Customer Reviews

Ghost in a Teeny Bikini

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

...but it was late at night and on HBO and no one saw me.

Actually, I've seen several of these movies on latenight HBO. Same cast, same cheap production values, same excuses for sex scenes. The release date for this one was last August so the movie's simulated sex scenes appear a bit more graphic than others (but these aren't the kind of movies you watch from beginning to end, normally, so I don't know if that's true).
But don't get excited: by "more graphic," I mean they're a little closer to a porn movie but still safe enough for HBO.

When I saw the title on my guide, I remembered the final 1960's Beach Party movie, THE GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI, an awesomely-horrible Sixties flick that starred Deborah Walley, Nancy Sinatra and Boris Karloff. Was GHOST IN A TEENY BIKINI a parody?

While TEENY BIKINI is a parody of INVISIBLE BIKINI (if you're wondering why characters sing those incredibly lame songs, that's why), this movie is still a lame latenight HBO skin flick. The acting is bad (these are real porn stars, aren't they?), the jokes are horrible, and the movie ends abruplty--like they just ran out of money. All two hundred dollars of it. Where's the heroine in peril scene? Where's the slapstick fights and chase for the finale? Where the heck is Tommy Kirk?

This is what happens when someone sets out to make a parody of an awful movie...and ends up making something worse. But with hot naked chicks in it.
What kind of scale could anyone possibly use for this?
It is what it is.

The picture looks good...other than that GIATB is just another standard softcore skin flick: low production values, horrible "script" filled with lame jokes, over the top acting, painful musical numbers and worst of all only one of the five females that get naked you would actually want to see naked.

For anybody who's keeping count there were five straight scenes and one lesbian scene. All snoozers and apparently directed by somebody with the sex drive of a wet carrot.

This whole series of films from Retromedia, of which "Ghost in a Teeny Bikini" is one, are actually great fun to watch and much better than I expected out of this type of movie. They are soft-core porn films, so there are all the expected nude scenes with beautiful women, love scenes, fake sex scenes, and so forth. Nothing new there. They are very much soft core, so they have none of the explicit hard core type shots, which makes them more viewable by a general audience (these are movies that my girlfriend would sit and watch with me and enjoy). But what makes them interesting is that they actually have a great tongue-in-cheek sense of humor about them.

The films don't take themselves too seriously or try to be something other than what they are; which is refreshing. In many of these types of movies, the "movie" is usually some really bad filler that tries to just fill in the gap between sex scenes. Not so in this series of movies from Retromedia. The "filler" in these movies is actually fun to watch just on it's own merit.

The cast in this series of films, which for the most part carries over from film to film, such as Nicole Sheridan and Evan Stone, are obviously having fun doing what they're doing. I was immensely surprised and impressed by Evan Stone, who is a hard core veteran, and the sense of humor and Jim Carrey-ish physical comedy that he brings to these films; who knew?. He's just great fun to watch. Nicole Sheridan, as well as being just beautiful to look at, also is clearly having fun playing some of the silly roles that she plays in the series, such as Jeannie, the ghost in the teeny bikini, and so on.

I would highly recommend this whole series of films. "The Erotic Dreams of Jeannie," The Bikini Chain Gang." "The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful," "Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet," "Ghost in a Teeny Bikini," are all part of this series with much of the same core cast (a few actors differ from film to film). When watched as a group of films together, with the core cast moving from one silly premise to another, you can see the great sense of humor of the cast that comes through time after time.

First off this is not a scary movie neither is it an Horror movie. Second I love this movie it is a Soft-Core Porn movie with Breasts, Buttocks and even a little where babies comes from is in this movie. I love Asian women and Ghost in a Teeny Bikini have a hot and sexy Asian female named: Christine Nguyen who played as Muffin Baker. The same way that I love the scene when those two Asian girls show their Breasts in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle is the same way I love Christine Nguyen. I give this movie five stars for the Naked/Nude women and no other reason.

Not rated, but definitely not meant for family viewing, this movie is basically college level Anatomy 101. Unless you're already Cinemax schooled. Then you realize easily that the sexual situations are not only ridiculous, they're also not even possible; like most softcore 1970's R rated skinfests. But you watch movies like this knowing going in (so to speak), exactly what to expect. The movie sort of kind of has a mediocre, albeit lame theme. A rich uncle dies and the reading of the will requires attendance in person. One catch, the one hoping to inherit everything will have to survive all others named in the will - who might meet their demise in any imaginable way. The acting quality is also exactly what you anticipate from this type of film. The mansion is haunted. Haunted by Nicole Sheridan in a bikini, hence the film's title "Ghost In A Teeny Bikini." The butler sings a country & western ditty, that is also just what you figured it would be. The French maid and the redheaded daughter are as vixen as Draculaen brides. Romps in the sack (more or less) aplenty, and even Elvis didn't do that much pelvis shaking. Now then, if you more than glance at the cover and see the predominance of actress names, you have a fair opportunity to guess this isn't your run-of-the-mill action, adventure, sci-fi, thriller, western, or any other genre that requires performances from thespians that actually have attended acting school. Right down to the séance medium who also sings a little ditty interspersed with clips from a 1922 film, "Nosferatu: A Symphony Of Horror" (Max Schrek as Dracula). That actually turns out to be really entertaining; from the perspective contrasted against the rest of what the movie has visually. One thing you can appreciate about this film though, has to do with its lack of misogyny. The movie tries to also be a lip-synch musical I'm guessing. The third ditty is attempted by the possible heiress. On the other hand, if you view this movie alone, time on your hands isn't going to be your only problem. The ghost says, "Enjoy your stay at Ravenswood Manor, I'll be lurking for you." A little further humor; Muffin's next picture "For Your Thighs Only" - the Colonel Sanders story. This movie gets 4 stars for being exactly what I expected it to be.

I actually liked this movie. My wife and I can watch it together and even she thinks it's pretty funny. Yeah, it's a soft core porn flick. But, it's something a couple can watch together and both can enjoy it. There's a whole series of these movies as one of the other reviewers wrote.

The acting is pretty over the top. Whether that is on purpose or by accident, I don't know. But, it does keep the whole experience pretty light hearted.

At this writing, this DVD is unavailable, and that's a good thing. This is a good example of why porn stars should not make softporn B movies. The acting is atrocious, the script is idiotic and even the sex is tedious. And the worst part is, there is nothing that is either fun or funny. I know, some flicks are so bad they are hilarious--but not this one. Meant to be a parody of "The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini" and a few other classic films, it only manages to amuse when it insults itself. There are basically two ways you can go with this material. Make it like an erotic thriller, which at least gives you sensuality in the sex scenes, or make it campy, which would at least inject some energy. "Ghost" lacks both.

It's stupid and corny and great all in one. It's a typical B rated soft porn movie but the best part is Beverly Lynne. Her acting is classic in this movie.

Hot ladies, plenty of them, some silly jokes, and some decent sexy scenes. What more could you ask for from a film like this?

Don't get me wrong, it is pretty good for a softcore film but when you know these are hardcore porn actors in this, you get let down by the absence of hardcore. Evan stone is just a gross beast. I don't even like him in hardcore stuff.