Customer Reviews

Going Home: Finding Peace When Pets Die

5 star:		(28)
4 star:		(19)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

I have read most if not all of Jon Katz's books and have reviewed at least one in both the print and electronic media. I have found them to be insightful, well-written, and generally displaying a thoughtful understanding of animals, especially dogs, that will cause the reader to smile, sometimes laugh out loud; shed a tear or two; and nod their head in understanding and agreement with many of the opinions and theories offered by Katz.
This book is a bit different in that it deals with a subject many fear facing, the death of a cherished animal. Katz encourages the reader to accept, even welcome, grief that naturally occurs when a loved companion pet dies and to recognize it as a healthy sign...within limits. He argues that we should recognize grief as a normal, even healthy, result of our deep feelings for our pets and we should not be ashamed of our feelings. However, he cautions that we should learn to accept the death of an animal as a natural occurance and not try to second-guess how we treated our pet, especially if we had to make the sometimes gut-wrenching decision to euthanize it due to illness, injury, etc. He suggests that mourning is natural and that we should strive to remain connected internally by finding a place for them in our current lives. This can be as simple as remembering them to sharing memories of them with others to more formal activities such as memorials, etc.
I have recently lost a companion dog and have found myself second guessing my decision to have him euthanized a number of times. This book has helped me think through my relationship with him and to almost stop the second guessing, almost but not quite. A least the book has helped me view my relationship with him in a different light and to relearn the fact that death to an animal is a natural part of life and not something they dwell on but accept in the natural order of things. I do not agree with Katz when he asserts that dogs cannot tell us when it is time for them to go. I have had many dogs and truly believe that most if not all have told me in their own way that it was time.
However, that said I heartily recommend this book for anyone that has recently lost a pet or is close to experiencing such a heart breaking event or, for that matter, anyone that simply wants to know more about the subject of pet loss and grieving. This book may well be one of those that become more helpful after more than one reading. I plan to reread it and suspect I will discover more helpful ideas, suggestions, and common sense that I missed the first time. I still miss them all but maybe, just maybe, I did the correct thing in the case of those that I had to have euthanized.

If there is one thing that Jon Katz makes perfectly clear in his latest volume on our relationship with animals, GOING HOME: FINDING PEACE WHEN PETS DIE, is that our pets are not "furry children," they are not people. We can love them as they fill important gaps in our lives but we should not feel guilt, a phenomenon unknown to animals, when we have to make responsible decisions about the ends of their lives. We should consult with our vet but the decision is ultimately ours. Based on the information we have, we should move forward, reminding ourselves that we have done our best. That is good advice.

There is a wealth of other good advice in this book that should become a reference manual for people dealing with losing a pet and the accompanying grief that follows. Since only about 50% of the population has pets, we should be careful about whom we seek out for comfort, perhaps another animal lover or a sensitive friend so that we don't hear from well-meaning people that he was just a dog or a cat after all. Or we can find help via the internet, where we can remain anonymous, from others who have suffered similar losses.

We should anticipate what will happen at the end of our pet's life so we should be prepared, as best we can, when the end comes and grief overcomes us. Everyone grieves in his own time. As Emily Dickinson reminds us, sorrow has its own season. Since animals cannot speak, we have an obligation to speak for them and do the responsible thing for them. We should be honest with our children when their pet dies as well. Mr. Katz suggests that children are much better able to deal with the death of a pet than many of us believe.

One of the most beautiful things about this book is Mr. Katz' incredible candor, something that should not surprise anyone who has read his previous books. He says of his beloved border collie Orson--whom he has written about before-- that he had to have put down after the dog had bitten three individuals: "He was the dog who changed my life." Powerful words. Mr. Katz goes on to say that he felt closer to "this crazy dog" than to his own father, that the dog brought him to a farm and to a new romance in his life. Another dog Izzy was a prince of an animal when it came to visiting people in hospice and taught Katz a great deal about dying. Another dog Stanley always made him laugh. Of course there was no dog like another border collie Rose. Finally, "Animals have taught me how to love purely. And patiently. They have helped fill some of the lonely gaps of life. They have helped me to be a better human being. That, I think, is their legacy and glorious purpose."

