Things go terribly awry as Ellie’s graduate-student therapist, Ann, inadvertently triggers memories of abuse and loss from Ellie’s past. As she begins regurgitating her repulsive childhood memories, she cautiously reaches out to Ann and surprisingly revels in what she believes is a special bond between them. She is certain that with Ann’s help the demons that have been locked up in her subconscious, for almost four decades, can finally be reckoned with and discarded. Vulnerable, open and fragile, like a fresh bloody wound, Ellie is devastated when Ann terminates therapy to do an out of state internship. Ellie struggles to stop the termination process and to see Ann just one more time. Within that deadly struggle is a journey of self-exploration that slowly turns into an uncontrollable ride into madness.
Along that treacherous roller coaster ride, you will meet Ellie’s new therapist, Dr. Smith. You will witness Dr. Smith’s efforts to save Ellie from her mode of crash and burn. In her attempts to counsel Ellie and help her deal with Ann’s rejection, Dr. Smith frequently skirts the code of professional ethics and in doing so inadvertently distresses Ellie further.
Close to the book’s conclusion you will see the madness escalate. With all hope for any sort of quality life or happiness waning, Ellie, while innocently brushing her teeth, looks hard and deep in the mirror. She stops. She looks at herself again, more closely this time. She begins to cry at what she has become and the hurt she has caused everyone. She prays. Something she hasn’t done for years. She vows to take control of her illness and no longer allows it to control her. At its conclusion you will understand that without experiencing the gift of hurt, Ellie would never have realized her potential and reached heights she never thought possible. You will understand too, that without the gift of hurt, Ellie would never have experienced the joy of loving, connecting, and developing emotional intimacy with people.
