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Nothing of what was expected: They Stole the Good Name
on November 6, 2011
First of all, I've had this game on pre-order since mid-year. The N64 version constituted my childhood. This was the first person shooter that we came home from school on Friday's just waiting to play. This was the all night pizza party/sleep over game. This was grade school bliss. To this day as a college grad we still sit down once every other month or so to play N64 Goldeneye. I couldn't WAIT for this game to be out on Xbox 360 and re-live the glory in high def.
So last night I unboxed Goldeneye, ordered pizza, had my friends over and we all anticipated reliving our favorite N64 game with new gameplay and hi def graphics.
The game started with no familiar intro or music. The menus we're re-done of course and looked good. Mounting excitement led to our first round of disappointment when multiplayer asked us to 'pick our class.' Huh? Goldeneye is supposed to have multiplayer weapons sets for the whole team, not individual classes! Where are grenade launchers or proximity mines, pistols or power weapons?!
Next we noticed that there were no 'game modes' like 'you only live twice' or 'license to kill.' So we thought 'ok, we'll do it manually.' But you can't even handicap your health down to 0 for a license to kill effect. So there's no old school game modes or even a way to re-create them!
So okay, no weapons we like and no game modes. But at least there's the characters right? It's GOLDENEYE afterall! SO we each have always played the same character. Odjob, Travelyen, Zenia, and Helicopter Pilot. Of the above, Odjob is the only one still existent. No Travelyan in GOLDENEYE?! How? He's in the movie!
And the final multiplayer nail in the coffin was the maps. Only one or two maps were the same. Facility was one of our favorite old ones and was in the new version. So we chose that map and our new character, weapon sets, and game mode (at least the map will be the same, right?). WRONG! The map isn't facility at all. It's a square room with ramps everywhere and two glowing plasma tanks in the center of the room. No thought, no effort, not even close to the Goldeneye story line or the N64 game. Terrible, lame, boring map.
So I'm already saying I'm going to sell this game....but wait. There's single player. Maybe that will be better.
I switch to single player while my friends watch to see if the game has a saving grace. The game starts with a tutorial level that you can't skip. Boring, lame, and unecessary. Then it progresses into the Dam level. Ok, good, so the level order is at least the same. But then the level starts and you're playing with an AI travelyan. He's guiding you and telling you what to do! What the hell? Thats not how it's supposed to be. The game play continued to deviate from the original and get worse as I played.
I'm so disgusted with this game that I feel bad even re-selling it. I've had it open less than 4 hours and I've already got it posted to sell. Shameful to use the Goldeneye franchise name on a featureless first person shooter. Stick to Battlefiled 3 and COD MW3 for your kicks this holiday season. Fail