Customer Reviews

Gift Children

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I first read this in 1994 and was very pleased to stumble upon it again as I am now in the process of adopting an older child. The Bates family adopts two black girls in the 70's, after having two sons biologically. This book is a chronicle of their journey as a family and the issues that crop up along the way.

They deal with their families' reactions, racism in almost all-white Eugene, Oregon, and the ever-present doubts of their daughters. Do the Bates REALLY love them? Why did they adopt them and not some white kids?

For white people considering adopting non-white children and raising them in all-white towns, I really recommend you read this. The Bates come to the conclusion that placing non-white children with whites is probably not the best choice, but it sure can be made easier by living in a community with non-whites for classmates, teachers, etc. But they do advocate for all children having forever homes. If the state cannot find parents of the same race, then by all means, finding a home with parents of any color is the main priority.

This book also does a great job of showing how children adopted after infancy will have issues surrounding loss, trauma and abandonment. The author admits that post-adoption counseling would most likely have benefitted their family.

The tone of the book is overall upbeat. The family weathers issues that famlies of all colors tackle, but they come out with a positive attitude and no regrets on their decision to adopt trans-racially.