10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
B-movie fun, June 27, 2004
It's John Carpenter, so what does everyone expect? I know what I expected, and "Ghosts of Mars" pretty much delivered. Thudding sound track, B-movie dialogue, heads on stakes, "Road Warrior" like zanies with metal sticking out of their faces stalking the "good" guys. Bring on the popcorn. Then there's a humorous twist. The "guys" in this future world live in a Matriarchy. Guys make the coffee, defer to the women, but also are told to deal with mechanical problems when they arise. (Well, at least the "breeder" - Jason Statham as Jericho - does.) Carpenter works all kinds of little jokes into the script on this wrinkle alone. Natasha Henstridge as the tough cop hero, and Ice Cube, as the con hero, are serviceable - and they know when to shoot, kick, and punch. And that's all that's needed here. I don't know who the main Martian is (he looks like Marilyn Manson in Kabuki), but he's perfect! Four stars for operating well within genre.
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15 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
WHY?, July 26, 2002
Just because a movie stinks, is no reason not to watch it. Some movies you watch BECAUSE they stink. This is one of them.
Nothing in this movie makes sense.
No, no - NOTHING!
Mars is ruled by a matriarchy. WHY?
A man cuts off his own thumb. WHY?
The entire movie is told in multiple flashbacks. WHY?
There are flashbacks within flashbacks...WITHIN FLASHBACKS! WHY?
Natasha Henstridge stars - and DOESN'T STRIP! WHY?
Henstridge is a lawman - er, "person" - who allies herself with a notorious criminal...even AFTER the mutual threat they're fighting is over! WHY?
ICE CUBE! ON MARS!! WHY?
Jailbreakers get themselves locked in the same cell as the guy they're trying to bust out! WHY??
Joanna Cassidy in a hot-air balloon - ON MARS!! WHY???
Aeons-old Martian gas makes men into ooga-chaka zombies, who grunt to "I Can't Stop This Feeling, Deep Inside of Me"!! WHY?!?
The Martian zombies dress for a Kiss video - ON MARS!! WHY!?!
The good guys escape, only to rush back into the jaws of certain doom - FOR NO GOOD REASON!!! WHY!!!
You might get the impression I hate this movie. I don't. I actually love it. It's one of my personal favorites. I honestly couldn't stop cat-calling it out loud at the theater - and I NEVER cat-call movies (at least, in public).
But that's exactly why you have to see this movie. It's just UNGODLY fun. This is THE perfect movie, for your own Friday night Mystery Science Theater party. It's as bad as Battlefield Earth, but much more gorgeously produced, and much, MUCH funnier.
Don't sit there, wondering WHY? Buy it, and find out. You'll watch it over and over again, marveling with each new viewing at the unbelievable WHYS??? you missed on your previous viewings.
Hey, if nothing else, Clea Duvall gets her head cut off. If that ain't worth the price of admission, I don't know what is.
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10 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
It's not their planet anymore, March 18, 2003
John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars has pretty much everything I'm looking for in a Horror film. A barely plausible storyline, Wisconsin-French dialogue (Cheez-ay!), non-stop action, gore, eye candy (Natasha "Shoulda Got Naked Like She Did in Species" Henstridge), and a killer soundtrack.
"Whatever used to live here we woke it up."
The cast is great, Ice Cube as Desolation Williams and Mrs. Henstridge as Melanie Ballard are awesome in their roles. Pam Grier has a head supporting role, and her best line is "Who goes there?" which is a sly nod from Carpenter to his insane masterpiece The Thing (based on the story Who Goes There?).
Decapitations, body mutilations, an angry army of Martian Ghost Zombies and plenty of jolts make this a worthy 98 minute diversion. Watching this you can just tell that everyone was enjoying the hell out of making the film. Which is the best part about seeing a Carpenter movie, you know that big studio tampering was either kept to a minimum or eliminated altogether. A masterful mix of sci-fi and horror that seems destined to become a cult favorite, just like John Carpenter.
Any fan of no brainer popcorn flicks should check this movie out.
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