The Girl's Guide to Being a Boss (Without Being a Bitch): Valuable Lessons, Smart Suggestions, and True Stories for Succeeding as the Chick-in-Charge [Hardcover]

Caitlin Friedman (Author), Kimberly Yorio (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 18, 2006

So, you finally got that promotion. You’re the boss now. The supervisor. The manager. The captain. The taskmaster. Those days of taking orders, running errands, and clock-watching are over. As exciting as all this might seem, once the rush of the promotion is over, you might be scratching your head wondering exactly what to do. Being the boss is never easy, but it's twice as hard for a woman. It seems like there's no middle ground. Either you're the dragon lady who rules with an iron fist or the mousey girl who gets drowned out at every meeting. When a woman wields authority and dares to make tough decisions, how often is the "B-word" bandied about by her employees? How can she strike that balance between pushover and dictator?

Fear not. You can do the job. All you need is a little helpful advice to send you on your way. Whether you supervise two as a shift manager or lord over an entire corporate empire, Caitlin Friedman and Kim Yorio will show you how to step gracefully into your new position of power. They’ll teach you how to motivate your team without alienating them, how to delegate without feeling guilty, how to deal with office politics and how to handle evaluations, promotions, and even firings. And for those of you who are already running the show, they can help you become the mentor your employees deserve.

Inside, there are self-assessment questionnaires to help you find out where you land on the bitch or wimp scale; interviews with prominent female bosses, human-resources directors, and therapists; and advice from a whole host of experts. In addition, there are funny and informative checklists and tips to make sure you’re the Good Witch around the office and not the Big Bitch. And, most important, Caitlin and Kim will teach you the secrets to owning your role and loving it. You’ve earned your promotion, so enjoy it!

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Since the early 1980s, studies have shown that the techniques utilized by successful men in leadership roles do not have the same effects when practiced by women in similar contexts. It is commonly known that when a woman behaves like her male counterpart, she is often negatively labeled as cold, tough, etc. In addition, women have fewer female role models to whom they can turn for advice and assistance. Friedman and Yorio help readers through this dilemma by compiling personal anecdotes, pop culture references and an array of interviews with female leaders in various fields in an attempt to offer the support and encouragement women need to excel as leaders. The authors state that the patience, strength, wisdom, resourcefulness and nurturance that society cultivates in women might actually make females better managers than males. The book is filled with numerous examples of management styles as well as quizzes to determine if the reader is a "Good Witch" or a "Bad Bitch" with regard to her own leadership skills. Leaders of any gender will find solace in reading these stories from the trenches and may learn some new tips to improve on their own leadership skills as well. (Apr. 4)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From School Library Journal

Adult/High School–This crash course in management covers the gamut in perky prose, from hiring to firing and everything in between. The authors provide examples of their principles with stories from their experiences as bosses and with reports of other female executives. Interviews with successful businesswomen add insight into techniques on which the chapter focuses. Other stories about bosses who were either good witches or bad bitches provide juicy anecdotes. Not all issues will apply to every teen in a leadership position, but young women will find this a handy guide. Whether student-body president or yearbook editor, or at work in another environment, teens will find tools, techniques, and advice that they can use to lead people more efficiently and effectively.–Jane S. Drabkin, Chinn Park Regional Library, Woodbridge, VA
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Crown Business (April 18, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0767922840
• ISBN-13: 978-0767922845
• Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 0.8 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #421,642 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Girls Guide is always on Caitlin's mind. She's constantly coming up with new ways to make the Girls Guide more relevant and helpful to women who work. The evolution of the Girls Guide from one book to four and now this web-site has been under her creative direction for the past three years. Not that she figures out complicated mathematical problems on her way to sleep. But rather, she can't seem to turn it off and will find herself lying there thinking about where they can take Girls Guide next, another children's book she should write or the dialog from some guilty pleasure movie.

In the daylight hours Caitlin and Kim run a food-focused PR business called YC Media and have written four books to help women achieve professional success:

The Girl's Guide to Starting Your Own Business
The Girl's Guide to Being a Boss without Being a Bitch
The Girl's Guide to Kicking Your Career Into Gear
Happy at Work, Happy at Home (coming out September 2009).

Whenever possible, Caitlin and Kim speak to women about the importance of building self-confidence at work by being yourself and have appeared on national television including the Today Show multiple times, and in magazines including Time and Real Simple.

Caitlin is married to writer Andrew Friedman and the mother of twins. She loves chick-lit, most everything on television, great bbq and an uninterrupted bath that lasts at least an hour.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Female manager, May 22, 2006

By 

Reader "cvrcak1" (Boca Raton, FL) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Girl's Guide to Being a Boss (Without Being a Bitch): Valuable Lessons, Smart Suggestions, and True Stories for Succeeding as the Chick-in-Charge (Hardcover)

As a first time manager, I was thrilled to see advertisement for this book. It really was the title that attracted me to it. I was delighted to learn that my intuition about my employees behavior was not my imagination, and this book nailed it. It was interesting to read about people behavior, gossip, reluctunce of male counterparts to cooperate in workplace. This easy to read book was pure blessing with its down to earth advice and excellent reference index. Once I finished reading this book, I was able to continue my management education thru referring to other book materials that address leadership issues and what is means to be a female manager. This is great book for both managers and employees. It does not matter is you work in corporate world or you own your business. Advice from this book applies to all work environments.

