Customer Reviews

The Ghost Behind the Wheelchair

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

I have been a close friend of this Author for many years. I would like you to know that she has reared these two boys basically by herself and they have both turned out to be two of the finest young men I know. One of the reasons for their success in life is because Lila taught them to be independent young men who could make good decisions for themselves, but knowing she was there for them when they needed her guidance. I feel, in this difficult situation, she did what she needed to do for her son as well as herself. Some of your reviews seemed to portray her as a cold hearted mother who thinks only of herself. This is far from the truth! Sure, she could have quit her job and her life and moved to take care of her son. This is probably what most of us would have done. But, this probably would have made an invalid out of him. She knew, no matter how it hurt, that she had to help him recover by helping him to be independent and make his own decisions. This is how she participated in his rehab as I see it. I feel this book gives a mother the strength to help a child recover by helping them be independent and able to make their own decisions concerning their recovery. Knowing Lila and her sons, I know without a doubt that she made the right decision; and I feel that this might help other families to make independent decisions without feeling guilty or helpless. I would like to see this book available in every hospital and library.

This is an excellent book for those who are trying to cope with the sudden onset of new circumstances & feelings involved in, & or understand what a close friend/family member may be going through in dealing with this type of injury... And the title is very appropriate for a Mother writing about her son's accident --a Mother seeing the ghost of what was...her strong, healthy son. I applaud the Authors efforts in writing this in order to help others cope with such a tragedy...knowing what a painful experience it must have been to relive on paper.

I married a friend of the author's family. I saw life throw a lemon at her son when he dived into shallow water and broke his neck. He was paralyzed from the waist down. He has recovered enough to help others with their handicaps. He helped me face the challenges of life when my wife almost died. I watched his family pull together to help him become a winner. I enjoyed the report of his mother in helping him recover. It is a factual report and one worthy of telling the world that you do not have to be a Richard Gere to make the most of your handicaps. He made lemonade out of the lemon of his life. His mother did an accurate, straightforward report of his adjustment. I believe the book offers hope to those who need help to face life's challenges when a loved one needs help.

I have read the book and I have read the reviews posted here. Look, if you are looking to be entertained by reading about another family's tragedy, this is not the book for you. I took the book for what I believe the author intended it to be, a tool or a reference for others who might find themselves in a similar situation, and in that regard it is informative and raw and insightful. It leads you through both the "nuts and bolts" and the emotional aspects of dealing with this. I would suggest that if this book helps even one other family that finds itself engulfed in a paralysis rehabilitation, it certainly deserves a high rating. From what I have read in these reviews and in the authors blog, it certainly has already done that and will most likely do so again.

Anyone who understands what it means to be a mother, and who has an adult child who experiences a spinal injury, stands to gain something from this book, because there are no books written by parents of the spinal injured besides The Ghost Behind the Wheelchair. My mother spent 24 hours a day with my brother during the first week of his injury -- why is this ignored in three reviews? Further, who has ever chronicled such a difficult crisis for the benefit of others and then been held in such harsh judgement? No doubt, though, this is a realm where extreme feelings are a daily reality. However, if everyone who posted a review here had compassion and the ability to understand what a harrowing undertaking the writing of such a book would be for a parent in this situation (no doubt the reason no others have ever done so), perhaps they'd see how unfair, unqualified and cruel their negative comments and ratings appear. Based on the three reviews below, it's clear that this book is not for everyone... maybe it's not even for fathers of the spinal injured, nor for parents who face this situation with a school-age child. It is my mother's unique story detailing her means for coping with the predicament she and her adult son faced, and her telling of how reality REQUIRED her to be away to keep her job -- during which time she still made a caring difference for my brother (an undeniable reality) -- has so far proven to be as valuable to others in her situation as the details of the occurrences during the vast amount of time that she spent with my brother 24/7... providing a beginning-to-end net of support that saw my brother and herself through this crisis -- which is certainly among the most difficult any loving parent could ever face. Finally, Dave in SC, congrats on publishing your first review: you have now marked yourself as a person who can go to some length to tarnish anothers' most heartfelt and beneficent life's work. I look forward to reading your book on this subject....

