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Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus Paperback – May 4, 2011


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 216 pages
  • Publisher: Crossway (May 4, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1433520095
  • ISBN-13: 978-1433520099
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (159 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #5,896 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

So many Christian parents fall into the trap of asking the law to do in the hearts of their children what only grace can accomplish. Armed with threats, manipulation, and guilt, they attempt to create change that only the cross of Jesus Christ makes possible. It is so encouraging to read a parenting book that points parents to the grace of the cross and shows them how to be instruments of that grace in the lives of their children. Paul Tripp, President, Paul Tripp Ministries In our human attempts to raise good and godly kids, we often forget that God extended his best grace to us. We are not full of grace on our own; we desperately need his grace. Elyse Fitzpatrick and her daughter, Jessica, provide a great tool to guide parents down the road of gracious parenting. I commend it to you. James MacDonald, Senior Pastor, Harvest Bible Chapel, Chicagoland Area; radio teacher, Walk in the Word Elyse Fitzpatrick continues her never-ending quest to churn out grace-filled, Christ-centered, gospel-saturated books. And now she s done it again with her daughter, Jessica, coauthoring this excellent parenting book! If you are a parent, get online and order your copy of Give Them Grace today! --Deepak Reju Pastor of Biblical Counseling and Families, Capitol Hill Baptist Church

So many Christian parents fall into the trap of asking the law to do in the hearts of their children what only grace can accomplish. Armed with threats, manipulation, and guilt, they attempt to create change that only the cross of Jesus Christ makes possible. It is so encouraging to read a parenting book that points parents to the grace of the cross and shows them how to be instruments of that grace in the lives of their children. Paul Tripp, President, Paul Tripp Ministries; author, What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage In our human attempts to raise good and godly kids, we often forget that God extended his best grace to us. We are not full of grace on our own; we desperately need his grace. Elyse Fitzpatrick and her daughter, Jessica, provide a great tool to guide parents down the road of gracious parenting. I commend it to you. James MacDonald, Senior Pastor, Harvest Bible Chapel, Chicagoland Area; radio teacher, Walk in the Word Elyse Fitzpatrick continues her never-ending quest to churn out grace-filled, Christ-centered, gospel-saturated books. And now shes done it again with her daughter, Jessica, coauthoring this excellent parenting book! If you are a parent, get online and order your copy of Give Them Grace today! Deepak Reju Pastor of Biblical Counseling and Families, Capitol Hill Baptist Church The authors, mother and daughter remind us that parenting is not only hard but also impossible. Yes, we need to nurture, teach, discipline, train, pray, and model, but we must not depend on our parenting skills to change the hearts of our children. Instead, they counsel parents to rely on the faithfulness of Jesus, our great high priest, to change their hearts. Grace for both parents and children flows through the pages of this book; I only wish I had read it at the beginning of my parenting instead of the end. Rose Marie Miller, missionary; author, From Fear to Freedom This is not just a book on parenting; this is deep training in the gospel. Elyse Fitzpatrick shows parents how to model themselves after the heavenly Father, who changed his children not by wrath and the law but by grace. A lot of books talk about gospel-centeredness in theory; this book shows you how to apply it to one of lifes most important relationships. --J. D. Greear, Senior Pastor, The Summit Church, Durham, North Carolina --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

Review

“So many Christian parents fall into the trap of asking the law to do in the hearts of their children what only grace can accomplish. Armed with threats, manipulation, and guilt, they attempt to create change that only the cross of Jesus Christ makes possible. It is so encouraging to read a parenting book that points parents to the grace of the cross and shows them how to be instruments of that grace in the lives of their children.”
Paul David Tripp, President, Paul Tripp Ministries; author, What Did You Expect? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage

“In our human attempts to raise good and godly kids, we often forget that God extended his best grace to us. We are not full of grace on our own; we desperately need his grace. Elyse Fitzpatrick and her daughter, Jessica, provide a great tool to guide parents down the road of gracious parenting. I commend it to you.”
James MacDonald, Pastor, Harvest Bible Chapel, Rolling Meadows, Illinois; author, Vertical Church

“Elyse Fitzpatrick continues her never-ending quest to churn out grace-filled, Christ-centered, gospel-saturated books. And now she’s done it again with her daughter, Jessica, coauthoring this excellent parenting book! If you are a parent, get online and order your copy of Give Them Grace today!”
Deepak Reju, Pastor of Biblical Counseling and Families, Capitol Hill Baptist Church

“The authors—mother and daughter—remind us that parenting is not only hard but also impossible. Yes, we need to nurture, teach, discipline, train, pray, and model, but we must not depend on our parenting skills to change the hearts of our children. Instead, they counsel parents to ‘rely on the faithfulness of Jesus, our great high priest, to change their hearts.’ Grace for both parents and children flows through the pages of this book; I only wish I had read it at the beginning of my parenting instead of the end.”
Rose Marie Miller, missionary; author, From Fear to Freedom

