Customer Reviews

The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy: Or everything your doctor won't tell you

5 star:		(627)
4 star:		(163)
3 star:		(78)
2 star:		(84)
1 star:		(231)

 

 

"The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy" is a difficult book to rate. Vicki Iovine's honesty and sense of humor about pregnancy deserves 5 stars. If you find pregnancy difficult for even a moment, this book will be a great comfort to you. It is a delightful antidote to the dry, frightening pregnancy books that flood the market.

But I found myself angry with a couple of the positions Vicki takes and how she presents them, especially regarding natural childbirth. This is why I knocked my rating down to 3 stars. She seems to take it quite personally that some women make birth choices different from her own, and she goes out of her way to be quite rude and petty about it.

The Good Stuff
* Vicki Iovine really and truly understands how traumatic pregnancy weight gain can be. We live in a society where we are taught to hate and fear getting fat, and we cannot just turn that lesson off when we get pregnant. It is HARD to go to the doctor and get weighed all the time, and be judged on if our gain is "acceptable" or not. Vicki gets this, she genuinely does, and it is such a joy to read her rants about it. You're not alone in being scared to step on the scale.

* The Guide includes a realistic, down-to-Earth discussion of what you really need to buy for your new baby, and what you can skip. A huge blessing for new moms!

* Much of Vicki's advice is wonderfully specific. For instance, she doesn't just tell you that you need to bring an outfit to the hospital for the baby to wear home - she tells you exactly what kind of outfit will work the best. She does honestly seem to remember what it's like to be a first-time mom and just not know these things.

* Vicki points out her own way of doing things, but she often describes the different choices her own girlfriends made. It is helpful to have realistic options and know that one way doesn't always work for everybody.

The Bad Stuff
* This book is downright hostile toward mothers who do not have epidurals. Vicki actively discourages women from considering unmedicated birth. She tells her readers that no matter how they feel about epidurals before they go into labor, they will ALL want one as soon as they get to the hospital, anyway, so they should just get used to the idea of having one. She also makes the highly unlikely claim that, even though she seems to have an endless list of girlfriends, she doesn't know a single woman who refused an epidural (except for medical reasons). She stoops so low as to claim that women who birth naturally have uglier faces after delivery. I don't know why she is so aggressive about this, but it is really off-putting. Even if you're not considering natural childbirth yourself, her tone is just downright catty and mean.

* Similarly, she chastises women who are disappointed to end up with c-sections. While she is totally supportive of a mother's turbulent emotions in just about everything else, she states that regretting a c-section is a sign of "self-centeredness." Even though she admits that a few of her girlfriends struggle with this problem. She suddently becomes very cold and uncaring when she covers this topic. Again, she seems to take it personally that some women regret c-sections, simply because she had one. I wish she could be a little more objective.

* Vicki contradicts herself frequently. She is happy to encourage women to embrace the natural process when it comes to weight gain, for instance. But she has no use for the natural process when it comes to birth - she thinks everyone should induce labor at a convenient moment.

* She is sympathetic and understanding about weight gain, but admits that she started out, pre-pregnancy, a size 4. Her definition of getting "big" is pushing a size 10. Most women can't relate to that.

* Vicki does actually suggest that if you don't have sex with your husband during pregnancy, he will get anxious and cheat on you. She has a very narrow and unfair opinion of men.

* She does not tell women not to exercise at all, but she does discourage *vigorous* exercise. This did not bother me. However, her approach did bother me. She goes to great lengths to tell you that if something goes wrong with the baby, and you have been exercising, you will blame yourself. This is true, but it's also true if you don't exercise at all. Mothers always blame themselves - if, God forbid, something happens to your baby and all you did was go to the grocery store that day, you will blame yourself for going to the store. A pregnant woman cannot insulate herself from guilt. Vicki seems to be aware of this, except when it comes to the things she takes personally. And exercise is one of those things. She is annoyed with women who try and "control" their pregnancies by exercising a lot. But she has no proof that this is actually a bad thing. It seems to bother her merely because it is not what she chose to do. Again, her tendency to be dismissive toward women who make other choices is very annoying.

* If you read the 1995 version of this book, the chapter on maternity clothing is hopelessly outdated. But this may be remedied in the second edition that is currently in the works.


