Customer Reviews

Giving up America

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

The sad dissolution of a marriage is often fodder for fiction, but seldom is this experience related with the bittersweet understanding and penetrating insight found in Giving Up America, a second novel by Pearl Abraham.

As in her well received debut, The Romance Reader, Ms. Abraham's latest offering is framed by Jewish tradition, the dichotomy between Hasidic and Orthodox beliefs, the struggle to reconcile centuries old values with contemporary secular life in that quintessential street-of-dreams city - New York.

Despite paternal objections, Deena has married Daniel, an Orthodox Jew. Her father, a scholarly Hasidic, opposed the marriage for Kabbalistic reasons, citing numerics to warn her that the sum of the numbers assigned to the couple's names forms the Hebrew word for "pain." "Within a mere two years," he cautioned, "you'll know it was never meant to be. But it will take more than two years to correct your error."

Deena becomes a copy writer for an ad agency, employment she considers irrelevant, "The best ad was only an ad; and it was disposable." After seven years, the pair buy the home of their dreams, an older house in need of restoration. Finding satisfaction in the labor of "scraping, stripping, sanding and painting," Deena is content. But Daniel grows restless, saying he works hard enough during the week, and wants something else on weekends. He suggests inviting Jill, the new secretary at his office, and Ann, her roommate, to dinner. A former North Carolina department store model and Miss America wannabe, Jill laughs easily, bringing a heretofore unknown insouciance into their home. As the friendship between the four grows, Daniel and Deena attempt ballroom dancing lessons, even buy a Walkman in their attempts to become au courant.

But this is a mix that curdles rather than blends. As their habits become more secularized, as Deena and Daniel discover more about themselves individually, they appreciate each other less. Daniel, Deena opines "fastened onto bad news like it was some kind of insurance." While Daniel sees his wife as difficult, obsessed with running.

Eventually, Deena suspects that Daniel has become romantically involved with Jill. There are late night whispered phone calls, and his admission that he has kissed her. Fleeing from a situation she does not know how to resolve, Deena moves into a co-worker's Manhattan apartment. When she sees her friend's name by an entrance bell, "...suddenly Deena wanted her own name affixed on a door somewhere in this city. She'd never lived alone."

While Daniel, "...frightened and exhilarated at once," pulls off his ever present yarmulke, "the constant cover a lid, and walked like that bareheaded under the blue-ink sky, under the stars, under the eyes of God."

Finding her freedom intoxicating, Deena is attracted to another man, and refuses to return home. When pleas from Daniel's family are ignored, Daniel phones to say that he has spoken with the rabbi, "I'm filing for divorce. I have to....the local rabbi advises a quick divorce to minimize the sin."

"A divorce," Deena thinks. "As easy as that. She wouldn't have to ask for it....The rabbi advised and Daniel agreed. He was a victim, a man sinned against by his wife, which couldn't be allowed."

Ms. Abraham, the daughter of a Chassidic Orthodox rabbi, knows well the world of which she writes. Giving Up America may represent many who walk a tight rope, attempting to balance a life circumscribed by tradition with their desire to enjoy the bounty proffered by a millennium-bound secular world. Nonetheless, the author has crafted a moving story of becoming, of growing self-awareness, related in subtle, tempered tones. Ms. Abraham's prose makes no strident demands. It doesn't have to. Her suggestions are powerful.

Pearl Abraham's second book, Giving Up America, illustrates the gradual tears in moral fiber that people of every background may experience when an important relationship is tested. While Pearl Abraham's book deals with the testing of the marriage of a young Hasidic wife and her Orthodox Jewish husband by his attraction to a Southern beauty, it illuminates as well the testing of other relationships.

Deena and Daniel do not enjoy the support of an involved family. Each belongs to a separate community of work friends who owe their allegiance to the individual instead of the couple. The "foreign" natures of the couple and the Southern beauty they befriend do not threaten the marriage; but the lack of family, societal and cultural support helps to make it vulnerable.

As is the case for many melting pot marriages, the marriage of Deena and Daniel is tested at its very foundation. Abraham inspects every crack, every weakness, every short cut taken, every neglected aspect of maintenance in the marriage. Giving Up America made me wonder whether a couple who attend to their relationship with the same devout attention lavished on their home might have a better chance no matter how different the persons' background.

