Customer Reviews

Glaen: A Novel Message on Romance, Love and Relating

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There are a lot of Christian books on dating and relationships. Most of them advocate one form of hooking up over another, whether it be dating, non-dating, courting, or arranged marriages. They tend to tout themselves as being the most biblical, based on their interpretation of scripture, or the most successful, based on their personal experience. From my many years of pre-marital and marital counseling I tend to see each couple's coupling as unique and their learned ability to relate to each other in love is much more of an art than it is a procedure.

I was given the opportunity to review the book, Glaen, by Dr. Fred Lybrand. He attempts to share his perspectives on how to succeed in love and marriage but with a couple of differences from these other books. First off, he hasn't prescribed to a specific method of dating at all; instead he pulls out principles of how people relate to each other--recognizing that the methodology of putting those principles in place may vary from couple to couple. Secondly, he shares his findings as a story, allowing one of his characters, college student Annie, to discover these principles and then write them down in a series of lies she's believed about relationships as well as their countering truths.

Annie has parents that are divorcing, a sister who treats her boyfriends as arm-candy, a best friend who chases off each boyfriend with her over-commitment, while Annie herself is a bit relational-phobic because she is scared that she doesn't understand how to make a relationship work. She takes on a daunting writing assignment from her quirky college professor to write a book about relationships based on her observations and interviews of other couples.

As with any novel that is written primarily as a delivery vehicle for a message, the story feels like one. Though Lybrand uses creativity in his story telling, it falls short of being a great read. However, by putting his principles in the form of a story he has made his insights much more accessible than by writing an essay for a professional journal. I found that I underlined several passages, writing thoughts in the wide margins provided in the book.

Some of the questions the characters deal with in the book are:
* Should I act married in a relationship when I'm not?
* Is there only one person God intended me to marry?
* Will I be happy in my relationships if I follow the right process?
* Where does sex best fit in a relationship?
* Are there relational differences between genders or not?
* What does "love as a choice" mean?
* What is chemistry and does it come in an aerosol can?
* Can I make the other person act the way I need them to?
* Where does romance fit in to the health of a relationship?
* Do I really value truth and freedom in a relationship?

A study guide is available online at the website [...]. This would make a great book for a small group to read aloud and engage in a discussion. I certainly recommend this book as a tool for addressing principles for effective relating.

I've always been skeptical of books that claim to be novels but are actually nothing more than sermons in (lame) disguise.

Glaen was not one of those books.

The subtitle says it right off: "A novel message on romance, love, and relating." No tricks. The message is the main point of the book. But once know that, you can relax and dive into a compelling story woven through with relationship principles that we learn along with the main character, Annie.

Glaen reminded me a little of Peter Kreeft's books in which Socrates travels to different places in time to have lively discussions with everyone from Marx to modern college professors. But more plot happens in Glaen, so it's a bit more readable.

Enough about the style. What, you might ask, is the book actually about?

The Socrates-like character, the mysterious professor Glaen, helps Annie, a college student, with an assignment about how relationships work. She makes observations, notices lies and countering truths, and discovers the "secrets" of great relationships that are almost too simple to believe (but rarely practiced). Her observations come in the midst of interaction with her parents and friends.

This is not another dating vs. courtship book. I guarrentee that the core principles in Glaen are applicable to you, whatever the state of your relationships - single, dating, or married.

This book came out at a perfect time in my life! Not that I have fully begun to live out all the truths, by any means, but I have been given unmistakable opportunities to practice them.

I can't give away the plot, or tell you everything Annie discovers - you'll have to read the book yourself to find out! But I will share one truth (for now) and how it has challenged my thinking and actions:


"Lie - If you follow the right process, you will be guaranteed a good marriage.

"Countering Truth - No process can guarantee a good relationship, because there are no future guarantees in relationships. Relationships happen in the present."


A while back I adopted the notion that if I just do things carefully and right, God would give me a permanent (and reasonably perfect) marriage some day. To this end, I began reading about and clinging to the concept of courtship instead of dating. It seemed such a great plan, I thought.

