Customer Reviews

God Is a Woman: Dating Disasters

5 star:		(32)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

(Addendum: since writing this review, this book has received a raving review from the Mystery Forum, the best known pick up artists out there. The review came from the head of the forum himself.) This book is causing quite a stir on Amazon as readers give it Kudos everywhere. People are recommending it in reviews of all sorts of other books; like humor books, chick lit books, and pick up guides for guys. A few people who love the other books attack the recommendations as spam. Well, I'm here to set the record straight. After reading this book, I know it's not spam; it's people recommending a fantastic book. "God is a Woman: Dating Disasters" is better than all the books were people have mentioned it. The book is very, very, cleverly setup. Chick lit sucks; most of the books don't offer any real advice and just reinforce the women's behavior that hasn't been working in the first place. Pick up guides for guys are even worse. All the authors do is brag in stories about how great they are at picking up women. Read the reviews that praise those books; they all start the same "So-and-so is my god! He's so awesome!" There's no real advice in the books. ("Mystery Method" is an exception but I don't find much of it to be useful for the women I want to meet.) The guys that need the advice walk away thinking "I could never do that. I could never say that to a woman." So reading the book was pointless.

There are some reviews here that knock this book for not having stories about long-term relationships, saying that's because the author has no substance. Those readers completely missed the point of this book, let alone the title. It's not about successful relationships; it's about disasters, failures, and blunders. It's setup where Ian uses his screwups to let us know we can all be successful. You don't feel that he is some god with inexplicable abilities to meet women; you feel that he is just like you, someone who went thru the same errors in dating but figured it all out, as he tells you exactly what he figured out. He has long-term relationships "but they don't belong in this book since they were successful." He has far more substance than most guys, turning down advances from many women "because I hate that feeling of just wanting them immediately gone when it's over and would rather be with someone I want to stay and wrap my arms around." He alludes to having successful long-term relationships.

Ian's take on flirting is a great example of dozens and dozens in this book. "Flirting is key to successful dating and picking up women...I used to suck at flirting." He goes on to describe how he got good and tells guys how they can practice flirting and get good at it. He says that all of his long, successful relationships started with conversations that contained mostly flirting thru the initial meeting and the entire first date. Talking about things when you meet or on a first date like what you do or how many siblings you have, makes things dull fast and should be "saved for phone calls between dates or future dates." So, we know Ian's had long, good relationships (all his exes and he are still good friends, how many of us can say that?) and we have a great tip about how flirting played a huge role in getting those going and a blueprint for flirting ourselves.

The whole book is like that, funny and full of insightful, fresh advice. Reading this book to read about long-term, successful relationships is like going to an Italian restaurant and then being upset because you can't order Chinese food. Books about long-term relationships don't tell you how to get in them, how to date, or how to meet people. Again, they are pointless. Ian tells you how he's used his advice to get a date, get laid, or date someone, but he doesn't get into great detail about those successful stories because that's not the point of the book! DAH! He says that in the opening, which you can read here on Amazon by clicking "More Editorial Reviews." You walk away from this book feeling like "Hey, I can do this! He's been in far worse, more embarrassing situations than me and he makes it work now. So can I!"

First, I found the book pretty dull and not funny. (Sorry Ian.)

Secondly, this is not a book about dating disasters--it's a book about pick-up/hook-up disasters. It's a gentler, more palatable version of the pick-up artist genre, and discusses the author's ten-plus year history of casual sex and one night stands.

I actually found the book somewhat disconcerting because the author uses such a reasonable, "nice guy" tone to discuss some pretty shallow, callous behavior.

This book was a waste...I couldn't finish it.

Ian Coburn should stick to comedy. Though this book has a few funny quips and a couple of good tips, it is mostly just war stories from his dating life. 80% of the stories are pretty dull. I found his perspective pretty juvenile. Are we really looking to a guy who wooes woman back to his futon as an authority on dating??? God helps us (whether god is a she, he, or otherwise).

Ian Coburn is also very full of himself, which I found painful. He constantly pats himself on the back for his "enlightened" approach to women. "When I'm out...I'm trying to meet the one woman I'm attracted to the most. It demonstrates that I'm not interested in a women's T&A." Puh-lease. Someone get this guy a medal. Or..."Cedric the Entertainer, Richard Jeni, and Robert Schimmel...were very cool and liked my act a lot." Don't hurt your arm patting your back, buddy.

