Customer Reviews

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation

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At a time of crisis in marriages and in family relationships, this refreshing and thought provoking book is one of very few that examines and tackles what the Bible has to say about marriage, family and other related subjects. There are ethical discussions on reproductive health and rights, and a discussion on the role of women in society. It may change your views on birth control and reproduction as Dr. Köstenberger addresses "how to think GOD'S way." It honestly discusses Jesus' teachings on homosexuality, the gift of singleness, celibacy, parenting, and divorce and remarriage. The ideas are not only for married men and women, but for all of us! They offer practical advice on the issue of purity, even for those who consider themselves anything but pure!
At a time of crisis in relationships, this Scripture based book shares examples of restoration of God's ideals for marriage and family, reminding men and women to take proper care of their relationships to ensure themselves the happiness they yearn for in marriage. It was helpful as Dr. Köstenberger addressed gender roles, men submitting to Christ, and the husband's authority over women with the husband being the ultimate authority over family. It presents the woman's role, discussing the Proverbs 31 wife, giving everyday advice on how to be a "suitable helper," presenting children, and providing her husband with companionship. He spends a chapter on sex and communication that I found helpful because he spoke from both the perspective of the wife and the husband, and addresses key issues for each.
There is a fascinating chapter devoted to biblical teachings about child rearing, obedience, proper discipline, and introducing children to a personal relationship with "God in Christ." While the child's responsibility toward their own parents changes after they have established a new family, Köstenberger emphasizes that children are mandated to honor parents, and that rebellion against parents is tantamount to disrespect toward God himself, putting it "on the same level as treason and idol worship."
I highly recommend this book. It is practical and down-to-earth, inspiring us to persevere in marriage as a sacred covenant entered into before God. Dr. Köstenberger writes on how to have a great marriage by keeping God at the center of our relationships, and to bear and raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. He addressed spiritual warfare and proper use of spiritual weapons.
His examples were great for supporting a case to defend marriage as well as a case against homosexual unions. I found the insight on divorce to be helpful. The end of the book contains a helpful personal and group study guide.
I would recommend this book to Christian as well as non-Christian couples. "Marriage and family are good gifts from a great God." I have already applied some principles of this in my life, and it DOES make a difference.

This is one of the best books that I have read concerning God's intent for the marriage relationship. It covers the difficult issues of divorce, abortion, homosexuality, and others that many are afraid to address. The authors return the reader to Adam and Eve and Old Testament principles, progressing to Jesus' teachings and New Testament principles on each issue. A special section concerning spiritual warfare is provided depicting not only the "what" but the "how to" of spiritual warfare. I recommend this to anyone who desires a thorough understanding of God's desire for the marriage and family relationship.

I had one of these authors for two classes in seminary and he was always informative and provoking. This book is an exhaustive, for the average person, biblical treatment of the subjects of marriage and family. Anyone who works with families and children should have this book, and will use it time and time again. I have worked it into parenting classes, and while it may be a little on the thick side for a new Christian it lends itself nicely to borrowing ideas and material to give a more shallow curriculum some meat. Get a few copies to give away during counseling and classes.

We just finished our summer small group semester (go here to read about how we do small groups at Revolution: [...]) and it was a great discussion.

Our group read through the book God, Marriage and Family by Andreas Kostenberger.

The book covers a wide range of topics: the role of husbands and wives, where our culture is when it comes to marriage and relationships, divorce, parenting, being single, homosexuality, birth control, abortion and church leadership.

It is by far the most thorough book I've come across in terms of what the Bible has to say about marriage and the family.

The basis of the book starts with this: "Once God is removed as the initiator of the institution of marriage and the family, the door is opened to a plethora of human understandings of these terms and concepts, and, in the spirit of the postmodernism, no one definition has the right to claim greater legitimacy than any others."

What stuck out to me was a fresh reminder of my role as a husband ([...]

