Customer Reviews

Going Overboard: The Misadventures of a Military Wife

5 star:		(92)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(19)

 

 

A ghastly book by the sadly misnamed Sarah Smiley. I have a weakness for domestic memoirs (Jean Kerr, Shirley Jackson, Erma Bombeck) and I am, myself, a military wife, so I was excited to find this book and fully expected to enjoy it.

I hated it. A lot. With the exception of books about serial killers, I don't believe I've ever read a book with a protagonist I liked less. 260 pages of whining. No empathy for anyone: poor Sarah always has it worse. Her mother (an admiral's wife) comments that deployments used to be worse back in the days before email. No, says Sarah, email is worse because there is more disappointed anticipation. ?!?

A friend suffers a miscarriage and Sarah has to be literally shamed into going to help her (Sarah doesn't like blood, you see). Nowhere in the remainder of the book is there an inkling of sympathy for this woman (also a military wife) who has had three miscarriages, the last one while her husband was deployed. It's all about Sarah (who has to babysit for the woman's older child).

Another friend's husband is sent home from the deployment and their family must relocate to California (from Florida) in a month. The reasons for this are not specified, but I can tell you that an officer isn't usually sent home early from a deployment for good behavior. Sarah's response? First, jealousy that her friend's husband is coming home; second, discontent that she (Sarah) will be losing her friend!

The worst, though, is her treatment of her husband, whom she is mad at throughout the entire book. To use one example only: Sarah's husband sends her an email -- one that would have broken my heart had my husband sent it to me -- in which he writes sadly that he will miss seeing their new baby's first smile, just as he missed seeing their older son's. Sarah's response to this? To be angry because that was the only email he sent her that day.

I finished the book only because I was hoping she would grow up! Nope, though. She was just as self-absorbed and whiney on the last page as she had been on the first. I came to Amazon and read the reviews and found several people who said something like "I don't know anything about the military, but now I have an understanding of what military wives go through." I hate the idea that people will read this tripe and think it is in any way representative of me, or of any of the fine military spouses I have known!

And this was a memoir! I can't imagine writing a book in which I acted like a spoiled brat from page 1 to page 260 and allowing it to be published with my picture on the front! Of course, Sarah doesn't think she is a spoiled brat -- oh no! Sarah pees champagne and poops gold bricks and is the white-hot center of the universe...

Once I finished it I threw the thing in the garbage. Yep, the garbage. Usually I donate books I don't want anymore to the library, but that didn't seem final enough in this case. So it's on its way to the York County Waste Treatment Facility right now. And I'm not a bit sorry!

In her memoir, Going Overboard, Sarah Smiley gives readers the details of the perils she suffered during one of her husband's unexpected deployments. It has to be one of the funniest, most refreshingly honest accounts I've ever read.
I must say I'm appalled at how cruel some of these other reviews are. Truthfully, I believe the negative reviewers either did not even read the book or completely missed the point. Sarah's book is the recollection of a difficult time in her life which helps her realize to that it's time to grow up. The book jacket clearly states that this is a memoir. I'm not sure how it came to be that readers are disappointed because it didn't turn out to be a "how to cope". Hopefully these readers realize that no one can tell you how to cope; that's something you have to figure out on your own after some soul-searching. Perhaps next time they might also scan the book jacket before penning a scathing review.
Sarah spent her entire life in a Navy household, so she figured she was prepared for life as a Navy spouse. However, when her husband deploys, she finds herself unsure and often miserable. Lack of communication on the part of her husband and a crush on her doctor make the situation complicated. Not once does Sarah brag about the status of her father or her husband. I find that refreshing. There is far too much enlisted vs officer chatter amongst military spouses. It does not matter how much money your husband makes. You will still feel the same pain in his absence.
I also love that Sarah tells the story as a woman and not as the stereotypical military spouse. She does not say that "spouses should do this" or "spouses should do that" in regards to their feelings and opinions on the jobs of their significant others. Finally! I commend Sarah for writing what she really felt as opposed to writing 300 pages of lies. No one wants to read that. That's not what writing is about. Can you imagine a book about a spouse enthusiastically seeing her partner off, only to clean house and do crafts for six months? How boring! That's not REAL.
The negative reviewers can deny it as much as they'd like, but the truth is, everyone feels like this at some point or another. Truly strong people are able to share it with others and grow from the experience. There's not a soul who can claim that their every action has been perfect. Sarah's book is about learning and "growing up". The person she was during that particular deployment is not the same person she is today. Rest assured she is stronger and more capable. Sarah, her family, and her marriage are no doubt more solid because of the lessons she learned during this period.
I absolutely adored Going Overboard. I laughed. I cried. Sarah's writing makes the reader feel like they are in the room as the conversation progresses. It feels like she's actually speaking. Congratulations on your book, Sarah. I loved every moment, and I'm looking forward to your next publication!

If Teri Hatcher were a Navy wife, this would be her book. Full of slapstick comedy and honest observations about herself and her world, it's like a chick-lit narrative that's hard to put down. I thoroughly enjoyed reading GOING OVERBOARD, just as I enjoy reading Sarah's weekly columns. Her insights are razor sharp.

GOING OVERBOARD isn't a deployment guide or a how-to book. It's an autobiographical novel or a memoir account of Navy family life during a deployment. If you want a guide, there are good guides out there already, but Sarah's book is a different genre.

As an Army wife, I applaud Sarah Smiley's courage and candor. I hope she inspires other military wives to open up and share their stories.
Marna Krajeski, author of HOUSEHOLD BAGGAGE: The Moving Life of a Soldier's Wife.