24 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Some Valuable Advice - and Some Things to Ignore, April 8, 2008

By 

Lisa Shea "medieval swordfighting enthusiast" - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)    (TOP 50 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: The Girl's Guide to Being a Boss (Without Being a Bitch): Valuable Lessons, Smart Suggestions, and True Stories for Succeeding as the Chick-in-Charge (Paperback)

The full name of this book is The Girl's Guide to Being a Boss (Without Being a Bitch). The title bothers me - it seems a marketing ploy to catch people's attention while perpetuating a stereotype which is more suitable to the 1980s than the current decade. There are thousands of great female bosses out there. Over half of all graduate students are female. I've worked for many companies and never have had a problem because I'm female - or had a problem with females in management.

That being said, I know many women have trouble in a position of power - and I know that some people still have an issue with women being *in* power. Heck, there are still people around who look down on people for having dark skin. So if this book helps people in that situation, it's doing a good thing.

One indicator of the mindset of the authors is that the book is about 200 pages long - but they explain that they originally had a chapter on "why being a boss sucks" and that one chapter ALONE was over 200 pages and had to be drastically trimmed. What an awful attitude to have!! That's like having a book for moms with a gigantic chapter on "why being a mom sucks". As we all know, the things you focus on end up being the things that take over your life. If you focus on all the awful things about being a boss, that is not a healthy way of living. Heck, why not choose a different career path then, one that does not involve management, if you truly hate being a boss so much? Some people simply are more happy not having control over others. That is fine.

I'm not saying that you should ignore the challenges of being a boss. Certainly, there are challenges! But they are simply skills you need to learn to master, not "being a boss sucks" situations.

What are some of the challenges? The book tells you that as a woman you are likely to "freak out" and must not do that. You must take responsibility for your team, on caring well for them. You have to give credit to them, not steal it from them. You have to stay "consistent, loyal and unbiased". You have to be firm but fair. Learn to delegate.

The book tells you these things via little stories, and by proving lists. For example, as a boss you should post this above your desk: make a to-do list, set goals, stick to deadlines, keep your word, get it in writing, be proactive, think of the entire company, contribute to your team, focus on the big picture, be your own cheerleader, sell yourself stick up for yourself, don't be personal, network, and find a mentor. The book gives you little mantras. Give constructive feedback, not personal criticism. Leave everyone's self esteem intact.

However, the book is not as great at providing actual solutions. It sends you a lot of messages, but does not provide a lot of concrete help. It says many times to be calm, cool and collected at all times - but doesn't give any advice for women who are emotional. It tells you not to be friends with your subordinates, not to drink with co-workers, and (I kid you not) to have all of your minions snap to attention when you enter a meeting room. It apparently is a bad sign if they keep talking when you enter, rather than all looking immediately to you and waiting with hushed breath for your next precious word.

I definitely agree that many of the suggestions here are good ones, if common sense. Praise in public, criticize in private. Don't focus on blame, focus on improving and fixing things. If you apologize, apologize specifically "I am very sorry for xxxxxx" rather than generically.

And I suppose if for some women the "chatty girl" approach of the book gets across a message that they did not understand or absorb otherwise, that is a good thing. We all learn in different ways, and we all have different styles.

Still, it bothers me that women would focus on the mindset of "I have to be careful not to be a bitch" - or that women would focus on the "being a boss sucks" idea. Again, if you have something stuck in your mind, it affects how you act and how others act towards you. It is far more productive to focus on "being a mentor to others is a fantastic opportunity" - and then find ways to make that happen and to handle any challenges that stand in your way. I would much rather see more books come out with that focus.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Bitches, man, April 19, 2006

By 

Hostess with the Mostest (New York, NY) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Girl's Guide to Being a Boss (Without Being a Bitch): Valuable Lessons, Smart Suggestions, and True Stories for Succeeding as the Chick-in-Charge (Hardcover)

I bet any woman in the workforce will not only have female bosses from hell stories, but will also be able to recount times when they've been accused of attitude when that really was not the case. Is it possible for a woman to be powerful without being a bitch? Yes. Is it always the case that nice girls don't get the corner office? Not at all. Is this hard thing to pull off? Most definitely. But this new book makes it much easier with sound advice, true stories from an array of businesswomen, and tips for how to be a good (and successful)"chick-in-charge." And with more women working, more female bosses and more chiquitas owning businesses than ever before, it's a necessary book.