Going the Distance: Secrets to Lifelong Love [Hardcover]

Ph.D. Lonnie Garfield Barbach (Author), Ph.D. David L. Geisinger (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 1991

Finding a satisfying relationship seems to be a nearly impossible feat for many people. But maintaining that partnership as a lasting and loving union can be even more challenging. Going the Distance offers an innovative and inspiring approach to monogamy, predicted on the idea that long-term, loving partnerships are the most fulfilling, exciting, and growth-promoting relationships in our lives.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Barbach ( For Yourself , LJ 3/1/75) and Geisinger ( Kicking It , LJ 5/1/79, o.p.) have written a very perceptive and practical book on helping relationships to endure. Their emphasis on monogamy distinguishes this from other titles, and since society seems to be embracing sexual conservatism, it should be important reading for the 1990s. Three sections discuss healing after failed relationships, entering and nurturing relationships through the ritual of courtship, and commitment on a lifetime basis. Numerous examples of contemporary couples help illustrate specific points, but the many names tend to be distracting. However, the authors counteract this by maintaining an authoritative and insightful tone throughout. Recommended.
- Elizabeth DeMarco, Onondaga Cty. P.L., Syracuse, N.Y.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Kirkus Reviews

Psychotherapists Barbach (For Each Other, 1982, etc.) and Geisinger team up here to write in praise of monogamy--ever-more appealing as the sexual revolution turns nasty. The authors' premises are that we all bring the scars of old psychic wounds to any new relationship, that a good relationship is a healing one, and that even people with prior negative experiences can learn the skills necessary for a healthy bond. According to Barbach and Geisinger, what counts is chemistry, companionship, trust, respect, acceptance, and shared values. No surprises there--in fact, whether any secrets to a successful relationship are revealed in this book is debatable. However, although the authors plow familiar ground in their discussions of making relationships work and of negotiating and conflict resolution, their material is well organized, clear, and occasionally humorous, and the case histories they include illustrate their points effectively. The text seems to be aimed at the fairly sophisticated adult, but it's appended by a simplistic 50-question ``Compatibility Index,'' ostensibly designed to help couples assess their prospects for an enduring relationship. Slick repackaging of standard advice. -- Copyright ©1991, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 295 pages
• Publisher: Doubleday; 1st edition (September 1, 1991)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0385261128
• ISBN-13: 978-0385261128
• Product Dimensions: 10 x 7 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,710,677 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Relationships: A to Z, February 17, 2001

By 

Daniel R. Greenfield "Dan" (Milwaukee, Wisconsin, United States) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Going the Distance: Finding and Keeping Lifelong Love (Plume) (Paperback)

There are probably over a thousand self-help books in print which were written to offer relationship advice and help. This book is among the best you will find in that category. Once you start reading this book, you will immediately realize that EVERYONE, married or not, is in the same boat: either looking to begin a relationship, healing from the wounds of a past relationship, or trying to maintain a relationship. Hence, almost everyone can benefit from this book. Whereas most books start with the assumption that you are are already in a committed relationship, this book starts from the very beginning: Courtship. The authors take what they call a preventative approach: they base it on their assumption that there are certain markers that define a sound and healthy relationship. They tell you what to look for along the way, beginning with that first email, or phonecall or date. As a middle aged male, I can heartily recommend this book for men as well as for women. One little example: in this book, they discuss the role of intuition. Too often we dismiss the little voices inside that tell us something is wrong in the relationship. These authors are very adamant that one must listen to this voice of the intuition, and trust it! This is also a book about healing, and beginning again. Read this book once a year for at least three years. It can save you from getting involved with the wrong person, or from losing your marriage to divorce.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars You must read this book, May 15, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Going the Distance: Finding and Keeping Lifelong Love (Plume) (Paperback)

Whether you are in a new relationship, determining if you should seriously commit to one or married, the information in this book will help you. This book provides invaluable information about how to communicate with your partner, how to resolve differences and how to evaluate your relationship. The chapter regarding criteria for commitment was both eye opening and superb. I wish that I had read this book years ago. I found this book to be an easy read, but still packed with great amounts of useful information. If you don't read this book, you're missing out!

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars If you're in a relationship or want onethis book is a must!, October 17, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: Going the Distance: Finding and Keeping Lifelong Love (Plume) (Paperback)

Smart, direct, practical advice that has changed the way I look not only at relationships but the way I look at myself. They tell you how to look for the right someone or reassess your present relationship. They then give practical advice on how to take a relationship all the way to "death do us part." The best self help book I've ever read. BUY IT!