Customer Reviews

The Girlfriends' Guide to Getting your Groove Back (Girlfriends' Guides)

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

Everyone told me how great having kids would be. Personally, I think they were trying to lure me into the "mommy club" by not telling me the rest of the story. While having babies is exciting and defenitely one of life's undisputed miracles, there is an aspect of it that changes you forever. You have to give up a lot of selfish behavior (in that, I mean things that aren't in and of themselves selfish in nature, just things you normally do for yourself: i.e. taking a long, hot bath or having a bit of a lie down whenever you feel like it)and in the process, you lose a bit of yourself. Thank goodness Vicki Iovine and her gaggle of girlfriends have returned to tell me that I'm not alone! It's amazing: you think that passing a certain "stage" (i.e. teething, potty training)is a relief, but in the process, you begin to feel your purpose slip away as your kids grow more and more independent. You begin to think, now what? I've been raising my kids for X amount of years, and I've lost who I am. Wasn't I supposed to just slip right back into the fabulous career woman role with little to no turbulence?!? Vicki is right by our side to lend her shoulder and support, and to tell us (perhaps before we even realize it) that life keeps changing- you never pass a "stage" and get relative calm in your life. She uses the anaolgy of a leaky rowboat. You can either cry about the fact that you're up to your knees in water, or you can grab that bucket and bail the boat out, something you'll have to do again and again as eventually, the rowboat fills up again. Vicki helps us to see the humor in motherhood, and the unique role we play as women, but not in some drippy, "I found this book in the self help section" way. Every piece of advice is peppered with humor. Vicki explains how to focus at work when things at home are chaotic, that we should get over the romantic myth of "date nights", and how to turn to your experienced girlfriends for help through what she calls "mommy adolescence". A must for every mom.

This book is written for the Mommy who has finally put all the kids in school, and now wants to reclaim a part of her old self. Although I still have small ones at home, I found it reassuring that these "stages" parents go through with the kids don't last long, so we might as well enjoy them. At the same time, we need to remember that "we are the only ones who know how much soul-searching time we need to keep functioning as the locomotives that pull the family train." I think a Mother can never hear enough that the days are long but the years are short, and that taking care of yourself must be a priority if we're to make it all fly and stand a chance of enjoying our families and ourselves.

Ms. Iovine has a great knack for hitting the nail of motherhood right on the head. This book is a real look at what most of us moms are going through- loving our family, but wondering when we will have time for ourselves, and why we are so suprised that everyone's needs are being met, but somehow, not our own. I felt this book not only spoke to my struggles at being a mom, wife, carpooler, volunteer and holding a job, but certainly made me feel as if I were not alone on this treadmill. The best advice she gives is to look forward, and that we will never be the single girls we once were, so it is time to create a new identity and take care of ourselves, so we can enjoy our lives NOW and in the future. Thank You for a great book!

Vicki had me giggling through babyhood and terrific (haha) twos, but when the babies have stopped coming and it comes time for them and you to grow up, you're on your own. Until now. Vicki is refreshingly honest, sometimes a bit crudely so, but hey, she doesn't live in small-town America. She understands from experience how a mommy's body and soul have been hijacked for years by a bunch of adorable little fuzzballs (who may now be adolescents themselves and hormonal, while you may still be potty training the caboose!)and that, Hello! her dear husband may be ready to welcome her back to being his honey, and that she might actually be able to respond sans the multitude of interruptions. After all, as Vicki says, now they can get their own glass of water! It's time to get a part of our lives back under control, which we willingly gave away when we were needed so much, and now if we've done our jobs right and have helped our children to achieve some level of independence and self-sufficiency, Vicki kicks us in the (too big)tush and says "Lose it! Get your act together, no more excuses, it's your turn! You've done your time!" Thanks Vicki! I needed that.