Until suffering a spinal injury to a loved one, no one has any knowledge of how to deal with such a situation. This book presents the unique perspective of a mother through the early stages and the first year of her adult son's spinal injury and their paths to a new life -- a life that most experiencing such a trying situation will be surprised to know still holds much joy and happiness. It's meant as a guiding light for those who are facing such an ordeal and yearn to know what to expect.

Due to this book's unique insights into the emotions and thoughts of a mother dealing with her adult son's spinal cord injury, it has recently been added to the patient libraries at several major spinal cord injury rehabilitation centers across the United States. It is recommended for parents in similar situations and as a resource at domestic and international spinal rehabilitation centers.

and relates her perspective, having never personally dealt with paralysis in the past. This review is being posted in reply to the two posted by "reader from USA," which I feel incorrectly skew the rating for this important book. Not to dismiss 'reader's' input, I'd just like to address a couple of the questions the two reviews below raise. First, the author of the book was indeed extremely important in the rehabilitation of her son, despite having her home and her "life" 1,000 miles away. Admittedly, that requires a special person who is capable of impacting someone from afar when reality doesn't permit the fulltime dedication of one's life to being a coach throughout the process of rehab. So, perhaps this book IS more helpful for adult parents who love their adult kids but live some distance from them. This is not a day-by-day, blow-by-blow account nor pattern for dealing with every nuance of paralysis... other books along those lines do exist. This is a mother's account, more specific during the first week (when the [stuff] really hits the fan for her son) and more general over time. A question is raised as to the book's claim to being non-fiction -- which is poorly concocted, like several of the other points raised, leading me to wonder who posted those reviews and what their motives truly were. Regardless, the fact is that the book is indeed non-fiction, a point which can easily be corroborated through basic online research. 'Reader' also wants a book written by the injured subject of the book and by others who were closer during rehab -- but how fair is it to rate this book poorly for what it is not? Indeed, as 'Reader' finally points out, 'This book is about how the Mother felt mostly,' so -- at least in my opinion -- in that this special woman took the time to write from her heart on such a difficult subject and offered real insights -- the book deserves a much higher ranking.

My name is Roger Darnell, and in addition to being an amazingly talented, independent young man, my brother is a c-5/6 quadriplegic who suffered a spinal injury (diving) in 1991. With news of the accident, I and my immediate family all wound up at a hospital in St. Louis, and we began the process of dealing with my brother's new life. To say the least, that path is difficult... and my mother has been there, learning what she could to help my brother and herself through this ordeal. A very caring mother with a strong sense of survival, she not only learned to eventually transfer my 6'-4" brother herself (!), she has written a brief but passionately detailed book that covers the period from injury through my brother's independent life six years later. Part therapy, obviously, this book is also meant as a means of coping with spinal injury for parents and those whose loved-ones suffer such a life-altering tragedy, so they can begin to sort out the actual details of their new situation... and see some real light at the end of the tunnel. As far as the books themselves, we believe you'll find each paperback copy from 1stBooks Library to be truly splendid. My mother has worked to make this book available for those who need to gain as much control and optimism as is possible when facing this difficult fate... which despite its obvious challenges, still offers much joy, encouragement and hope -- believe it! -- for everyone. You and your family can get through this, and our family is very proud to think my mother's efforts and insights may help you. Here's hoping they do, and that somehow, someday, every spinal injured person regains full use of their completely mended bodies once again.

my best friend's daughter was in a car accident about a year ago and has not been able to walk ever since. i can say that my friends experience as a mother was not at all like the mother in this book. there are some good moments, but overall not very helpful to people actually going through this sort of thing. many of the "mothering" moments, that the mother seems to want patted on the back for, are so obvious and basic to mothers that her feelings and thoughts were just not useful.