Customer Reviews

The Girlfriend Test: A Quiz for Women Who Want to Be a Better Date and a Better Mate

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4 star:		(1)
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1 star:		(1)

 

 

Heres a book that most men will be happy about. Instead of The Boyfriend Test (how men measure up) author Wendy Walsh takes a serious look at what it is the women have to do in order to become a better girlfriend and thereby get the love of her dreams.

As a fellow relationship author Im always interested in what others in my field have to say about dating, romance, and love. And while I liked Wendy Walshs previous book, I appreciate this one even more.

My favorite part of The Girlfriend Test is when she writes about the 9 types of girls/women. Im sure we can all think of a person that we know who fits one of these bills:

1) Daddys Girl: no ones can live up to Daddy
2) The Barbie Doll: the perfect girl as long as youth & beauty last
3) The Girls Girl: the perfect friend to every woman at the expense of her own love life
4) The Material Girl: the one who appears to want money more than love
5) The Miss Priss: the one who lives by family standards primarily
6) The Corporate Cat: the female executive with all the perks except a man
7) The Chatty Cathy: talks too much, too many stories
8) The Jockette: one of the boys in her recreational activities
9) The Mirror: the one who surrenders to men at her own expense

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My only beef appears on page 22 where she writes, Hes the Hook, But Youre the Fish. And on a philosophical level I have to let her know that an old American proverb states, a man chases a woman until she catches him. What that means is the woman is the angler and the man is the fish. (The Power of An Enlightened Metaphor For Love)

Back to her book.

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As far as Walshs tests, there are actually 5 of them, all of which are very practical and insightful. Here they are with my favorite question from each test:

The Hook-Up Test (sounds fishy doesnt it?): Question #2 Are you more worried about your appearance than your disposition?

The First Date Test: Question #7 Do you talk too much about past relationships?

The Five Date Test: Question #5 Are you rewarding bad-boy behavior?

The Girlfriend Sex Test: Question #9 Do you know how to say no to sex?

The Ninety-Day Test: Question #3 Do you know how to deal with the boys club?

Along the way the author also has important side-bars like tips on going out alone (valet park for safety, meet the business happy hour people instead of the late-night crowd & leave by 11:30 PM because nothing good ever happens after that).

I hope this book gets in the hands of a lot of women. I said much of the exact same things in my second edition of Men Are Like Fish, but the difference here is that it comes from the more trusted voice of another woman instead of from a guy (the nerve of a man talking about love....what do they know, right?)

Anyway, dont be fooled by the whole test idea. While it is more on the tactical side than the spiritual side, it does a darn good job of making refined distinctions in the area of hooking (creating secure attachments wisely).

This is one of my favorite new books because it is so focused on this one area of dating which is a key element in the big picture of fishing for love.

It's strange how sometimes a sequel can be better than the original. I had good things to say about Wendy's first book, The Boyfriend Test -- but I have to say that this one is MUCH more consistently excellent and light years kinder to both men and women, a must-read if you were a fan of TBFT.

Once again, Walsh affects the informal, chatty "girlfriend" style readers of TBFT will remember. But this time the emphasis is on equiping women with the tools to take an inner journey of discovery crafted so as to make them "a better date, and a better mate" on the other end. Once again, there are scored tests and detailed elucidations for each item.

But the real heart of this book is at the beginning, and even more so at the end -- when Walsh lays out her personal wisdom about the work needed to build life's most important adult relationship, as well as the rewards of doing that at-times painful, always revelatory work on yourself BEFORE you hit the trenches looking for a man to share your life with. Drawing on her MA in psychology (and especially something called "Attachment Theory"), Wendy gently, frankly and patiently guides her reader to a place of such inner strength that any guy worth his salt would be crazy not to fall head-over-heels for her. Once again, she shares personal anecdotes so you know it's real. And unlike in her other book, you finish this one with a satisfied sense that all loose ends have been tied up perfectly -- like the pleasantly full feeling you get at the end of a perfect meal among close friends.

So once again, I find my single, male self endorsing a book by and for women on the subject of dating and relationships. And this time, guys, I can wholeheartedly assure you: Wendy Walsh really DOES feel warm things toward us! In fact, the astute reader of both books will note that Wendy puts women through one more test than she subjects us to. But perhaps the very best thing here is the sense you'll come away with that the word "test" has a whole different meaning than it did in school -- being less about scoring points, and more about self-realization and keeping your eyes open, keeping your heart and soul's radar on so as to sidestep life's landmines and go straight for the gold. If you're a man, this may be interesting. If you're a woman looking to develop a higher relationship IQ, "The Girlfriend Test" is pure gold. Good for you, Wendy!!

I loved this book. My girlfriends loved this book. It is a must for anyone in a relationship. It doesn't repeat things you already know. It opens your eyes up to things that you should see but don't.

The author comes across as apparently innocent of any research on human behavior.

Her points are full of contradictions and her statements betray her ignorance of the DSM.

The things she says are not controversial... they simply are false, by definition (e.g. she claimed that Multiple Personality Disorder was a "type of Schizophrenia."). I'm not sure how she can just pull stuff like that from who knows where and end up on CNN as an "expert."

I've read both the boyfriend test and girlfriend test. Finally someone broke the dating game down so that the novice dater who is looking to become a girlfriend knows what men are looking for in a potential gf. Wendy illustrated the steps that we need to get through in a clear, light, and humorous way....Before reading the girlfriend book, I had great difficulty understanding my role as a woman throughout the different stages of dating...I'm a more confident dater now...by doing the tests, I can gauge where I am in the relationship...I must say it is a must read for the woman who want to become gf someday...it's now a reference book that i refer to all the time...the chapters are short and easy to understand.

After reading the "The Boyfriend Test", I couldn't wait for this book to come out! Born and raised in the mid-west I had a lot of old fashioned ideas about dating, but after reading both books I realized some of those old ideas were keeping me from finding the right man for me. "The Girlfriend Test" gives great insight to what men are really thinking, what they expect from a date, as well as a relationship. Men and women want different things from each other and this book helps you get to the heart of what really works and what doesn't. If you're single and wondering why you need to read this book!

I don't know who this woman is, but she sure makes life more clear to me. There are so many little details that go on underneath the "dating dance" that I was unaware of until I read both her books. I was banging my head against the wall for years with guys who wouldn't (couldn't?) commit and now I know that I played an important part in all the drama. Thanks for writing this book, Wendy!

This was really hard to do, to take a look at myself, but the book made me realize what I was contributing to the relationship. If you want to improve your relationships you have to read this book and see what is really going on (and stop blaming him for everything). >

If I only knew then what I know now!! I wouldn't be divorced and dating at 35!! This book really gives it to you straight...no more trying to change guys into something they are not! From now on, I know who I am , and what I want!

I am thrilled that Wendy Walsh has come out with another book. Ms. Walsh writes as if someone (my best girlfriend maybe?) were sitting at starbucks chatting with me. I am married. Pretty happily at that. But did I take the test? yes! Did I pass? yes! Oh my lucky lucky husband!!!! And I have the test results to prove it. I am buying a copy of THE GIRLFRIEND TEST for every girlfriend I have; married or not.