In The Romance Reader, Abraham's protagonist breaks with tradition when tradition collides with her dreams. In Giving Up America, the bonds of tradition wear away long before daily friction begins to whittle away at the protagonist's dreams. Readers don't need to be Jewish to identify with the characters. They need only be willing to observe the often infinitesimal crumbling that undermines marriage and faith so painfully.

this book is not really about a man leaving his wife for a model. That would be a very shortsighted and superficial way to look at this book. I am a 27 yr old catholic woman but I could really relate to Deena. She is really someone caught between two worlds like many women my age who felt like marriage was the answer but found out it can keep you from being a truly magnificent woman and forces you to compromise much of your inner integrity. As a first generation american albeit of irish descent, I could also relate to her feelings about keeping hasidic tradition as opposed to the more americanized orthodox jewish ways. This is something that I also have to deal with in my search for a life partner because most american men do not understand the way that I was brought up and I find it difficult to find a good alignment to my ideas and feelings. Americans do not realize how difficult it can be at times to truly blend in on a very deep level. The character was very interesting and really is on a journey to live with integrity as a unique individual in the american landscape. The title of reflects the main characters toying with the idea of just giving up and moving back to Jerusalem and living a traditional life. I will not give away the ending but obviously this book spoke to me and I look forward to reading other novels by this author.

Giving Up America gives an unfair view of what orthodox Judaism can be and what it usually is to those who lovingly adhere to it. Adherence includes all the beautiful traditions and rich customs and meaningful family life. It is not about keeping ancient laws that have no connection to you. It is about connection; connection with generations past and generations future. The author sadly relinquished her connection when she left her yiddishkeit behind. Daniel does not in any way represent a true orthodox jew. He is sad, his life is empty, and he is looking for a way to fill his void. Where are the children? Where is the community life? The charity work? The holidays? The shul? The weddings? The births? The family celebrations? This is orthodox judaism. Giving Up America is Pearl Abraham's way of ridding the ghosts that haunt her.

I found the book very interesting because the writer makes us clear what happens in the minds of both persons. She lets us know the differences in their characters. The most interesting for me was that in every chapter you could feel the distance between them growing. There was already a difference between them, but meeting people from the world outside their Jewish community made the developments going faster. If you read the book you feel that it's inevitable that they will split at the end. You feel that there could not be another way.
The writer lets us live the whole story together with the main characters and that is why I liked the book. So....Go buy or rent the book!!!!

For anyone just now becoming acquainted with Pearl Abraham's writing, I would recommend skipping this book and reading "Romance Reader," her first novel. The characters in "America" are less well drawn, less sympathetic, and less compelling. Ultimately, I had a difficult time reading this book, as I didn't like any of the characters well enough to really commit to them.

The novel is the story of Daniel and Deena, a recently married Jewish couple. As time goes by, it becomes clear that their religious background is almost all they share, as they walk about their new house becoming increasingly isolated from each other. Deena becomes increasingly shrewish, while Daniel, seemingly uncharacteristically, becomes a flirt with their common friends.

Will they separate or won't they? This is also the central conceit of "Romance Reader." Unlike that novel, however, there is no one character to sympathize with or to keep you interested in their plight.

This novel shows promise but is ultimately unfulfilling. It is a major let-down after the deeply felt "Reader."

A chassidic woman married to an orthodox jewish manfor seen years and no children. There's no law that says such a couple has to have children, but if they don't, it's a stark contrast from their respective traditions and to avoid dealing with it, as the author has, means there's much to the inner lives of these characters we aren't learning (I wonder if the author has even thought them out). This is just one example of the sort of short cuts that drive me crazy in this book. Such an approach to the "little" things leaves me entirely unconvinced regarding the supposed "big" themes of this novel.

Pearl Abraham has written another book that quietly grips the reader from the first to the final page. In direct and beautifully spare prose, this story of a marriage focuses on ordinary life; somehow Abraham manages to make mundane details significantly interesting. Giving Up America is an engaging, honest look at everyday life that offers complex insights which remain with the reader long after the book has been finished. I've read and re-read this book and continue to love it.

I just read Giving Up America and experienced it as a real page-turner. It's quite different from The Romance Reader, Pearl Abraham's first book, and interestingly so. It's a more difficult book somehow. The themes aren't obvious and the writing more subtle, which probably means that lay readers won't take to it. Oh well. My advice to the writer of the above criticism: It might be wise to learn to spell before passing judgement on a true and gifted writer. I highly recommend Giving Up America to all those who like reading books that make them think.

I loved the Romance Reader and Pearl Abraham tops that book with her latest novel. Easy to read from beginning to end and just the right length. Her style is wonderful. I am surprised by some of the criticism posted here. The characters are very well developed and original. O f all the writers I have read in the last couple of years that explore these kinds of themes, Ms. Abraham is the best.