Customer Reviews

The Gift of ADHD: How to Transform Your Child's Problems Into Strengths

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1 star:		(8)

 

 

If you have already tried many of the conventional approaches for "managing" ADHD or if you are simply tired of the way professionals speak of you or your loved one as needing treatment to remedy some "deficit" in character then read this book. Unlike many popular theories that view ADHD as a difficult-to-treat brain condition that adversely affects school performance, social relations, and self-esteem, Dr. Honos-Webb reframes ADHD as an opportunity for growth and exploration. At its heart, this book challenges the reader to view a child diagnosed with ADHD as possessing such "gifts" as creativity, interpersonal intuition, and keen emotional sensitivity. I found myself easily pulled in to the deft way that she weaves existing psychological research with her own personal and professional experience to argue for a more progressive approach to working with those diagnosed with ADHD.

As a psychologist who works with children and adolescents diagnosed with ADHD, I find that there exist two diametrically opposed camps with respect to how best approach diagnosing and treating this condition. The first camp argues that ADHD is all about brain chemistry and requires medication. The second camp argues that ADHD is a wildly overdiagnosed condition and may be nothing more than society's discomfort or dislike of certain behaviors or individuals. The middle ground between these two positions is the territory covered in this book. Advice for working with mental health professionals (who tend to populate the first camp) while maintaining an advocacy role for your child is a particularly strong emphasis. After reading the chapter entitled, "How to Become Your Child's Advocate, Not Apologist" I felt compelled to photocopy it and send it to everyone I've known who has felt a sense of powerlessness in dealing with insensitive school personnel, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc.

It is evident that Dr. Honos-Webb honors those diagnosed with ADHD. This book is definitely for those who want to get active in their child's care. I particularly enjoyed the number of exercises designed to increase self-esteem, parental involvement, and the parent-child bond. With titles such as "Force-Field Control," "What Went Right?," and "Gamma Ray Bursts" you are sure to find something that works for you and your child. I suspect some exercises will feel too hokey to some but there probably is something for everyone.

All things considered, I found this book to be a persuasive argument for approaching ADHD as a gift rather than a nuisance. The writing is generally crisp with tons of examples; as such, it flows nicely and makes for an "easy read." If you are committed to transforming your relationship with your child and those responsible for his or her care then this book will move you in that direction with confidence and a new sense of compassion. A standout addition to the ever-expanding collection of ADHD books!

While I appreciate the attempt to shift my paradigm, as an adult with ADHD I see much of this book as rubbish. The author makes unsubstantiated statements such as "drugs work not by fixing brain pathology but by making children high so they are more motivated and feel better about themselves and their behavior improves." The implication and much of the message of the book is that if we feel better about ourselves, we will be better students. She clearly has not been in the thoughts of an ADHD person on stimulants. We're not more motivated because we feel high; we notice the mess, we think about organization, we filter out inappropriate remarks, we worry about deadlines and we ignore distractions. Much like those nongifted, unexuberant, normal folks do. I felt great about myself just before I made a silly remark that cost me my job. Perhaps my boss and the people I offended simply needed to change paradigms and be more accepting of inappropriate behavior...Lara, if you read this, please rethink the messages you are sending people. They are dangerous and unethical.

I'm an adult with ADHD but still remember being a kid and living every day with it. This book talks about how ADHD kids are "special" and "gifted" and really trashes medication. Well a lot of kids, including me, would have given all the "gifts' and "specialness" and creativity back in a cold second if we could have had a decent night's sleep. Or made friends with other kids. Or could have just lived a regular day like normal people. IT IS NOT A GIFT, AND QUIT MAKING YOUR KIDS MISERABLE BY TELLING THEM HOW GREAT IS IS!! Please get your kids to a doctor and put them on some meds. They will feel better. They'll sleep better. They'll make friends easier. I say this again, they will feel better!! Please listen to me. I and many others say this from personal experience. Tney will not become zombies, or loose their creativity if they're put on medication. It will allow them to blossom all the more. It makes me furious to hear these parents go on and on about how they'd never medicate their kids when they have no idea the ABSOLUTE HELL their kids live through every day. I had the best night's sleep in my entire life the first day I started my stimulant meds. Your kids will thank you for it.

As a parent of 2 kids with ADD and having ADD myself, this is one of several newer books that are both different and more helpful than most. Almost all other books I have read thus far about ADD/ADDH have been somewhat discouraging, and many so-called ADD experts paint kids with ADD as having broken brains. This book presents a much more upbeat but still practical view. This approach made me believe that me and my two sons with ADD/ADDH could do great things despite ADD, that ADHD needn't always be such a bad thing, and that it might even have some good parts about it. Highly recommended.

3 other books I'd recommend
- Making the System Work for your Child with ADHD by Jensen
- Delivered from Distraction by Hallowell
- the Edison Gene by Hartmann

ScottT, an ADDDAD

If your child truly deals with ADHD in combination with any other conditions (RAD, OCD, etc), this is NOT the book for you. The author clearly deals with children with a singular diagnosis.

Page 29: "The bias of this book is that ADHD is a gift that is misunderstood in this culture, and that eliminating this gift by medication does not make sense."

So if you have had success with Ritalin or any other medication, you are doomed to be the "bad" parent, presumably not recognizing the beauty in your child.

