Give Sorrow Words: A Father's Passage Through Grief [Hardcover]

Tom Crider (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 4, 1996

When Tom Crider's only child, Gretchen, died in an apartment fire at age twenty-one, there seemed to be no answers to his questions. Now Tom Crider has written the book he searched for in his grief and couldn't find, one that offers--without sermons or certainty--companionship in agony and an exploration of spiritual issues related to death. It's a book for good people who've had bad things happen but who can't find consolation in prayer. It's a book for readers--people who would, in sorrow, naturally turn to books for shared experience, reflection, wisdom, comfort in words passed down through the ages. Filled with gleanings from the wisdom and text of many cultures, Tom Crider shares with us the wisdom that helped him find peace and understanding. GIVE SORROW WORDS is a book for any bereaved person facing the loss of a loved one.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Following the death of his only child, Gretchen, in an apartment fire, the author found himself unconsoled by the often simplistic responses to death and mourning of both traditional Christianity and New Age spirituality. So he set out, instead, to find more meaningful words in the world's literature, from Shakespeare to Dostoyevski and Eliot. Taking Macbeth's edict to "give sorrow words" for "the grief that does not speak/ Whispers the o'er fraught heart and bids it break," as his credo, Crider began a yearlong journal of recovery in which he sought understanding, consolation and healing in the company of a wide range of stories and poems about death and hope. In simple but elegant prose, he bares his soul and shares his journey eschewing the self-conscious spiritual posing of writers like M. Scott Peck to offer, instead, an excruciatingly honest and textured account of a hard spiritual and emotional journey.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Both authors have lost young adult daughters: Crider's daughter died in a fire, and Cosman's was shot by an acquaintance. Both fathers were prosperous professionals, and both daughters were happily pursuing their dreams when they unexpectedly died. Now the fathers have written very personal narratives of their grieving experiences. Crider, who drew the title for his book from Macbeth, offers the more sophisticated, even occasionally self-indulgent, of the two books. Presented in a journal format, it differs from most narratives of this type in his grappling with the eschatological dilemmas of his nonbelief in the Judeo-Christian tradition. Though the reader will empathize with his grief, Crider's sometimes awkward style?he frequently shifts from first- to third-person?can be distracting. Cosman's journal also addresses his disbelief in traditional religious explanations of injustice and death. Because he is dealing with a violent loss, he addresses other issues of broad concern today. In addition, he uses biographical information from his own childhood to clarify the evolution of his beliefs, making this telling of his journey through the grieving process far more readable. Similar to Ruth Coughlin's Grieving: A Love Story (Random, 1993), these books are neither instructional nor inspirational but are personal journals meant to provide solace via feelings of solidarity. Libraries with little or nothing on the subject should also consider more practical guides such as Candy Lightner's Giving Sorrow Words: How To Cope with Grief and Get on with Life (Warner, 1991) or Helen Fitzgerald's The Mourning Handbook (LJ 9/15/94).?A. Arro Smith, San Marcos P.L., Tex.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 192 pages
• Publisher: Algonquin Books; 1st edition (January 4, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1565121163
• ISBN-13: 978-1565121164
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 6.3 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #451,412 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Freedom to Grieve while searching for a Way., June 18, 1998

By A Customer

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Give Sorrow Words: A Father's Passage Through Grief (Hardcover)

I personally have not lost a child but am an only child who has lost her parents. I have many friends who have lost young and adult children and want to have each of them read this positive account of the grieving process. The hardest thing to do is find the right words. Tom Crider's words say it and leave you believing in rainbows.

5.0 out of 5 stars A Book for Rational People Who Are Grieving, May 19, 2011

By 

Linny M (Penn Valley, PA) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Give Sorrow Words: A Father's Passage Through Grief (Hardcover)

Tom Criden's book is one of the most insightful I have ever read on the process of grieving. It is one of the few that doesn't present irrational beliefs such as heaven and an afterlife. It is a book for intelligent people.

4.0 out of 5 stars A true journey, May 11, 2010

By 

Ravi Isaiah - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Give Sorrow Words: A Father's Passage Through Grief (Hardcover)

This book offers a turly unique journey into grief. The author was able to capture the details of his process. A must read.