But as various conversations in conjunction with this book have been teaching me, even the best plan cannot guarantee the future. Cling to good principles, yes, but then leave the future to God and focus on being honest, putting others first, speaking the truth in love, and relating without strings or requirements.

Here's a quote to that effect that I copied and stuck on my desk:

"When someone accepts the fact that she cannot know the future, then a new kind of power or opportunity comes into her life. She can quit trying to force and manipulate the future. She can quit trying to control her relationships. In fact, she should finally be able to start enjoying the relationship once she gives up on trying to guarantee its future."
~Glaen, page 77~

This principles in this book are tough, but in the end also incredibly freeing. If you're hungry for truth that will help you start relating in a way that works, go with Annie and meet the strange character, Glaen.

Glaen
Fred T. Lybrand
Barnabas Agency, Feb 14 2010, $14.99
ISBN: 9780578046525

College grad student Annie is shocked and confused when her mother calmly informs her that she is divorcing Annie's dad. She had thought her parents were happy together and there for one another. As she looks around her, Annie notices the downside of her younger sister's relationship and those of her BFF Jennah. Relationships make no sense as a person gives up so much in return for being hurt so conceals the truth to abate the hurt.

Annie signs up for a class on Original Non-Fiction 101 taught by Professor Glaen Breuchis. On her first day in class, Annie looks around to find she is the only pupil. Professor Glaen explains that the administration is well aware he is teaching a class with only one student attending. He begins mentoring her to learn what is important in relationships is the truth. By being honest with others, Annie finds out that others will respect and admire you and most will reciprocate with veracity.

This is an interesting approach to encouraging and mentoring people to be honest and sincere in their relationships with others. The cast is solid especially the professor and his sole student while the fascinating story line simplistically focuses on Annie (and readers) learning how best to relate. Using a character study fiction, Fred T. Lybrand provides an engaging self help primer.

Harriet Klausner

Fred Lybrand uses an interesting story to promote his views of building relationships.

Glaen tells the story of Annie, a grad student who is baffled by the relationships she sees around her; her parents are separating, her best friend thinks every boyfriend is "the one" and her little sister is still in the "do you like me yes-or-no circle one" stage.

Annie takes a class with Professor Glaen. She seems to be the only student who signed up for it but she'll learn all about relationships from this quirky man.

As she begins to work on her book that attemps to unpack how relationships work, you go deeper and deeper into Lybrand's teaching.

There are no chapters in this book so it will seem like you are blitzing through the story. And once you come out the other end, you'll want to discuss it with some of your friends.

Don't assume that dating or courting is the answer to building strong loving relationships.

Has God created us to ever succeed at it?

The outcome might surprise you just as the little twist at the end of this story will.

I watched a friend go down this New Years. When the ball dropped, so did she. The emotional hangover didn't go away with Tylenol and coffee concoctions or chocolate either. Heart problems have a way of dwelling deep. Trying to fix them is like curing trench foot when you are knee high in mud, same war, new trench. Fixing problems doesn't heal them. My friend is unbearably enjoyable, and her angelically self-destructive behavior distanced family, friends, brothers, sisters, and then the b word-boyfriends. She's not living in reality. But who wants to? Reality is full of coexisting contradictions and beauty isn't pretty. So Ignore. Numbing the sting of vulnerability seems to take the upper hand to alternatives of facing the truth, until the upper hand slams down and the sky is falling. It hurts and we wonder why our fantasies didn't work out. My friend's blue skies fell down so she ran away, did the whole prodigal daughter thing, except she keeps running away and never gets past it to the coming home part. When she does return to the house, it isn't home. She will not talk. She doesn't speak words, but she does read. "Glaen" was by her bed. I read it the day before. Not too short but just long enough to catch your attention and even a second glance. It deals with provoking questions other relationship books rarely give standing answers to. What happens when all the dating theories don't play out in life? "Glaen" is simple, simply profound. Stimulating enough to free a conversation. She was open to the simplicity of the questions, and let herself do some searching for the answers. "Glaen" digs the perspective out of the trenches and back to eye level. It rivals stereotypical "dating" books and provides maybe not a new, but a simple approach. Relationships are complex and confusing enough by themselves, right? When family reunions resemble Jerry Springer or a faux Hollywood dream scene, its time to wake up. Let's start living in reality. Life is only experienced in the present anyways. Go, enjoy a cup o joe, flip through "Glaen" and walk out the coffee shop without tripping on trenches. Happy New Year, try again, but heed the "new." If it didn't work last year, why this year? [Practice doesn't make perfect. Practice makes permanent.] Try something worth keeping today.