Mr. Katz' latest offering should be a book you will come back to again and again for both advice and comfort when your beloved animal "goes home."

Having lost a dog around the same period as I received an advanced reader copy of this book, I was unsure of what to do. My black lab Ozzie had been a part of my life from a young age, and in a sense we grew up together. I'm 24 and Ozzie came into my family when I was 12, but I quickly took to him and he became like a furry brother for me. His death left a void in my life and I immediately picked up this book.

Going Home was both poignant and helpful for me in accepting my dog's death. It tells of celebrating a dog's life and how blessed I am to have been able to experience his life and his gifts to my family and my own life. Katz's own experiences with the death of his dog Orson resonated with me as I searched for hope and comfort in the days after Ozzie's death. What I learned, though, is that Ozzie changed me as a person. This book is the type that will teach you about the power our relationships with our pets have on us as people.

This book helped ease the grieving process involved with the death of a beloved family pet. Ozzie was more than just a pet, though. He really was part of my family. After reading Going Home, I learned to celebrate his life and be grateful for everything he did for me and my family. If you are in the process of grieving the loss of a pet, this is a book you cannot miss. It helps so much.

My grown daughter pleaded with me not to call the vet for her 15 year old dog. Fairly spry her whole life, the animal went downhill drastically in one week. My daughter said it was not fair to play God and put her down. That is, until she saw the look in the dear little dogs face and knew we had to.

A few months before, we had to finally put down our 12 year old Great Dane after lifting, cleaning and nursing him for almost a year too long. We didn't want to play God. He had no quality of life and we had plenty of guilt. I wish I had a copy of this book when we were faced with that very hard call.

Jon Katz makes it clear that life and death are going to happen and we do have to play a part in making decisions that will effect the outcome of both the animals and our own lives. There are many different scenarios played out in this book that will be helpful to read and ponder upon. Aggressive animals, terminally ill pets, people who lose a pet and lose the heart to deal with getting another one. Pets that disappear and never come home and dealing with children and death. He tells the story of an 80 year old women who just lost her cat and felt she was too old to ever consider getting another one. Mr. Katz found a 14 year old cat in a local shelter who had been left behind when the owners died. The cat lived only a year or two, very happily in the old woman's lap.

Everyone may or may not agree with all the advice and choices in the book, but there is enough information to be helpful to a great deal of people. Pet owners, family, friends, non-pet owners, we all have contact with animals on our journey through life. We do not have to play God, but we do have to learn compassion for all living beings and make the best decisions and choices, for us, for the animals and for the cycle of life.

I have been a long time Jon Katz fan until now. When I got to the chapter where he had Elvis, his pet steer, hauled off to the slaughterhouse I erased this book from my reader. I was horrified that Mr Katz could do this to a people loving, trusting animal and do it in a fairly cold manner. I am no longer a Jon Katz fan.

I got this book for a friend of mine whose beloved dog, Dexter, had recently passed. She was having a very hard time dealing with her grief, and as someone who knows the pain of losing an animal, I thought this book seemed like it could be a comfort to her.

Jon Katz writes with a true understanding of what animal lovers experience when they've lost a furry family member. Animals aren't accessories, and they're not interchangeable - they're individual, unique personalities and each one leaves an enormous hole when they're gone.

My friend cried through the entire book, but found solace in the fact that she isn't alone in her grief. GOING HOME is a beautiful tribute to the animals we share our lives with.

I've read several of Mr. Katz' books, and enjoyed them all. I was interested in this particular one due to having recently lost a very special 14-year old Border Collie, and I am having a very difficult time getting beyond her death.