“This is not just a book on parenting; this is deep training in the gospel. Elyse Fitzpatrick shows parents how to model themselves after the heavenly Father, who changed his children not by wrath and the law but by grace. A lot of books talk about gospel-centeredness in theory; this book shows you how to apply it to one of life’s most important relationships.”
J. D. Greear, Lead Pastor, The Summit Church, Durham, North Carolina; author, Stop Asking Jesus into Your Heart: How to Know for Sure You Are Saved


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Customer Reviews

Every Christian parent should read this book!!!!
Anna
All and all, Give them Grace is an excellent parenting book that will help you bring the gospel of God's grace to yourself and your children.
Mike Parks
Great book that provides both biblical justification and practical application of gospel-centered parenting.
Matt Nethers

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

309 of 317 people found the following review helpful By E. Hankins on July 15, 2011
Format: Paperback
Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson explain what makes Christian parenting unique: it isn't merely about turning out "good" kids; it's about pointing all of our kids to the Savior. While rules are a necessary part of parenting, Elyse and Jessica say, they aren't the primary theme, the work of Christ is. The law doesn't transform the heart...It only hardens them in pride (because they're successfully obeying it) or despair (because they aren't pg. 68).

One of the strengths of Give Them Grace is that it not only encourages the parent to give grace to his/her children, but it also gives a good measure of grace to the parent. Here are a few quotes to whet your appetite:

We must trust in His "ability to transform hearts, not in our ability to be consistent or faithful...Freedom to love and enjoy our children flows out of the knowledge that God saves them in spite of our best efforts, not because of them. Salvation of the Lord" (pg. 53).

It's not up to me; it's a work of God. "When we're quietly resting in grace, we'll have grace to give our children, too. When we're freed from the ultimate responsibility of being their savior, we'll find our parenting burden becoming easy and light" (pg. 55).

Elyse and Jessica touch briefly on idolatry and unbelief as it pertains to parenting:

"We have far too high a view of our ability to shape our children and far too low a view of God's love and trustworthiness. So we multiply techniques and try to control the outcome" (pg. 57).

In Give Them Grace, Elyse and Jessica also make much of God. This book is encouraging, Gospel-centered, and grace-filled through and through.

In spite of all of the strengths of this book, I do have a few reservations.

1.
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93 of 98 people found the following review helpful By John A. Bird on May 27, 2011
Format: Paperback
In the forward to Give Them Grace by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson, Tullian Tchividjian says it's "the best parenting book [he's] ever read, because it takes the radical, untamable, outrageous nature of the gospel seriously and applies it to parenting." And the authors do take the gospel seriously. The difference between their book and other Christian parenting books, they say, is that theirs emphasizes grace rather than law:

"Most of us are painfully aware that we're not perfect parents. We're also deeply grieved that we don't have perfect kids. But the remedy to our mutual imperfection isn't more law, even if it seems to produce tidy or polite children."

These two experienced mothers don't pretend that they are perfect, that their children are perfect, or that they have the secret key to perfection. They don't give readers a formula for parenting; there are no "three steps," or even specified rod dimensions (though they do say that an open hand is okay, regardless of what other parenting books have said). Instead, they remind us that it is God, and not parents, who determines a child's destiny in this life and the next, and that we need His grace as much as our children do. They also give lots of encouragement to weary, imperfect parents:

"[God] doesn't treat his dear children as `disappointments' whose disobedience and failures take him by surprise or shock him. He does not suspend his love until they get their acts back together. He already knows the worst about you (in yourself) and loves and approves you nonetheless (in Christ).
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42 of 43 people found the following review helpful By TulipGirl on July 6, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is the book I wish had been published twenty years ago.

I've made plenty of mistakes as a mother, and I know I'll make plenty more. Yet each year the Lord seems to help me see more clearly my need for the grace of the Gospel in my life and in my parenting. I've discussed with friends, with my pastor, at church potlucks, "What does it look like to reflect the Gospel in our parenting relationships?"

Increasingly these discussion of the Gospel and grace in parenting are taking place among moms in playgroups, in churches, on blogs.

But very few books have been published that really address this question in a fundamental way; very few books to pass along to friends and to say, "Hey, this really encouraged me to look to the grace of the Gospel as a mom."

Enter Elyse Fitzpatrick and her daughter Jessica. (What a perk, writing as a team! One with the wisdom of experience, one with the fresh "this is what it feels like in the trenches" perspective.)

Key points that I really like about this book:

* Give them Grace differentiates between moralism and the Gospel: "Mormons, Muslims, and moralistic atheists all share the belief that law can perfect us, but Christians don't. Christians know that the law can't save us; what we need is a Savior."

* It warns against formula parenting: "Giving grace to our children is not another formula that guarantees their salvation or obedience. Grace-parenting is not another law for you to master to perfect your parenting or your children."

* It encourages going back to the what Christ has done (and often quotes one of my favorite books,
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