Overall, this book is refreshing, fun, and comforting. It will make you feel better about being pregnant. But take Vicki Iovine's rants about epidurals, exercise, and c-sections with a large grain of salt.

I really hated this book. Because I did spend money on it, I did read it all the way through, although very grudgingly. I have a FANTASTIC sense of humor and hardly anything offends me, but this woman managed to do it. Her whiny, self-important, condescending attitude actually made me hurl the book at a wall...and that wasn't just pregnancy hormones. It was THAT bad.

Ms. Iovine, a former Playboy playmate, would like you to believe that she is on YOUR side - she and her bevy of what I'm convinced are imaginary girlfriends. However, she goes on about what an evil thing pregnancy is and that it will rob you of your body and good looks...FOREVER. She clearly states numerous times that after having a baby you will be fat, overweight, unattractive, and have saggy breasts. This was one of the first books I bought after finding out I was pregnant and didn't know what to expect. I literally cried after reading it thinking my life was over. I was surprised Ms. Iovine doesn't have a Smith & Wesson ad in the back of her book. The "you might as well die" tone just unsettled me.

She is obviously unhappy with herself and her life and is looking to bring others down with her. She's like the girl who claims to be your "friend" but gives you backhanded comments every chance she gets (eg. "Oh, wow...those pants really make your butt not look as huge as it really is!"). In reality, I think SHE was probably too lazy to exercise after pregnancy and expects you to throw in the towel, too, and be just as miserable as she is.

For anyone else depressed after reading this, I had my baby and lost all the weight and now have six-pack abs and my breasts don't sag even after six months of breastfeeding. My husband DOES still find me attractive and my life didn't end. Thank you for nothing, Vicki Iovine and your fellow whiny, former size 4 girlfriends.

If you want the "I've been there" assurance from a non-catty girlfriend who is looking out for YOU with laugh-out-loud humor, buy 'Belly Laughs' by Jenny McCarthy or 'Pregnancy Sucks' by Joanne Kimes. Where I wouldn't have a cup of decaf and discuss my burgeoning belly with Ms. Iovine, I'd glady do so with McCarthy and Kimes.

I thought this book was great! How refreshing to hear that it's ok if you eat refined sugar a few times while you're pregnant! What a plus to know you're not the only one who feels fat and unattractive because you're bloated, etc!

A couple of things I disagree with other reviewers about:

1) Some reviewers felt that Vicki hated being pregnant. I didn't get that feeling at all. I just felt she was being realistic that pregnancy is sometimes very hard on your body. It probably won't be the nine months of your life when you feel the healthiest and most relaxed.

2) She never said not to exercise! Folks, if you actually read the whole book (unlike some people who read one or two paragraphs), you'll realize that she does recommend walking and things like water aerobics. What she doesn't recommend (and which she felt may have endangered two of her own pregnancies) is strenuous weight lifting. Based on what I've read, many ob's agree with that.

I feel that alot of the reviewers may be basing negative comments on a couple of paragraphs read in a bookstore (some even say as much), which isn't quite fair.

Overall, I thought it was a great book, and while I may not agree with her on every little point, Vicki has certainly provided me with alot of laughs and alot of starting points for discussions with my obstetrician, my husband, etc.

First, I think it's worth stating the (nearly) obvious: that every woman's pregnancy is a bit different. That said, this book is just out of date and--while apparently funny to some--tiresome in its "I can tell you what the medical community won't" schtick. Most problematic, I think, is the long diatribe against exercise, especially the way Iovine couches the whole discussion in terms of appearance and the American woman's need to look good and her inability to let go and do what nature is telling her to do. She says "Exercise will not help you in labor or delivery in any way." (98) This is simply untrue based on MANY studies (two are: Med Sci Sports Exerc. 1995, May;27(5):634-40; Am J Obstet Gynecol. 1990 Dec;163(6 Pt 1):1799-805). It's just irresponsible for Iovine to suggest that "you might engander the pregnancy" and then to further manipulate the reader emotionally with "even if you don't endanger the pregnancy, if something goes wrong, you will forever wonder if you're exercising caused it." (100)

This section alone is reason to avoid the book. Ms. Iovine is speaking authoritatively based on little more than anecdote and what amounts to folk-wisdom. In writing for mothers-to-be, one would hope for a modicum of science would enter the dialogue. To ignore it is to do the readership a disservice.

