Customer Reviews

Go Ask Ogre: Letters from a Deathrock Cutter

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Jolene Siana, Go Ask Ogre: Letters of a Deathrock Cutter (Process, 2005)

Adam Parfrey kicks off his new imprint (cofounded with Dilettante Press head Jodi Wille), Process, with this book of, unsurprisingly given its title, letters. What probably will surprise the reader is that Siana's letters to Ogre (aka Kevin Ogilvie, lead vocalist of the now-reformed Skinny Puppy, as well as a number of other projects over the years) are not nearly as focused on the "cutting" aspect of Siana's personality as the subtitle would lead one to believe; in fact, the actual cutting itself is mentioned few enough times that you won't have to take your boots off to count. (Which is good. All those eyelets can get frustrating.)

Instead, what one gets is a uniformly depressing look at late-eighties life in the heartland. Siana rushes to add, in an afterword, that life was not always nearly as depressing as it seemed (and her relationship with her mother, especially, was not as bad as she made it sound back in the day). Keeping that in mind (not that the average reader could), this becomes a piece of anti-nostalgia; it's material that colors the view in the opposite way at the same time the events are occurring. (One wonders if any nostalgia, in fact, informs Siana's present-day commentary.)

Those of us who were around and relatively the same age at the time are likely to get a kick out of this simply because we remember all this stuff. There are some glosses-- especially of the infamous "Cincinnati incident"-- but that can be put down to the fact that participants in the events as they were occurring have a less clear view of them than people would afterwards (e.g., Brent Banbury's interview with the Kevins for Brave New Waves in 1991, where they gave the whole story). This is a trip back to a time when we were all bored, and is likely to spark some interesting memories based solely on glancing references (I'd completely forgotten, for example, a college infatuation with Clan of Xymox until Siana mentions them). The rest... I can't be sure. ***

There were no white knights talking backwards, but there was some amazing heart felt writing in the letters that Jolene Siana wrote to Nivek Ogre over a 3 year period.

Having these letters published we see a young woman come into herself during a very awkward (and equally painful) time in her life. This was the kind of girl that everybody wished was their best friend in high school. She's sweet, has a wicked (often self-deprecating) sense of humor, but above all is so self-aware that without realizing it she saved her self from what could have been an awful fate all by writing to the lead singer of a band.

But this was not any ordinary band. Her comradery was not felt with Duran Duran, or Rick Springfield, but with the (now legendary) industrial outfit Skinny Puppy. It makes sense why she gravitated to something so dark (as many of us who found the band seemed to) during that time.

I read the book from cover to cover fascinated with this girl, wondering how things were going to turn out, how she was going to make it through what she was currently caught up in.

I am really blown away at her candidness in sharing such a difficult part of her life. I plan on buying multiple copies of this book to keep around for people. (both Skinny Puppy fans, and troubled people who need to know that things will be ok)

if it were possible to give this book more than 5 stars, I would. In the years to come I wholeheartedly believe it will be spoken of in the same sentence as Go Ask Alice. It's that compelling, and that significant of a piece of literature

It's not often that I find myself squirming while reading a book and it's a good thing. Then again it's not often that I encounter thoughts I have had myself so clearly expressed and put out there for others to read. Quite often people try to leave the past behind, neglecting the lessons they could have learned and shunning their younger selves as some sort of embarrassment. Rather than do that, Jolene Siana has courageously exposed that younger self in order to let others know that they are not alone, and more importantly, they can get through whatever pain they might currently be going through.

Being the same age as Siana, as well as having been part of the same sub-culture, for lack of a better word, this book was full of nostalgic moments for me. But that was the least important aspect of this work. I finished the book in a day and a half, often laughing at the humor she was able to express despite being in distress, and frequently cringing at her brutal honesty. While Skinny Puppy fans will probably be the first to find out about this book and read it, it speaks to anyone who ever thought they were alone, in pain and misunderstood or worse, ignored. It's an important work, and something that I myself wish had been around when I was in my late teens. Even now that I'm older, the story of her survival and the bravery she has demonstrated in letting others know about it is an inspiration. Someone who's depressed doesn't want to be constantly told that they should just cheer up and that things will get better. They want proof. This book is that proof.

I can honestly say that I've never seen a book quite like this. Go Ask Ogre is comprised of letters (and a few journal entries) that a young woman named Jolene Siana wrote to Ogre, the lead singer of the industrial group Skinny Puppy. In her letters she expressed the feelings typical of anyone caught on the outside of "normal" existence: all of the pain, confusion, and depression resonates as a true experience captured on paper.

Somewhat miraculously, Ogre kept all of the letters that Jolene Siana sent him over the years and eventually returned them to her. Perhaps he has a great gift of foresight; it is obvious that writing to him was one of the only outlets for her feelings that Siana had at the time and that by giving her the chance to view it all again she had a chance at closure and emotional reconciliation. This book is a beautiful biographical artifact. Jolene Siana not only wrote to Ogre to an obsessive degree, but she lavishly illustrated the envelopes, which are presented here with personal photographs as part of the overall message.

The book is subtitled Letters from a Deathrock Cutter, and while there are mentions of "cutting", I didn't really find it to be the focus of this book. Cutting is just one of the many ways the author attempted to deal with her pain: she also turned to drugs and immersed herself in art and music to get by. If you've been an outsider I don't think you can help but recognize these patterns of behavior, even if you never had to live through them yourself.

