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Going All The Way [Kindle Edition]

Geoff Edwards , Michael Edwards
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $0.99

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Book Description

I took my first cruise from Los Angeles, through the Panama Canal, and around the Caribbean. The cruise ship was a small Greek ship called the Jason, but I must tell you, cruising then was entirely different than today. The cruise staff did most of the entertaining, most of the bands on ships had an accordion player, and customer service was a bit lax.
My cabin had a bunk on each wall with safety straps to keep you in bed in case of rough weather. The portholes had wooden covers that could be screwed on to keep that rough water out of the cabin. When I complained about the air conditioning in my cabin not working, the ship sent an engineer to check it out. A sturdy Greek woman with a hint of moustache appeared in full uniform. She had no command of English, and Greek was, well, Greek to me. Fortunately, we didn’t need much communication to get the job done. I held my hand to the vent and said, “Is warm!” She put her hand to the vent and said, “Is cold!” And that was that. As Aristotle once said, “It is the nature of desire not to be satisfied, and most men live only for the gratification of it.” Whatever.
As the Jason exited the canal into the Caribbean, we were pounded by some very rough seas, and she bounced around enough so that those straps and porthole covers came into play. I sat in the center of the ship on the Promenade deck, and, as advised, kept my eyes on the horizon. I wasn’t sick, but neither was I feeling well, and worse, I was hungry. They told us to eat dry chicken sandwiches which for some reason might stay in place after swallowed. On the Jason, everything was ordered from a desk just inside and off the main deck. I went up to the crewman on desk duty and asked for a dry chicken sandwich. He looked at me, said, “Please wait a moment.” He then opened a drawer, and from a height of about three feet, put most, if not all, of his stomach in the drawer. I passed on the sandwich.
That experience aside, a big attraction of cruising is the food. And there is lots, and lots of good food. With all that largess waiting, a good many passengers are wary of eating too much and gaining weight. I sat with one woman who looked at the menu and asked me what “grouper” was. I told her it was a whitefish that sometimes got as big as three hundred pounds. “Oh,” she said, “I’m really not that hungry.” Another tablemate ate a huge plate of pasta. After she finished, she was upset with the waiter. “I told him,” she said, “to give me a small portion.” “Well”, I countered, “there was a small portion in there.”
Today’s cruise guest has access to food 24 hours a day. Room service is always prompt, and the air conditioner will be adjusted to your liking. Nevertheless, no matter how luxurious the ships, most people who cruise share one single desire. One day, they want to cruise around the world!
I have been twice blessed in that regard, and what you are about to read is a diary of both of those blessings. Some of what I wrote will be a bit dated. For instance, all cruise ships now have access to the Internet operating 24 hours a day. Today’s passengers don’t have to seek out an Internet café at every port, and on a world cruise there are a lot of ports. But, you know, I think they’re missing something; that chance to interact with the locals and other travelers.
Hop aboard; fair skies and some laughs ahead. But be careful!

Product Details

  • File Size: 251 KB
  • Print Length: 178 pages
  • Publisher: Edwards Productions (July 30, 2010)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B003XYE8YO
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #491,837 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars perfect summer read August 4, 2010
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These are the stories of the adventures Mr Edwards and his wife hadve had while traveling the world on a cruise ship. Edwards paints the pictures and tell the stories beautifully. For good or ill, I feel like I know the people he's encountering on the cruise ship. Its hard for an author to bring in the reader when the people he's writing about are foreign to the reader but Mr. Edwards does it beautifully. His humor is derived from the interactions with the people on board and their "unique" personalities along with the authors own funny lines that you rarely see coming.

Plus, having never traveled to the exotic locations the author visits it's a fine way to vicariously enjoy the exoticness of a world cruise from the comfort of wherever your summer takes you. Entertaining and funny, too bad it wasn't released in June because this is the perfect light, summer read.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Laughter is Evidence of Enjoyment! June 11, 2012
The best kind of humor is the kind that gets you laughing because of the deep truth of a thing. In this book the author is gracefully adept at poking provocative humor at the never ending idiosyncrasies of travel. And cruise travel perhaps delivers one of the finest palettes from which to paint such humor. What I loved most is that I was often laughing before I fully got why what I was reading was so funny. Then I'd stop, read it again and realize there was an even deeper humor that I'd missed on the first pass and the laughs would double and triple in force and satisfaction.

You won't regret traveling with Geoff Edwards around the globe and back and around the globe again as he scans the seven seas and ports of call for all the ways people can be so very strange and kind and so very human in ways that make us smile, wonder, guffaw, cringe and sympathize. And what he discovers and then brings to our attention in simple, concise and effortless story telling and humor will have you grinning from horizon to horizon.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Cruise journal February 15, 2012
Verified Purchase
Oh my, how I'd like to sail away on a round-the-world cruise. Now, because of Geoff Edwards, I feel that I have. Written in the form of a daily journal, his book lets me experience the good as well as the bad. I get to meet the people he eats dinner with, listen as he and his wife discuss the merits of buying local goods, see the sites of foreign lands, even feel the roll of the ship. This is a delightful book, one that should be read by people contemplating a long cruise and, even more, by those who know they'll never be able to take one.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Made me feel I was on the cruise with them December 19, 2013
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Truly enjoyed the day-by-day experience. My wife and I enjoy cruising and may someday join a grand cruise like this one.
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5.0 out of 5 stars So much fun! June 27, 2012
This book is entertaining, fun and educational at the same time. I love his tongue in cheek style and find myself laughing out loud. I look forward to picking it up and at times have a hard time putting it down. Geoff's descriptions are priceless and fit so beautifully the folks we have met on cruises . Just enjoy! I did!
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