Customer Reviews

The Gift of Our Compulsions: A Revolutionary Approach to Self-Acceptance and Healing

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This is the best book on the topic of compulsions that I have ever seen. What impressed me the most were some simple and quick to do exercises that, simply put, have worked every time I've taken the 30 seconds or so to do them. Frankly I'm amazed at the power of this book.
I met the author briefly after a lecture she gave, and I give her an even higher recommendation than the book. She's one of the real ones.

We all engage in compulsive behaviors and have compulsive tendencies, whether we are aware of them or not. This amazing book teaches us that compulsions are not simply negative impulses to be controlled. In fact, they are our allies and protectors, helping us cope with life. Mary O'Malley helps us to acknowledge these allies, and to meet them with awareness, love, and acceptance. The concept that we treat ourselves unkindly by trying to control compulsions, and that the act of controlling actually hides the wisdom that compulsions impart, was striking to me. It is in meeting compulsions with awareness, curiosity and acceptance that we open up to what they have to teach us; and in this opening, they reveal to us our deepest needs. With down-to-earth examples, Mary shows us how to recognize and learn from our compulsions, and how to begin meeting our needs at the soul-level. As important as this book is for the individual, its message also applies to society as a whole. What would the world be like if we were able to recognize and learn from our common compulsions, and were able, at last to begin meeting our deepest needs as families, as neighborhoods, as cultures, as countries, as earth-partners? I am thankful for Mary's wisdom, and I hope to see more books from her in the future

If you want to find a compassionate and insightful way of reconnecting and trusting yourself, read this book and take it to heart! Mary O'Malley's invites us to recognize compulsions for what they are: a survival system asking us to pay attention to the here and now.

I invite you to read it, so you too can begin to cultivate the healing power of attentive curiosity!

"I trust myself" are the first words in Chapter one of this book. I deeply wanted to be able to say the same for myself, but couldn't. This book is an ongoing journey, and it continues to help me look within and ask myself questions that lead me toward self-trust and self-compassion. The author's approach to healing compulsions, even the core compulsion of struggling, does not involve guilt or shame. Rather, it involves curiosity and self-acceptance. The author's personal story of dealing with compulsive behavior is compelling and a testament to the power of her teaching. The fact that Eckhart Tolle has endorsed this work is a definite "plus" for me.

This book was recommended to me by a therapist who deals specifically with eating disorders. I started reading the book and immediately became engrossed. O'Malley really does take a revolutionary approach to compulsive behavior by asking us to see our compulsions as friends rather than enemies. After a lifetime of battling my compulsions and hating their control over my life, I am slowly learning to listen to what they are trying to say. Like young children, our compulsions are desperate for our attention.

While I don't really relate to O'Malley's humanistic perspective, I was still able to apply her ideas within the framework of my own spiritual beliefs. No matter what your "world view", I think this book has a great deal to offer those of us who are tired of fighting and losing the battle of our compulsions.

Mary O'Malley shares her transformation with us and the structures she created to be present in her life. The presence to her feelings about herself, her choices and her needs made a difference for her and it made a difference for me too. Mary is dedicated to people's transformation, is a generous and loving person and I'm grateful for her commitment. This book, when empowered, is fantastic. Do the practices, experiment and discover.

I weighed 189 pounds when I read the book. From reading the book, I was able to generate awareness around my choices, my needs and most importantly the space to create an ideal relationship to food and to my body.

The weight just fell off. My relationship to my body was that it was an extraordinary gift and food was the fuel and the way to honor this machine.

Changing how I fed myself or kept myself fit never felt like work or willpower, thanks to Mary. Granting myself and others forgiveness was a product of this work that went well beyond losing weight. It affects every part of my life.

This book truly finds the words for inner turmoil that addictions compulsions create in our lives. The word that comes to my mind is "committment" and the ways we truly avoid engaging in life out of fear of being consumed ourselves. It's a paradigm shift that is meaningful for those that use the mind way too much and escalating self made prisons. If you want or need to understand on a deeper level the spiritual ramifications of self destructive behavior and how to heal them, please go here.

For almost 30 years I've been stuck in my old approaches to compulsions. Although I wish I'd had the understanding contained in this book many years ago it came to me at a time and place where I was finally ready for it. The simple relevancy and depth in the first few pages gave me a sense that I was being led in the right direction. I began to understand that much of my ignorance was due to lies and misleading religious teachings. I knew I was on to something and my next wave of compulsion was finally met with courage and compassion for myself. Instead of rushing to "fix" the problem I stopped and faced it. What followed was totally unexpected: I saw for the first time one of the root causes for my hangups and negative thought-patterns but it was beyond mere introspection. I saw the mechanics of the thing that was driving me to drink vividly as it was happening. No amount of substance-abuse information, self-control or self-analysis could be worth that one moment. I had one of the greatest and most unusual weeks of my life to say the least. I'd never claim to be out of the woods yet but more than just this one-time experience I now have an approach to myself, or should I say, a lifestyle that's really who I am and really works.

This book offers a new perspective to the food addiction that is a national epidemic! The book teaches compassion and a loving kindness attitude to our overeating. Self-condemnation can be relieved. Success can happen through learning the principles oulined in this book

This book has given me a treasury of simple and profound concepts and tools for working through all of the challenges of my life. I read it cover to cover and refer to it often.