I'd been anticipating this book since Jolene originally posted about it on the old litany Forums (a Skinny Puppy news site). I finally bought it the other day and it was really amazing to read, I powered through it all in a 2 day period. It was fascinating to see her take her first baby steps towards dealing with the good and the bad stuff life tossed her way. That's one of the toughest lessons to learn speaking from personal experience. I really think that's something everyone goes through, part teenage hormones, part the fact that it's hard work for a parent to raise their kid without taking all of their own neuroses out on them, and it's a struggle that many parents just aren't up to. I'm glad that Jolene found an outlet for her frustrations when she did and how she did, and I really think this book could help a lot of people. The best thing about this book is that it really gives you a glimpse at the process of self-discovery, including all the missteps along the way, which is HUGELY important. It's too easy to be defeatist and really just dwell on all the things that might get you down, but if you can find an inspiration -- a light at the end of the tunnel, to quote the cliche -- and you're willing to fight for yourself...

-Devin.

I wish that i had a book like "Go Ask Ogre" when i was growing up. It would have helped me realize that i was not the only person that felt like everyone else in the world would never understand why you wanted to lock yourself away in my bedroom with a pair of headphones and a journal. Reading this book is like taking an inside look at the lives of many kids that grow up in times of pain and lonelyness. If you read the book "Go Ask Alice" in school this might ring a bell. But this time...there is a happy ending.

I recommend this book to anyone that is a fan of Skinny Puppy,reading,or writeing to pen-pals.

I recommend this book to teachers, parents, and young people who feel that they need some sort of reassurance that -things will be okay.

I recommend this book to the ones that sit alone with music and draw. This book may very well save the life of many people who just need somone to turn to.

***Can you imagine receiving back an ENTIRE BOX full of personal letters, journals, and artwork (that spans the length of your teen years) from a friend? Who WERE you then? What did you REALLY care about?***

Right from the opening letter (written at age 17), I found myself captivated by Jolene. Her frank, emotional,(often precocious) stories and subject matter just sucked me right into her world. Whether she was describing an encounter with her often estranged High School peers, her emotionally abusive mother, or just discussing her quirky day-to-day mishaps, Jolene's letters kept me attentive.

I am a HUGE Skinny Puppy fan, so when I learned about this book I was immediately excited by the concept of someone writing letters to Nivek Ogre, the band's founder and lead singer...but you don't have to be a Skinny Puppy fan at ALL to enjoy this memoir. There is SO MUCH MORE here!

The book is put together so creatively. Almost every page is filled with her fierce, thoughtful artwork or photos that she took, which brilliantly link the journal entries and letters together, creating a full experience for the reader. You really feel bound to her, like you're in on a secret.

The letters are so personal, so powerful in the way that they expose her every fear...yet she has a profound understanding of her own pain. It is a vivid portrayal of a young girl trying to cope with all of her insecurities and several times during the reading I found myself thinking, "This could be MY journal...these could be MY letters."

Just amazing.

I originally picked up this book in Borders because I thought the cover looked cool. I opened it up and saw all the color illustrations and photos and letters and things like pressed flowers and thread and hand-scrawled page borders--wow--very imaginative and cool design throughout.

But beyond the visuals, this book is a very powerful story, uniquely told, and as real as it gets if you want to look inside the mind of a very creative but disturbed young woman going through extremely dark (but also somehow funny) times--written down right as it was happening--not years later after lots of therapy, or more writerly skills had developed, etc. like so many memoir writers. And it is all told through letters she never ever expected to see again. I can't believe Ogre (I am not a big Skinny Puppy fan and you don't need to be to love this book) was able to hold onto these letters for 15 years, and actually returned them to her.

For those of you who discovered at a certain age that Go Ask Alice is NOT a real diary after all(see the snopes website if you don't know what I'm talking about) this book is a refreshing alternative, and goes much deeper on many levels. It actually IS like Go Ask Alice, but with a goth girl protagonist instead of a girl who wants to be a hippie, and in Ogre the girl has a messed up family instead of a "perfect" family. And she's a cutter, not a fake-sounding drug fiend. It is at times messy & ugly and sad, and at other times hilarious, insightful and hopeful. The overall message is powerful--that no matter how bad things get, making art, writing and listening to music--and reaching out to others--can save your life.

I read the whole book in three days. I highly recommend it to people like me, who are older and lived through these times when the author did, but also to teenage girls like my niece, who read the book and loved it. She said she knows girls going through the same things Jolene went through, and it's good to see that she made it through and is a happy person now.

When I heard about "Go Ask Ogre" I knew it was going to be an experience to read, and I can safely say, I will never forget this book.

"Go Ask Ogre" is about a young goth-rock-cutter named Jolene growing up in Toledo, Ohio, who reaches out to her teenage role-model (lead singer of Skinny Puppy) Nivek Ogre through letters in which she shares her sorrows, joys, and rants to him. The book follows through her these letters to Ogre in heartwarming, and teenage angst, the book is made with so many emotions you can feel as you read - which makes it such a great read.

I could really relate with this book, because I'm a teenager reading her teenage letters/journal entries.. it's truly a touching and inspiring memoir. 5/5

Reading this beautifully crafted book made me feel like I had finally found someone who really understood my highschool years. I'm so thankful that Jolene was able to turn these letters and journal entries into a book to be shared with everyone. Jolene and I are about the same age and listened to the same music as teens. I really enjoyed all the goth culture references. It's not a book that takes a stance on what's right,wrong, good or bad about the choices we might make in our lives, so if you're buying it in order to preach to your niece who's cutting herself, don't bother. If you want her to feel less alone, however, I highly recommend it. I would buy a copy for all my friends if I could.