I think one of the main reasons couples tend to be unhappy, unfulfilled and marriages end is because no one knows what a husband/man is or what a wife/woman is. The Bible is very clear on these roles and yet, the church seems to stay quiet on this front because of fear of offending someone. When presented clearly and actually applied the way God laid them out, it is actually a beautiful thing.

This fall at Revolution we will be diving head first into this topic in our series [...].

I would say that Kostenberger's book is worth reading, it is thick, but definitely worth checking out. A shorter, easier to read version was just released by John Piper called This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence.

I am reading this book for my senior bible class (I attend a Christian school), Marriage & Family. I love how Kostenberger uses the Scriptures to support what he says, instead of just trying to "Dr.Phil" the reader. It really helps me to understand WHY it's important to have a biblical marriage, and HOW that can be achieved. I will keep this book after senior year to use once I'm married!

God Marriage and Family is a great resource. Myself and my fiancee read this together in preparations for premarital counseling, and this book brought up so much that we would not have even thought about until it could have been a point of struggle in our lives later on.
It is very thorough, giving many different views for the topics that it covers. It is grounded in the teachings of the Bible, comparing the views in both the Old and New Testament while not taking things out of context.
I would recommend this book to any and all couples that are currently married, but would also recommend this for engaged couples, as well as dating couples and for parents of children in high school age where dating starts getting "serious".

This is a helpful book for people wanting a biblical overview of marriage and family. It is vital for Christians to know what God says about the family in this day and age. Instead of the author sharing his view alone, he presents multiple scholarly thoughts and presents clear explanations of biblical passages, not just his own thoughts on the subject. The book is written at a higher educational level but is not difficult reading. I am used to reading theology books and this book follows that typical style and presentation, but simpler. It would be deemed conservative by social standards and is clear on the teachings of the Bible.

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation by Andreas J. Kostenberger and David W. Jones (Crossway, 2010) is, to date, the best book that I have read on God's design for marriage, the family and the various other issues it addresses. The biblical exegesis is solid and faithful to the biblical authors original intent in the covered the texts. The issues tackled in the book are very much alive and relevant to our modern culture. Kostenberger does a wonderful job of bringing God's meaning from the biblical world to bear on the modern day dilemmas we face while not being afraid to admit to certain issues that are not specifically addressed in the Bible. In the instances where a problem is not specifically touched upon in the Bible, the author shows the reader how to apply overarching biblical principles in order to reach a biblical worldview regarding the issue.

Throughout the book, Kostenberger's goal is to determine God's original intention and purpose for marriages and families. What makes the book a must have resource is the broad range of issues addressed. These include looking at marriage and the family in the Old and New Testaments along with God's purpose for making humans male and female. This latter chapter includes a discussion of the biblical role of sex in a couple's marriage which is often a taboo area in evangelical Christianity. Further, the book also addresses many special issues which tend to get overlooked until they arise in a marriage or family and create their own problems due to lack of biblical education. These issues include: to have or not have children including the use of birth control methods and artificial reproductive technologies; parental methods; single parenting; to use or not to use physical discipline; cultivating masculinity and femininity in children; parenting teens; and even spiritual warfare in the family (I was pleasantly surprised by this inclusion). An unexpected, but very relevant, chapter is also included on singleness. The book then turns to handle some of the more controversial issues at stake in our society: homosexuality; divorce and remarriage; and qualifications for church leadership. The revised second addition also includes the addition of a chapter on how the church and the family are to relate to one another specifically addressing the "family-integrated church approach." The appendix includes another chapter on the exception clause from Jesus' teaching in Matthew 19:9 and the Pauline Privilege in 1 Corinthians 7:15. If you are one of us who enjoy reading the footnotes and endnotes, this book will worth it to you just for these 89 pages at the back packed with many other sources to study.

The book is wonderful. I have officially made it the primary source in my pre-marriage and marriage counseling classes. I would recommend it to all marriage counselors and pastors. I also believe that it is an excellent resource for every couple to have on their bedside table even though a few of the areas might be considered semi-technical.