As withall books of this nature, none of us will ever know what a dog really thinks or feels. We can only apply human emotions to their actions and hope we are close. I certainly did appreciate the subject of being your pets advocate; and took some peace from the fact that I did that reasonably well.

Don't agree with every aspect of the book, but again did glean some great insights and consider it well worth reading to add to the human arsenal of dealing with the death of a beloved animal. I may well read it again.

Having liked several books by this author, this book was one I wanted to read. It helps deal with an awkward topic that most don't even want to talk to on a human level...let alone when it's "just a pet". To the heart, an animal dying creates just as much pain.

I think reading the stories helps one heal their own "holes" from pets that have passed on. It's the feeling of not being alone and thinking about what your own pet taught you on the journey together.

One of the points the author makes I've often found true: "Pain defines love, gives it meaning." We wouldn't really see the value of what we love if we didn't see the opposite extreme.

This is a book I'd probably pick up for someone that has just lost a pet or still grieving for one of those "extra special" ones.

The author, Jon Katz, discusses several pet/farm animal losses in this book, none of which hit him as hard as when he had his dog, Orson, euthanized. Katz was surprised and embarrassed by his feelings and emotions over the loss of this dog. However, through the loss of Orson and other animals, Katz learned much about himself and his feelings, especially the grieving process. The book was easy to read, but I felt it was a little redundant at times. I did not care for the part of Katz visiting an animal communicator, who supposedly helped Katz get in touch with Orson from beyond. Katz openly shares what he learned from his personal grieving process and offers some advice. For those of you who just lost or are about to lose a cherished pet, this book may help you understand your feelings of loss and to let you know that it's okay - and perfectly human - to grieve your loss.

For any animal lover, the deep feelings of sorrow and loss felt after your pet has died is a natural and normal part of the grieving process. Here the author, Jon Katz, expresses moving and raw emotions that overtook him as he came to terms with the decision to euthanize his beloved dog, Orson. Though the dog was loving to Jon, several people had been bitten, including a child, and the thought of the danger that might be yet to come was enough to make easier the decision to put him to rest. Orson helped Jon through life changes, career switches, and self revelations that were both personal and public. They shared a bond not unlike soul mates. Katz puts into perspective all the conflicting feelings of guilt, helplessness, regret and despair that lead up to the actual visit to the vet, and the following weeks that passed. Jon and his second wife, Marie, take in many needy animals on their farm over the years. They nurse a lamb to health, care for horses needing special TLC, and even endear themselves to roosters and barn cats. Layers of complex emotions are revealed with each pet's passing throughout. But during each event, there is never a doubt that the pets brought a special something to their worlds and they, in turn, offered the pets love and companionship. The tough decisions that had to be made were with the best interest of the humans and pets involved. Sometimes financial constraints dictate the decision, when you just cannot afford to continue costly vet care to prolong the life (and suffering) of an animal who does not have a bright prognosis.

Having had pets all our lives since childhood, and having held in my arms our last two dogs that we grew up with as they took their last breaths, I know firsthand the soul shaking grief that envelopes you as you feel the life pass from their soft and furry bodies. I remember the bonds we shared, the tears sometimes only they knew I shed, the treats they just loved to sneak, and the silliness that we enjoyed day in and day out. There is no quick and easy way to grieve, but the process can be cathartic and you will heal in time, no matter how long it takes. Through journals, photos, even poems and letters, you and your family can honor the memory of your beloved pet in ways that cherish the great life you shared with them. This book gently reminds us why it's important to say goodbye, why we mourn so deeply upon their passing, and remember so clearly every moment we are fortunate enough to share with them. It reminds us that while our pets love us unconditionally and completely, they do not fear death as humans do, nor do they wish to prolong their stay when their time has come to leave us. To quote a line in the book: "They come when they're needed, leave when they're done, and go, I believe, to a place beyond my imagination." And finally, "When the time comes to say goodbye to your pet, whisper to yourself: "Thank you. I let you go and I celebrate your time with us."