In some ways, Ms. Iovine and I couldn't be more different. I haven't worn a pair of high heels since my rehearsal dinner nearly eighteen years ago; makeup is something I put on in five minutes for my husband's annual christmas party; and I still don't know what I want to do with my life--compared to her highly successful career, stylish TV appearances, weekly newspaper columns, etc. But underneath the surface, we're both "mommies," and that experience of trying to meet the infinite needs of your children while keeping a self intact is universal. Or at least, *now* I know it's universal, after reading this book. I found it warmhearted, encouraging, and practical--even when I knew I'd never do what she's suggesting. And even though all of her books have included discussions of highly personal topics, this one seemed even more personal to me, as if she were truly baring her soul at certain spots. I'd highly recommend it, especially to those, like me, whose youngest child is approaching school age and suddenly there is a light at the end of the tunnel--a thought both longed-for and (I find to my surprise) a bit dreaded.

My only complaint, though, is the incredibly sloppy editing. There are typos, misspellings, punctuation marks missing (like periods at the end of sentences). Not Iovine's fault, of course, but the publisher has to be making a fortune off these books, you'd think they could afford a proofreader.

the book seems like two different books. I really enjoyed the first half or so. The "advice" was clear and made sense and I felt like, YES someone understands my feelings. Then, halfway through, the book became more a series of poorly written and poorly edited, hard-to-follow rants that made little to no sense to me at all. There are EXTREMELY long and rambling run-on sentences, some of which never actually complete the thought they began. She randomly uses colons and semi-colons in ways that make the sentences feel disjointed. Things like this may not matter to others, but when the writer and editor are "girlfriends", it annoys me that the reader has to work even harder just to get the gist of what should be an easy and fun read. It feels like she just used this book as a forum to ramble about her own husband-complaints (which I could NOT relate to at all, luckily) and her willingness to let her children walk all over her. She seems to love being needed so much that she has no personal boundaries with her children. To me, part of getting my "groove" back is being able to shower and use the bathroom without children as an audience. Not a great grooving message in my opinion. And how many times in a "grooving Mommy" book does she HAVE to mention getting your kids vaccinated?

All in all, if you love Vicki Iovine and have enjoyed her books before, you will probably like it. But if not, save the money and buy yourself something else to help get your groove back. After reading her thoughts, I realized I never lost my groove after all. It's hard to take advice from someone who obviously lives in a different world from the one I inhabit. Maybe fun to read, but I worry for those women who will take her every word and try to live this book at home.

I purchased this book when my daughter was an infant, not sleeping through the night, etc. And it saved me from losing my mind. I recommend it to every new mom!

Parenting books abound with advice on breastfeeding to whether or not children should receive an allowance, but at last there is a book that discusses what REAL mothers discuss when they get together.

Chapters on feeling comfortable with your body now that the baby machine is put to rest or maintaining a relationship with the man who you were originally involved with (your husband) before your time was taken up by caring for your children are written with an honesty that is usually only heard at coffee clutches.

Tongue and cheek humor fill each chapter even as she discusses the need to stay together for the sake of the children which is sure to raise a few eyebrows in this high divorce rate era.

If you have children who are pass the diaper stage and not yet driving or are about to enter this stage, this book is a must read. OB/GYNs and Pediatricians should make this book mandatory reading; it is always nice to know your not alone and your not as crazy as you think you are!

This books stinks. I've read all the other books and somehow Vicki has bought into gender norms, Christianity, and all the dated tropes of parenting. Does getting older = being a fuddy duddy? This book was PAINFUL to read and I felt like she had some agenda to put me back into the house and not take care of myself. I also don't like that she doesn't note that her husband makes BIG BUCKS. He is a big-time music producer. Please. Her life is radically different from most in the US!! Read _Breeder_ or _Mother's Who Think_ instead of this!

I just read this book, and came to amazon to order copies for all my girlfriends. If you have kids who are in elementary/middle school, this book is for you. We get very caught up in our own little worlds, and forget who we were "before" - when we were groovy and hung out with our friends and had less worries and more fun! This book has great tips for finding that fun groove again, within the context of our current lives. And best of all, it lets us know that MANY of us share the same feelings and wonder how we got to this strange place.
So come on girls - give this a read - you won't be disappointed!