There are many helpful books on marriage available and 'God, marriage and family' covers most of the ground covered by others. There are chapters on marriage, families, children, singleness, homosexuality, divorce, remarriage and the church. But I do think Kostenberger and Jones' attempt stands out from the pack.

What sets it apart? Firstly, it is so Biblically grounded. The Old and New Testaments are carefully picked over for any data they provide on each individual subject. This data is then systematically and clearly presented.

Secondly, it deals well with controversial issues. Where there is room for disagreement among evangelicals, the authors are careful to not be dogmatic, e.g. divorce and remarriage. But where the Bible is clear and there is no room for disagreement, they are dogmatic, e.g. homosexuality is sin.

Thirdly, it speaks about subjects that many marriage books ignore, e.g. Christians use 'the pill' as a contraceptive without considering that it may have an abortive effect.

The only possible problem with the book is that it is long and, possibly, over the heads of some readers. Thus, it may have too much of a textbook feel (although relegating the copious footnotes into endnotes may reduce this sense somewhat).

But if you're willing to dig your teeth into understanding what the Bible says about marriage, you will certainly find food for thought (and practice!) in this work.

Mark Driscoll recommended this book some time ago in a sermon series that he did at Mars Hill Church in Seattle. I can understand why. It seems as if our convictions about marriage and family as believers are attacked every day--whether through television, or what we experience at work or school, or by what we overhear at the grocery store. We have to be prepared to defend them. We need to know what we believe and why or else it will be easy for false teachers who twist the truth and the world we live in to convince us otherwise.

That is where this book comes in. From the first page of this book, it is very clear that it is different than other Christian books about marriage and family. The premise, as the authors put it is to "seek to determine...what the bible teaches on the various components of human relationships in an integrative manner: the nature of, and special issues related to, marriage and the family, childrearing, singleness, as well as homosexuality and divorce and remarriage." p. 19 All of these issues are important to every Christian. We need to have a solid understanding about what the Bible says about these issues--and what it doesn't say.

There are several issues that I was particularly interested in. The first was infertility and contraception. I have been concerned because as Dr. Paul Mc Hugh said in "The Mind has Mountains" that just because we can do something (medically) doesn't mean we should. That statement has come to my mind many times over the past few years as I've considered whether or not something is ethically right for a Christian to consider pursuing. I cannot do the book's discussion of either of these issues justice in a few sentences, so if these are two issues that you have pondered I would encourage you to read this book.

The next set of issues that I've seen become issues in the church today are singleness, homosexuality, divorce, and complimentary view of marriage (as opposed to submission). This summer I had to explain to my girls that my parents are divorced and what that means. It came up again when we read Matthew and we read that Joseph had it in his mind to divorce Mary quietly! Divorce is the one area that I had wished the others had talked about more thoroughly, specifically in light of abuse. It is mentioned, but I found myself still left with some questions after I read what the authors had written. I did agree with what they said, but I had hoped for a more in-depth discussion of what abuse is. In the book, only physical abuse was considered abuse worthy of marital separation. Perhaps, the information I desire would be more of a chapter that examines the beliefs of Christian feminists.

The preface to the second edition explains the differences between the first and second editions. Specifically, there's a new chapter on marriage, family and the church (family worship), discussions of current debates about homosexuality, singleness, divorce, and remarriage, and more discussion about teens. Often I am faced with the question when I'm buying a book whether I should buy the new updated edition or a less expensive used copy of a book. In the case of this book, I would definitely recommend the updated edition.

Truly our marriages and families are under attack. If you haven't examined before what the Bible says about any of the issues I've mentioned above, I'd encourage you to read this book. It is a great resource. One quick warning though--it is more of a reference book and isn't a light hearted easy read. But, I think it's a good book for any family to have on their bookshelf so that they can answer questions that come up--whether from friends or from your own children.

Please note that I received a complimentary copy of this book from Crossway Books for review.