Gigantic Death Worm [Paperback]

Vince Kramer (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 22, 2011

HOLY SHIT! THIS IS THE BEST BOOK EVER!!!

It's kind of like that awesome movie, Frozen, you know where there's those people stuck on a ski-lift while surrounded by wolves. But imagine if instead of wolves they were bears. And the bears spit wolves! Like they're fucking grenade launchers or something! It's awesome!!!

And then there's these gigantic death worms that come out of the ground and kill and eat everyone. And they're HUGE. Big enough to eat breweries and shit. And it's all because of 2012! I KNOW! But, don't worry, there's a bunch of Mexican Ninjas with invisibility ponchos and throwing-sombreros that are going to save the day. They are so badass. And the main character Dave does some stuff, too. He can pull things out of the air, like burgers and Armani suits. (If I could do that I'd be eating McDouble cheeseburgers constantly!) He and his friend Worm-Head Girl, along with the Mexican Ninjas, and a veterinarian named LeAnn must try to save Phoenix from total annihilation. But they better hurry up because these gigantic death worms are going to utterly fucking destroy everything in like two seconds!!

CHECK OUT THE MOST AWESOME BOOK YOU COULD EVER POSSIBLY IMAGINE!! IT'S THE BEST BOOK EVER!!!

Product Details

• Paperback: 88 pages
• Publisher: Eraserhead Press (October 22, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1621050041
• ISBN-13: 978-1621050049
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.2 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (38 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #918,381 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Vince Kramer is a crazy person who won't hesitate to attack the X-Men in the morning, the Justice League in the afternoon, and have the entire cast of Friends raped and murdered by midnight. He also isn't real and a figment of your imagination. Actually, all of his works were really done by the Mothman. Having two head surgeries by the age of 18, he had one million lite-brite bulbs inserted into his brain. This makes him immortal. He lives in Happy Valley, Oregon, alone with his pet iguana, Desmond Harrington. He loves Desmond Harrington, cult horror films, G.I. Joe, death metal, the '80s, Star Wars, and Devo. He hates animal hair, the sun, midgets, politics and transvestites. His greatest fear is being outside having an allergy attack while he's being raped by transvestites as midgets stab him and talk his ear off about politics. He's also afraid of air. He thinks being a Conservative Republican is funny, even though he has no idea what it means. Sometimes, if you're lucky, you can see him power-walking through the Hollywood District in a full-on Star Trek: The Next Generation Captain's uniform, attacking homeless people with silly string. He loves you and wants your smell all over him.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Debut November 13, 2011

By Sugar Ray Dodge

Format:Paperback

I have become something of a book snob in the last two years, and by that I mean I refuse to read anything I have no interest in. There are too many books that just flat out suck but are loved by the literary elite who sit around in Starbucks and try to look like they are much smarter or more cultured than they really are. Damn yuppies. I hate those guys. But this is also true in the world of independent publishing. There's A LOT of crap out there (Amanda Hocking comes immediately to mind) that has risen to fame in the so-called "literary underground," but its mostly poorly executed knock-offs of Twilight or the Da Vinci Code (neither of which were any good to begin with.) Hell, even the Bizarro Genre, a genre that defines itself by creating unique content, is a hit-and-miss affair once you are about three or four stories deep, so I'm pretty choosy about which Bizarro stories I pick up and which ones I pass on. I read this one because I happen to know that the author has a very dry sense of humor that I dig, but I still had reservations. (I'm a jerk. Sue me. I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you people. I don't even know you! Why should I care if you hate me?!) But I do gotta say that Gigantic Death Worm managed to side-step those reservations for two reasons.

Reason the First: The action carries the story. By the end of the first chapter I was like "oh dang, how are they gonna get out of this." It moves very fast (and in a good way) and I was anxious to see how everything was going to resolve itself. It is far and away the best action-themed Bizarro story to come out in at least two years.

Reason the second: It has some REALLY good jokes in it. I don't want to spoil them, because context and timing is everything. But it was a damn funny story.

All in all, it was a really fun experience. Vince Kramer has managed to create a solid foundation with which to further his creative ambitions from here on out. Excellent debut novella. I'm interested in seeing what's next.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars FIESTA OR DEATH!!! November 24, 2011

By R. Roeske

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This is not only the BEST BOOK EVER!!!, but also one of the (non-pejoratively) gayest ones. It's in a hilarious, frat boy way. It never occurred to me that Arizona has so much gay sex going on.

Can we take up a fund and build a time machine? This book totally needs to be an 80s movie. I'm sure we can find a coked out, whacked out director to make it so.

Ever seen those sexy, ridiculous schlocky 80s movies like "Surf Nazis Must Die!" or "Voyage of the Rock N Roll Aliens"? "Gigantic Death Worm" is like that, only more AWESOME!

You can't beat a story that explains the 2012 myth, contains bears mouth birthing angry wolves, men with weird magickal powers, Ponce De Leon II: The Revenge, Mexican Ninjas, worms galore (gigantic death worms, a Worm-Head Girl & brain worms, beer and chainsaw wielding mothers!

After reading this, you'll totally be yelling "FIESTA OR DEATH!" at everyone you see.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars If the Aristocrats joke involved giant monsters, it would be Gigantic Death Worm November 13, 2011

By D. Schwent

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

When Dave, his friend Mike, and Mike's girlfriend Suzanne get stranded on a ski lift, that's just the beginning of their problems. Soon, they're being attacked by bears that shoot wolves out of their mouths. Before they know it, gigantic death worms are attacking all the major cities in Arizona. From there, things get a little weird...

Here we are again. An entire new New Bizarro Author Series. Will it match up to the class of 2010-2011? If Gigantic Death Worm is any indication, then yes.

Ever hear of The Aristocrats joke? You know, the one about the guy who walks into a talent agent's office and describes a family doing some of the filthiest things you can imagine on stage? If the Aristocrats joke involved giant monsters, it would be Gigantic Death Worm.

The characters in Gigantic Death Worm are an interesting bunch, to say the least. Dave, the protagonist, has a fairly interesting power caused by brain parasites. He can make things appear out of thin air. I won't reveal the source of his power but it's a doozy. Ponce DeLeon II: The Revenge, was the lynchpin that stopped the plot from being a bunch of gay jokes. Too bad he went out like he did. Worm-Head Girl didn't do anything for me at first but she rose to the occasion. All that aside, I'd say the Mexican ninjas were my favorite part of the tale. "That Ramon!"

Gigantic Death Worm is hilarious. That's about all I have to say.