Whether you are looking for some great stories or a book with some dating tips, your time is better spent elsewhere.

Dragged on and halfway through I couldn't finish it. This guy is the type of guy who thinks he is funnier than he actually is. Many other books out there that are similar and more entertaining. I think a lot of these 5-star reviews are contrived.

This book gives the feeling that you're listening to a cool older brother tell stories and give advice about meeting people, dating, and relationships. It is not about deceptive tactics, exploitation, or pretending to be someone you're not. It's more about being funny, outgoing, taking the risk of making a move and getting rejected, not being needy or a pushover, and a lot of other solid advice.

Most importantly, you'll have fun reading it while you learn, because a lot of these stories are hilarious.

That might be a better title for this book. Although I don't think it could have a better cover. The cover alone tells you it gets women and it's a smart book. Pick up books for guys almost always have some woman in a bikini on the front or just a close up on her backside, which is "covered" by a thong. The books are immediately insulting to women. Dating advice books for women do the same thing. They have something on the cover that turns off guys, like usually a dork picking his nose or something. The cover of this book is intriguing. It's kind of mysterious and I want to know. A prime example of the author illustrating his "be myterious, make her want to know more" ideology. I did want to know more. I laugh at the fridge because I know it's a guys, what with the gross towel and "grocery list," featuring "condoms" as the main course. Then of course there's the title. God is a woman? Tell me more! It's not offensive to women, it's intriguing.

The book opens with a brief explanation and then introduces the very funny concept that God is a woman and how the author knows it for sure. He pokes fun at both men and women and we are hooked. Very clever. Because in the very first two stories he lays on some of the most graphic descriptions in the book. But I don't mind because he's already got me laughing and feeling good. The descriptions just make things funnier and turn the heat up (and they're nothing like a steamy romance novel). The whole thing reminds me of getting picked up by a guy who's really good at it. It always goes like this:

The guy meets you, he flirts right away, lays on a few compliments, gets you laughing, you drink a little more, you laugh some more, the compliments and flirtation becomes more and more graphic. You know you should get away but you don't want to. You feel good and you're hooked. You wonder "How good can he really make me feel? Is he a good kisser? I like his mouth." By the time you're naked on his couch you think "How did I end up here? How did this whole thing get started?"

You're not offended as a woman by the graphic descriptions that pop up in this book because they pop up just like that; gradually, not abruptly like men's magazines. This author shows he knows what he'd doing, not just by telling us his experiences and advice but by laying the book out in the same format of his approach. It's INGENIOUS! And scary. He knows what we want and more importantly, when we want it. All women want sex. It's the TIMING of suggesting it and making moves that screws up most guys. It's the not perparing or setting the tone.

This author lives in Chicago, where he is getting a good buzz over the last few weeks, as he has been on the news a few times. I hope I don't run into him in a bar out here while I'm working on my consulting project... I could find myself on his sofa pretty easily, I think.

This book forces us to take a very honest look at ourselves and makes us laugh the entire journey.

Who said you can not judge a book by its cover? When I first saw the title, I asked myself why Ian Coburn was writing a book about my fiancée. The book is great but I do have a complaint that the cover ought to have a place to insert the photo of a man's significant other just under the title. That way, "God" could be everyone's significant other!

Ian Coburn is a promising comedian who foreshadows in the first chapters his skills as an accomplished author. He provides imagery of what not to do when the near perfect woman falls into your lap. For those readers who are "naturals", it answers the ill fated question of "I'll bet you do this all the time?" Or "You probably have a girl in every city." Ian provides a roadmap to deflect the negativity by exaggerating the woman's preexisting belief to the point of nonsense. Most women want to be right. Ian suggests that men let them be right. Women sometimes search to justify and explain their behavior with phrases like "I don't usually do things like this." By exaggerating the response to the question, it may create a bad boy imagine in an otherwise nice guy. David D. and Neil S. believe that by capitalizing on the good traits of bad boys (and leaving the abusive traits behind) attraction is magnified. Ian suggests that humor may be a kinder more effective way to magnify attraction.