Glaen a Novel Message on Romance, Love, Dating and Relating, by Fred Lybrand is an extremely insightful book about romance. Annie is in college when she learns that her parents are divorcing which of course, causes her to look more deeply into her relationships.

This is a book about learning how to succeed in love as well as marriage, and I think it also teaches the reader to learn more about his/herself. Everyone in Annie's life seems to take on their relationships in a different way, wanting to learn more about relationships, Annie takes a class with Professor Glaen. As the only student in class Annie finds herself learning, and looking deep for answers, Professor Glaen does not tell her the answers, but she has to dig to find them, as Annie digs and learns she becomes more comfortable with herself and with others.

I wasn't sure what to expect when I began to read this book, but I was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was to read and learn. This isn't a step by step book by any means. By using the character Annie, this book turns more into a story and as you read you learn. As you learn, you think and as the process goes on you begin to realize how little things that you do and say, as well as how you act can make a big impact on your relationships.

I think this book is helpful for all types or relationships, not just love, but friendship as well. I recommend this book to young adults as well as married couples, it truly is an enjoyable read and a great learning tool.

*I received a complimentary copy of this book to review from the B&B Media Group, I was not compensated in any other way for my honest opinion.

I had my 19 year old read this and tell me what she thought. She said 'mom, every time I sit to read it, I have a resistence, but once I start reading, I can't put it down.' This, to me sounds like it is a book that changes mental pathways and helps the reader understand life more clearly.

She loved this book, and felt like it added real value to her current efforts of weaving her way through the post-high school net of relationships.

Lybrand uses my favorite form of fact-based writing - the parable. Instead of telling us all the facts he wants us to know, he uses a college girl named Annie to walk us through life from her viewpoint. This non-direct way of presenting information not only gives us the information, but does so in a way that we can understand how to apply it, and we will remember it.

Excellect book! Perfect gift book!

This is an interesting book written in an unusual style. I guess I'd call it fictional non-fiction: a fictional setting is used to communicate "real" truths. As Annie searches for information about relationships, she studies the lies that culture promotes and identifies a countering truth for each. Both serial dating and courting are examined and problems of each are identified. The importance of honesty is emphasized; many pre-marriage relationships lack this quality as each individual tries to woo or manipulate the other. This book would be a useful tool for a high school or college group discussion.

I wasn't sure what to expect from this book. Was it a self-help book? Was it a novel? I discovered that it's a bit of both. Wanting to write a book about real relationships, Annie finds herself the only student in an odd class with an interesting professor. As the course unfolds, and using biblical principles and scripture, Glaen mentors and guides Annie to important ideas, questions and answers to age old questions about dating and marriage. As Annie does a lot of observing of singles and couples, she discovers questions, lies and subsequent truths, all of which can cause honest, thought-provoking reactions to a reader.

While the ending is a bit contrived, I think there is something for everyone in this little story, whether you're single and dating or married. It's a fairly short book, but I think there are layers that will come out each time you read it.

Love is something only experience will truly teach you about. "Glaen" tells the story of Annie, as she plods through college trying to figure out the strange and hard to understand emotion of love, watching as her parents fall apart, her friends fall part before they even seal the deal, but she finds that teacher called Glaen has more to reach her than academics. "Glaen" is a charming and interesting read that many readers will relish.