If you are overweight, or even sensitive about your weight, don't read this book! Iovine can't resist saying "fat" without adding "and ugly" and she states in the beginning that overweight couch potatoes are not welcome in her circle of "girlfriends." Towards the end of the book, she discusses the pregnant waddle, and reasons that all fat people waddle a bit anyway. She sympathizes with her husband for not being attracted to her. After all, you wouldn't want to sleep with someone as fat as you, right? And she confides that her maternity wardrobe ran all the way up to a (gasp) size ten! The horror!
Although this book was very entertaining and had some good information, I got tired of being slapped every couple of pages. The author simply can't resist seperating her temporarily round self from those of us who struggle with our weight all the time. Does she not realize that the average American woman is a size 14? I really felt like I was reading this book as an outsider, so I waited until a skinny friend got pregnant and gave it to her.
And by the way, Ms. Iovine, I am a size 16 and my husband can't keep his hands off me. It would take a lot more than pregnancy and dark roots to push him away. If your husband is that picky about your looks, I feel sorry for you.

I have never written an Amazon review before, but I was so annoyed by this book that I just had to write one. The book was recommended to me by several people, so maybe I'm in the minority. I'm an avid reader with a good sense of humor, but I failed to see what's so funny or insightful about the "Girlfriends' Guide." I found it to be poorly written, sloppily edited and more irritating than amusing. Vicki Iovine bears no resemblance to my girlfriends. Her viewpoint strikes me as very west-coast-white-upper-middle-class, and much in her book seems dated (leggings with stirrups are her number one fashion tip!). "Girlfriends' Guide" reads like a slightly lewd "Cathy" comic strip without the pictures. She reinforces all sorts of stereotypes of women in general (vain, self-centered) and pregnant women in particular (irrational, grotesquely bloated) that I don't find to be true, much less funny. While I do think there's a market out there for a light-hearted, non-scientific "tell it like it is" book about pregnancy, this isn't the one for me. If you consider yourself smart and literary, you might be disappointed too. I suggest you read a chapter or two in a bookstore before you buy. That's what I should have done.

I'm fully aware that as a expectant dad, I'm not in the "girlfriends" club this book is aimed at; however, I've read all the "What to expect..." type books that my wife has bought or have been given to us, and this was the worst of the lot and the only one I actually found offensive. I thought it might give some insight into what my wife is going through, but instead it told me that I'm an insensitive clod who doesn't really care what she's going through. And that men are just lying when they compliment their wives' changing bodies (not true!) among other absurd stereotypes. This book is a great way to plant the seeds of doubt in a pregngant women's mind and create division between expectant parents. If that's what you want, go for it.

The chapter on excercise is absolutely misleading. The author not only says that excercise can endanger your pregnancy but even hints that out of shape flabby women might actually have easier labors! If you read this book, PLEASE take it with a grain of salt and remember that author is NOT an expert by any means.

I borred this book from a friend, and I am glad that I did. The humor in this book is often lacking, I have read funnier pregnancy books. The material is quite outdated, such as her recommendations for maternity wear - I can not relate to her outfits, or to her ideas to wear a vest over a big shirt, borrowing my husbands clothing, or to long flowy dresses. Much of the material which was supposed to be funny, I found quite negative (exercise portion, the sex). This book published in 1995 should stay in 1995. Updates to the material are definately in order.

A friend sent me this book early in my pregnancy, and I read it cover to cover immediately. Then it resided on my night table (where I revisited newly relevant passages) until it was supplanted by "The Girlfriend's Guide To The First Year." I found it to be very comical, in a warm,reassuring and friendly way. While Vicky is definitely a little too preoccupied with her size 4 body, who among us is not a bit insecure in our body image, no matter what size we are? The point is, this is not a serious reference book.There are many of those available and you should have at least one. This book instead will make you realize that you are not alone; that the wonderful and yet utterly strange things you are experiencing are not unique. At the same time you feel that your complete absorbtion with your own little world is validated-Vicki tells you-"we've all been there!" If you are the first among your sisters and friends to be pregnant, you need this book! If you are not the first, well, its always nice to have new friends.