Ok. I am a former military wife and Sarah has expressed what I perhaps repressed in my 20 plus years . Granted my husband was an officer, but that should not matter in the least. We don't wear our husbands rank, we are mere mortals and Sarah was able to portray the human sides which I bet a lot of folks out their military or not have felt at some time. Can we say Thankyou and God Bless Sarah for telling "it" like it "is"

At last- an Honest person whom isn't afraid to speak her mind finally puts the truth (and dirty laundry) out there in the open for others who can't imagine what the military life is like and what spouses go through with the struggles of deployments, the war, the children, the temptations of infedelity, the death of a beloved pet, and so much more.
With all of the different scenarios, be prepared to cry, sob, laugh, and scream "What the hell were you thinking?" It's so well written I almost felt guilty like I was invading their privacy. Thank you Sarah for a wonderful insight into your somewhat normal life and Thank you Dustin for backing her up! But most of all for defending our country.
......and to think I was the only one who wore control top pantyhose.

I thought this book was a courageous book to write. The subject matter has very sensitive and personal material in it, yet through humor it relinquishes a great message for not only military spouses, but to all wives/partners whose life partner's career manages their lives. Being an Officer's wife of 8 years, and a prior enlisted dependent of 21 years, the message I took to heart was that I don't always have to be so strong. It's ok to have doubts and weaknesses; and also it's acceptable to not always have a pretense of a perfect marriage. This book seem to look at one's journey and challenge to attain personal growth and how even though freindships are essential, it's the individual person who actually has to decide to grow or not. A person's journey out reaches rank, job titles, or financial background; I believe the message has helped me in my own journey of personal growth which continues daily.

I really loved this book. I happened to notice "Going Overboard" in the bookstore, started reading and later ordered it here because I HAD to finish it. Sarah's sometimes irreverent, always self-deprecating humor tickled me and her honesty was admirable. Not all reviewers agree about this, but consider: Sarah felt about as negative about herself as these reviewers felt about her. Here was a woman with a toddler and a newborn left alone for several months to cope with problems she'd never faced before. She'd married straight after college and had never lived alone. Sarah was brave to confess her crush for the "cute doctor" who sort of innocently established a rapport that was almost "friend like". He was kind and flattering and made himself available to her for emotional support. She realized that she was feeling attracted and did the right thing by switching doctors. Having been an Air Force wife, I know that everything goes wrong during a spouse's TDY. One friend with a new baby and a toddler got pneumonia while her husband was away. Military family members have to be resilient and prepared for anything but can only be expected to be as human as we all are. Thanks to all the next door neighbors, church congregations, spouse support groups, friends who step in to help out. Thanks to Sarah for writing about her experience.

I, too, am a Navy Pilot's wife with 2 young children who's been through a couple deployments. I recently came across Sarah Smiley's columns and just adored them and her. I found them to be witty and honest and true to life. I expected similar from the book! It let me down. I wanted to admire her, as I did reading her columns, but instead I just got annoyed! I have had so many of the same feelings. There have been so many times I've been unmotivated to get anything done. I have felt loneliness and even helplessness. I have wanted to just check out and let someone else take care of me. But I was disappointed in how she handled those feelings. I don't want to judge her. I respect her for her honesty and her ability to express her story in such a humorous way. But it was not as inspiring for me as I had hoped. I don't think I will recommend this book to anyone, but I will definitely continue reading her columns!

Author Sarah Smiley was no stranger to military life: she was a former Navy brat who knew all about deployment and military importance - but nonetheless her routines and perspective were challenged when her husband was unexpectedly deployed, testing her resolve and her life. How Sarah coped with her husband away is related with humor, irony and insights in her autobiography GOVING OVERBOARD: THE MISADVENTURES OF A MILITARY WIFE - and will provide wives in similar circumstances with many insights and strategies.

I'm a reader, not a writer, so it is difficult for me to put into words my feelings for this book. To sum it up, it is the most honest book on the realities of life as a military wife that I have ever read! I laughed -- and cried -- along with Sarah's recollections. My husband was in the USMC for 24 years -- both as enlisted and as an officer -- and I found her observations very accurate. Haven't we all -- no matter what our husbands do -- had people in our life who are so very different from us that we seem like we are looking at them from the outside (the "Sashas")? I don't think Sarah is being a snob; she is just observing that other women are different and have different ways of handling situations. Despite the fact that we moved 13 years in my husband's career, I'm now a military mom (wouldn't you think our children -- especially my older son, who went to 4 high schools in 4 years -- would stay far away from a military life?): My daughter served 4 years in the Marine Corps and saw an even different side. My two sons are currently on active duty, the younger one in the USMC and the older one a Naval Flight Officer (who, by the way, is married to a military brat). My daughter-in-law will agree that the life of a military WIFE is much different than the life of a military "BRAT" (Born, Raised, and Traveled), and I have HIGHLY recommended this book to her. There are pressures and temptations and experiences in the life of a military family that others cannot understand, no matter how they try. I can remember living in a military housing apartment building and hiding behind closed curtains whenever I saw a black government car pull into the driveway -- knowing that the car probably carried a chaplain and a Commanding Officer who were going to deliver bad news to someone in the building.
Anyway, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book -- especially to military wives. Read this for what it is -- an honest portrayal of this woman's life as a military wife. Her experiences are not going to be the same as every other military wife's; her feelings are not going to be the same as every other military wife's; and her ways of handling things are not going to be the same as every other military wife's -- but when you are going through the struggles of married military life, it is certainly nice to see that it's okay to admit that life is not all sunshine and flowers 24/7.
In summary of this long and rambling review, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book to ALL military wives! Even if you don't agree, you should commend Sarah on her spirit, wit, and COURAGE! This is not a self-help book for military wives; it's an honest memoir. Trust your Key Volunteer network (or other support groups) and other military wives -- those who have "been there/done that" -- especially those who can observe the life as objectively as this author.