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Girls Against Girls: Why We Are Mean to Each Other and How We Can Change

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As an adult, don't you always wonder what would have happened if you had known then what you know now? Growing up, I was oftentimes a victim of a lot of mean girl crimes from elementary to high school. Due to the nature of my youth, I lacked confidence and never really knew how to handle myself in those situations. I was too embarrassed to seek advice from anybody, so I ended up letting those situations get the best of me.

I wish I had Girls Against Girls as a reference guide when I was growing up! Sympathetically written, Bonnie Burton never talks down to her readers. You can tell that she understands today's text-loving & Facebook-surfing generation of girls. Bonnie gets straight to the point by not only offering perceptible solutions, but insight as to why mean girls do what they do.

Sadly however, Bonnie admits that mean girls don't disappear after high school. It's true. While I would absolutely buy this book for my (future) daughter, a lot of the fundamental lessons that I read apply to my life now (I'm 28). So, for all girls out there - from 11 to 92 - I'd highly recommend picking up this handy guide to dealing with (and preventing) all this unnecessary drama!

Recently I had been going through a tough time. A girl had created an annonymous website about me and my band, dissing everything from my voice to my clothes. It was not only sad and frustrating, but it was scary-- I didn't know who was behind it, and I had no idea why anyone would want to hurt me in that way. When I read Girls against Girls, everything just started making sence. Not only is it straighforward and honest, but the sound advice it presented gave me the courage to just let it go. You can't change the way people treat you, but you can change the way that you deal with it. This was SUCH a powerful read.

I often feel as if most books about teenage girls acknowledge girl drama, but do not address it holistically. "Girls Against Girls," however, fully explains bullying and abuse among young women through cultural, sociological, and scientific explanations. The book explains brain differences between men and women, the cultural reasons for our problems, and many unexpected factors that contribute to complicated relationships. Have you ever wanted to confront someone about a problem? Have you avoided the conflict and held the anger in because you didn't want to seem unreasonably mean? That's society, coercing you to hold everything in if you want to achieve a sweet, docile image.
The book contains anecdotes and quotes from female authors and performers that support the text. The women make great points: they acknowledge that high school girl drama hurts less with time, but they also explain how to deal with it as it progresses. It's comforting to know that strong, female leaders and artists have experienced petty fights and bullying.
"Girls Against Girls" pulls its concepts together by explaining both bullying tactics and tactics for survival. For everyone who has experienced the silent treatment (yes, you), the book provides methods to eliminate and lessen the pain, but also sympathetically explains why it hurts to be ignored. "Girls Against Girls" also explains methods of cyber-bullying (a trend that most of the contributors did not experience when they were young); the text is modern without seeming cheesy or contrived.
Overall, I feel as if "Girls Against Girls" is an incredibly effective read. The author approaches it with the intention of making her work seem whole, and her goal is achieved. The entire scope of girl drama, (causes and effects), is explained in a personal way that involves the reader. And yes, it is sympathetic, but the book does not fail to acknowledge that every girl can be a mean girl. I would recommend it to anyone who is very curious about bullying and abuse, but I also recommend it to any girl who needs to be completely honest with themselves.

This is the book I was always looking for in the 1990's when I was a teen. I am so glad to have it now, however for my daughters who will be teens in just a few years. Not only does the book give great insight into how we as females act toward each other and how we react to it, but it also has great advice on how to stop the vicious cycles we put ourselves into. The book is full of quotes and even website resources to help out with some of the more difficult issues at hand.

I have to say also, not only teens can benefit from this book, but really any woman of any age can gain something from this book. I found not only great advice to help me in my own life, but also some great pointers that I could give to my 9 and 6 year old daughters, now!

I recommend this book to anyone and everyone, I guaranty you will walk away from it with something that will help you in your day to day life no matter what your age or situation.

The subject of teen bullying has been in the news a lot lately and for good reason. High school is like war for most people and so many young men and women aren't given the proper tools to get through their childhoods and young adulthood without turning into bullies or being bullied themselves. Bonnie Burton is an incredible gal and she has created an excellent guide to that complicated world of female interaction. I've certainly seen how cruel girls can be to one another and I applaud Ms. Burton for delving into such a complicated and vitally important subject.

I'm so glad that someone has finally written this book. The politics of the playground and high school is something that defines every woman I know. It's an incredibly harsh world out there for young girls, and a survival guide like this is invaluable. As another reviewer said, I wish I had this in high school. But I'm glad that other girls have it, and I recommend this as a gift for every daughter, neice, friend, etc that you know. Make sure they read it. Make sure they know they aren't alone.

Girls Against Girls attacks the age old question of why are girls so mean to each other? It's crazy to think that one girl can ruin another's life without breaking a sweat. Tactics such as gossip, dumping, verbal abuse, and even the silent-treatment have become typical attacks in the high school environment and beyond. Severe cases leave young girls with life altering disabilities such as eating disorders, depression, paranoia, or one of many other mental diseases that carry on into adulthood. The question still stands: why do we do this to each other?

Author Bonnie Burton addresses the topic in a concise and straightforward manner. While I find it hard to believe that a teen girl would pick this book up on their own, I think that it would be a good resource for parents, teachers, and counselors to use to address the abuse that happens between girls. I believe this is a good book for parents to look at in order to gain a quick glance at some of the common problems among teenage girls today. A lot of the fighting between girls is overlooked because it is happening quietly or seen as a simple dispute between two people. It's not easy to gauge how bad the fight may be or how much damage it may be doing. In a way, guys have it easy: they yell, they punch, they forget....but women remember forever and man can they hold a grudge.

Gold Star Award Winner!

Why are girls so mean to each other? Are they jealous? Intimidated? See other girls as competition? Whatever the reason, malicious gossiping, social shunning, vicious taunting, and cyber-bullying will often occur.

So how do we break the cycle? Through this book, girls will learn some of the reasoning behind why girls can be so vicious - and what they can do to make it stop.

The author takes a very balanced approach with this book. She not only addresses the victims, but the mean girls, as well. Her white space, layout, and illustrations are excellent and well-used. The information she presents is well-researched and takes a common-sense approach to breaking the cycle of meanness, envy, and passive-aggressive behaviors.

With quotes from famous artists and athletes and an easy-to-understand text that gives adolescents hope, GIRLS AGAINST GIRLS is a must-have for any teenage girl and school or library collection.

Reviewed by: Kira M