The book reminds the reader of what they should have learned in the scouts. Be prepared. Necessary tools for every man to have at his disposal include an opening line that promotes common interests. Another is good transportation. A third is good protection. The book advocates being a confident risk taker. Only those who are willing to fail have a chance for success. Being an interesting communicator maximizes attraction. Props may be useful but be wary of mysterious packages in elevators... God is A Woman advocates avoiding women who follow the crowd as they are immature and unlikely to make independent decisions. Not only is a man not likely to be successful with such an individual, but the author actually demonstrates how group mentality can be damaging to the reputation of the pursuer. For legal eagles, a distinction is correctly made between healthy pursuit and stalking. There are too many "fish in the sea" for a man to become obsessed with any one woman.

Coburn introduces the reader to refreshing vocabulary such as "trixie." Through humorous stories sharing his own personal failures, the author educates the inexperienced man as to how to navigate the minefields inherent to the pursuit of women. This is not just another "how to pick up women" book. It is a refreshing, humorous attempt to advocate improved interpersonal skills and better interaction among the sexes. While the book also attempts to provide female readers with some insight on men; admittedly, most men are so one dimensional in their pursuit of women that no manual is necessary.
Discussion of this book is at [...]

This book offers so much insight into the minds of both men and women, it could qualify as a psychology textbook. The humor is mostly droll, and used to help the reader see his own foibles and learn from them. It is extremely entertaining and to the very last offers useful and meaningful information.

The last chapter caps off with a powerful self evaluation, something a recent reviewer (who complained about God being annoyed) probably never read. The book's take on morality (enjoy life without hurting people) I think is spot on.

This book would be profoundly useful for those who are having trouble getting any dates at all, and those that continually have painful outcomes. Men or women. And for those who are dating but want to make things better, read it and enjoy. Make sure you read to the last chapter...

Anyone who doesn't understand this book--or think it's funny--doesn't have a clue about human nature. We all learn and grow and evolve socially and sexually. This book is far more than a how-to-get-laid manual. Although, that works, too! It's a commentary on men and women, what we fear, what we know, what we think we know, the ways in which we revere each other, and the mirrors we can hold up to one another on the journeys through these joyful conundrums called relationships.
I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Ian for one of our weekly teleconferences at Writers of the Round Table Inc. He was funny, candid, and sincere. I wish him all the best with his career

Ian offered to send me a courtesy copy of this book in exchange for a copy of my own book, Singular Existence. To tell you the truth, I was a little dubious at first - I honestly expected to hate this book, especially after reading some of the reviews here. I'm not a huge fan of "dating advice" books in general, particularly when they're premised on the idea of sharp, gender-based distinctions between the sexes. And it would be tempting to dismiss "God is a Woman" as just another one of these kinds of books, albeit one with the humorous twist of being informed by one young man's exploits with willing (and not-so-willing) women on the comedy circuit.

But if you look at it through that perspective, you'll miss out on the *real* value of this book - which is Ian's journey toward self awareness. Our culture has a tendency to dismiss men as duplicitous ninnies who are unable to control their libidos and are, therefore, not responsible for their actions. Ian's anecdotes - and the lessons he drew from them over the years - show how he overcame these low expectations (no easy feat, given some of the influences and weirdness he encountered on the road) and came into his own as a mature, responsible human being. What's notable is that he came to this conclusion on his own, based on his own experiences - not because he found the "ideal" woman who "taught him what love is." This, to me, is proof that men are intelligent, responsible human beings who are perfectly capable of understanding and controlling their own behavior and that they don't need some woman "mothering" or "guiding them" to get there.

I also love - LOVE - that he's still single. Too many of these books feel the need for a "happily ever after" ending that is supposed to illustrate that "once you have balance and self awareness you'll meet The One." Instead, Ian is living a content, fulfilled, and balanced SINGULAR life.

The advice he offers is from the heart, and, while I don't necessarily agree with *everything* he says, his opinions and suggestions are thoughtful and respectful - a breath of fresh air in a culture where dating has become a bloodsport and the opposite sex is too often eyed as an enemy to be conquered.