My son began taking Ritalin after 2 years of play therapy, modification of food intakes, counseling, etc. At the time, he was receiving speech services for a language processing deficit. The first day he took Ritalin, he walked into my room and held a conversation with me, with 5 changes of turn. He stayed on topic, and his sentences were clear. It wasn't a language processing issue. It was that his brain could not filter the simultaneous 5 + thoughts to come out with a cogent sentence. Ritalin slows his brain enough so that he can communicate.

This is the difference between a PhD and an MD dealing with the diagnosis. One is subjective, based on client base, the other is medical and more trustworthy.

If your child has multiple diagnosis, stay away from this book.

I, too, applaud this book for the way it reframes difficulties that kids, adults, and families with ADHD experience. But it takes a lot of energy to keep that perspective all the time. My concern about this book is that it perpetuates the view that there are just two possible (and seemingly conflicting) answers: medication or coping skills. Besides a mention of neurofeedback, it doesn't fully describe the benefits of this well-researched and very effective therapy.

My daughter had such severe ADHD that she finally had to drop out of high school and take a GED degree. After several years she very much wanted to go on for higher education but felt afraid when she thought of the attentional demands it would make on her. She did about three months of neurofeedback and entered acupuncture school. Now she calls me and says that she is learning, remembering very complicated details, more organized, completing assignments on time, and extremely happy. The most important thing she said was that the neurofeedback "didn't change her personality and abilities but it took away the behaviors that kept her from being who she was."

Instead of seeing ADHD as a chemical imbalance or a gift, another perspective is that the behaviors are produced by a brain that is under or over activated. Neurofeedback is totally non-invasive and consists of a person playing a computer game with their brain. It is accomplished by the use of several electrodes placed on the head that measure frequency and amplitude of the brain waves at the site of the electrode(s). Nothing is done to the brain. The game simply makes suggestions as to how to shift the balance of brain arousal and gives feedback (rewards) to the brain. As it learns, the result is modification of the person's behavior. After a number of sessions, the behavior usually becomes permanent. And the person gets to keep her or his abilities and uniqueness. Now, that's a GIFT.

As the director of a clinic specializing in treating children and adolescents with ADD/ADHD, I would say most kids view their ADHD more like a curse. It is a condition which must be addressed aggressively and effectively. By dressing it up as a gift rather than a significant impairment of attention and cognitive function, it will cause some parents to delay seeking remedy until it is too late.

We have never assumed that ADD/ADHD suffers are without intelligent, talent or attention for that matter. The lack of ability to focus attention when and where required, rather than what the person finds interesting and stimulation, will cause significant problems for the sufferers. It is precisely for this reason that ADD/ADHD symptoms must be attended to. Doing so will not take away existing intelligent, gifts, talents or abilities, rather it will cause more productive attention to these gifts. By treating the ADD/ADHD, you pave the way for the talents and gifts to shine.

The Gift of ADHD by Dr. Honos-Webb (not to be confused with The Gift of A.D.D.: Shattering Labels and Changing Expectations for Parents and Teachers by Amry Ellen Jirak) reminds us to not be become so focused in addressing the problems, that we fail to see the positive qualities that exist in the child too. It offers tools and techniques that parents can use to address their child's learning and personality style and differences. It is a light, simple and easy to read book. I wish Dr. Honos-Webb had devoted more than 3 or 4 pages total to the alternative treatments such as EEG Neurofeedback, Sensory Integration Training, Auditory Integration Training and Cognitive Skills Training which are now becoming more widely available and have been shown excellent clinical outcome with long term sustained results.

The danger here is that many parents wishing to avoid medications ( which clearly are not the only choice of treatment as has been demonstrated in several published studies ) will all together forgo any form of treatment, figuring why take my child's gift away. Would you consider the broken leg of a professional dancer his or her gift?

Contrary to popular opinion, there ARE advantages to ADHD, including creativity, originality and the ability to look outside the box (in fact, it can be nearly impossible for most with ADHD to think WITHIN the box). Although it isn't easy for those with ADHD to function in structured environments, they can excel in the right ones.
And that is the main strength of this book - showing how nonlinear, innovative minds can be an asset rather than a detriment. Along the way, the author helps people focus on their strengths and get around their weaknesses.

As a 30-something with lifelong ADHD Inattentive and mother to two ADHD Inattentive boys, this book made me furious. Stimulant medications do NOT make me "high" or feel better about myself. The most common scenario for me is, 3 hours after I take (maximum allowed dosage) morning meds I fall asleep, and get the most restful sleep of the day/night. Meds slow my brain down enough to be able to deal with fewer things at a time. Meds are not administered in my household to "placate adults and teachers and force exuberant children to conform to an intolerant society," as this book says almost to the word. Meds are to help us function at the best of our abilities along with therapy and counseling. I made the decision to try meds for my older son after six months of denial, anger, and hundreds of hours of research. After all that research I realized I had the same issues. I have years of CBT therapy as well as meds, and strongly believe both should be considered important.

Please do lots of research if you have, or have a child with, ADHD/ADD. Any ONE source is not enough, utilize as many as you have access to.

The danger of this book is that it seems to almost "spiritualize" this diagnosis with terms like "gift," and plays up the creativity and "enlightenment" of kids with this condition (notice, I did not say DISORDER). The truth is, kids with ADHD are OFTEN no more gifted or talented than their peers, nor do the view the world in any special, unique and wonderful way. If we romanticize the condition, we quickly tumble down the path of inadequate treatment - which is a total injustice to the child. You would not deprive a diabetic child of insulin. You would not deprive a child with an infection of antibiotics. Don't deprive those kids who need ADHD medications the treatments they need to function. Our family is proof that they HELP.