In the world of "happily ever after" the people we love live forever, our relationships are never challenged, and we never have to look too closely at our own faults. Andrea Maresco lived just such a life with a husband, a lovely home, and four active children. Then her youngest son, Benjamin, became ill and Andrea's life changed. What began in his eighteenth month as mild snoring progressed over the course of the next year into a full-blown apnea triggered with the onset of sleep. Ben's frantic mother took him from one doctor to the next with no diagnosis and no results. X-rays showed no blockage and drugs brought no relief. Month after month, night after night, mother and child survived in their sleepless prison. At the first hint of silence, she woke. AT the first hint The book is a page by page expose of what some couples go through after the death of a of oxygen deprivation, he woke. But one fateful night she didn't wake up-and neither did Benjamin.
God Will Teach Me to Fly is a profound and personal look into the world of grief and loss written through the eyes and heart of a bereaved mother. Her ten-year journey encompasses now only the death of her 2 1/2 year old son, but also the breakup of her marriage, as well as her struggle to recover lost memories of childhood sexual abuse that surfaced as a result of the trauma associated with her child's death. This compelling and gripping real-life drama brings the reader directly into the moment with an honesty and intensity that is both riveting and consuming.
God Will Teach Me to Fly is a book meant for women in crisis, their families, pastors, counselors, and friends.
God Will teach Me to Fly provides an inside look into grieving the death of a children marital breakdown and divorce, transference in counseling relationships, recovery and restoration from sexual abuse, spiritual and emotional healing. And in the end,
God Will Teach Me to Fly is a book of hope, recovery, and renewal.
Fasten your seat belts. Grab on to a good friend and all of your inner resources, for this book is not an easy read. Almost like a soap opera with every page a cliffhanger, this book is one of the most overwhelming, yet persuasively caring books I have ever read. Most of all, even in its occasional brutal honesty, it is one of the most helpful pastoral looks at spirituality, especially for the bereaved, that I have read.
We see the pain and struggle of the father (seldom written about), and see demonstrated most vividly the truth that death does not fix broken relationship, but scatters the pieces further and further from any recognizable expression of relationship. The father was abusive, controlling, subject to a variety of addictive behaviors, and he had those tendencies before Benjamin's death. As happens in grief, we fall back on whatever is "normal" for us, and that becomes our set of journey markers. Edward, the husband/father, had a very poor set of markers to rely on for his journey, and the worst rose to the top in its destructive fury that left everyone scattered and scarred.
We are also experiencing a powerful witness of what the breakup of a family feels like. While witnessed and recorded by the mother, all of the players are included. No matter how many couples and families I have worked with through separation and divorce, no one expressed in writing the horror and pain as well as has been done in this book. If you are working with couples or individuals in this predicament, this book is helpful.
There were other side benefits. For example, we realized that many attorneys and counselors specializing in divorce are not fully competent, and do not check in on such issues as counter transference or transference. It is also apparent that too many professionals do not understand domestic violence.
Most of all this is a book about spirituality. While she speaks from the Christian perspective, her honesty and her definitions enable all of us to learn from her experience, fitting her pathways into our own, and reclaiming our own spiritual vitality. This is the book at its best. It is the reminder that spirituality is never easily worked. To suggest that someone is "saved," and now has it all together, is faulty in both definition and theology. Spirituality is always about relationship, however personalized, and journey or growth. A spirituality without the latter is dead, just another empty box.
The book also gives us a good reminder, at least in the Judeo-Christian tradition, that God is realized and experienced best within the wilderness experiences. At the times when God seems the most silent and most absent, He is the God of love and presence. When we are most blinded, God sees.
One strong caution with this book. While it is about bereaved parents and broken relationships, it is, as stated earlier, brutally honest. It is not a book I would give to a newly bereaved or particularly fragile griever. It may be more than some can handle. It is mandatory reading for counselors, lawyers, clergy, group facilitators and others who work with bereaved parents and troubled families. The book is also a wonderful invitation for those who seek meaningful spirituality (even if not particularly comfortable in a Christian framework). -- Bereavement Magazine, January 1997
In the world of "happily ever after" the people we love live forever, our relationships are never challenged, and we never have to look too closely at our own faults. Andrea Maresco lived just such a life with a husband, a lovely home, and four active children. Then her youngest son, Benjamin, became ill and Andrea's life changed. What began in his eighteenth month as mild snoring progressed over the course of the next year into a full-blown apnea triggered with the onset of sleep. Ben's frantic mother took him from one doctor to the next with no diagnosis and no results. X-rays showed no blockage and drugs brought no relief. Month after month, night after night, mother and child survived in their sleepless prison. At the first hint of silence, she woke. At the first hint of oxygen deprivation, he woke. But one fateful night she didn't wake up -- and neither did Benjamin. God Will Teach Me To Fly is a profound and personal look into the world of grief and loss written through the eyes and heart of a bereaved mother. Her ten year journey encompasses not only the death of her 2 1/2 year old son, but also the breakup of her marriage, as well as her struggle to recover lost memories of childhood sexual abuse that surfaced as a result of the trauma associated with her child's death. This compelling and gripping real-life drama brings the reader directly into the moment with an honesty and intensity that is both riveting and consuming. God Will Teach Me To Fly is a book meant for women in crisis, their families, pastors, counselors, and friends. God Will Teach Me To Fly provides an inside look into grieving the death of a child, marital breakdown and divorce, transference in counseling relationships, recovery and restoration from sexual abuse, spiritual and emotional healing. And in the end, God Will Teach Me To Fly is a book of hope, recovery, and renewal. -- Midwest Book Review
