their explanations were very good and the emphasis was continually on not just having good technique -- but having a good relationship.

Then they explain everything about the honeymoon -- how to plan a successful honeymoon and what [not] to expect on the first night. They really emphasize that couples should have few expectations so they won't be let down. They also explain how to maintain the sex life after the honeymoon.

This book mirrors The Gift of Sex - both are great resources.

I read this book in conjunction with Intended for Pleasure and I really enjoyed both books. I found this book was a little clearer and easier to understand, so if you have a choice of only one book to buy, I recommend this. However, if you can buy and read both, try to read Intended for Pleasure first (it's more technical and a bit drier) and then read this one. Or read them together. Both are great resources.

I'm stil waiting to put knowledge into practice, but until then...

I am the Executive Director of ParadiseWeddings.org a premiere destination wedding service located in Honolulu, Hawaii. I recently attended a conference with Dr. Cliff & Joyce Penner where I was introduced to this book for the first time.

After reading this book, I purchased 100 copies of it and have begun giving them out to all of our clients so they can read it before we perform their wedding ceremony. This is absolutely the best reference that I have found in my 15 years of performing marriages and conducting couples counseling to answer some hard to ask questions from Christians about sex.

I hope that Every new couple has a chance to read this book before they are married. It just may save many marriages.

Its refreshing to see a book based on scripture, which doesn't beat around the bush concerning this sensitive subject. Penner and Penner cover a variety of areas. This would make a great wedding gift for any couple.

The book does a great job of answering ALL questions new couples could have. When I picked it up I thought I already knew everything, but the book showed me I didn't. It's great to have Christian writers working on this topic!

Me and my boyfriend know we will get married and are doing some preparation by reading and studying about many things. We both have very different relationship backgrounds, and this book has been very helpful and effective at getting us both on the same page. We are growing closer to each other, and we are both getting alot of questions answered....questions we likely wouldn't have even known to ask.

I would highly recommend this book for every couple who knows they will marry or who is already married. The earlier in the process, the better.

I picked this book up on a whim several years ago when I was engaged. My husband and I were both virgins until our wedding night, and I credit having read this book for our fun, stress-free, pain-free wedding night. While I know some Christians disagree with the Penners' take on masturbation (the husband using self-stimulation before the wedding night to make the experience last longer), you can still glean much out of this book even leaving that small section out. I recommend this book to all of my engaged friends!